Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

edited February 2016 in Bond Movies Posts: 1,778
Seeing as how my "You Know You're a Bond Fan when…" thread is surprisingly still going strong after two and a half years I thought I'd create a thread based on another popular IMDB trend. The "Things We've Learned From…" thread. Basically what we'll do is list accounts of our humorous perceptions, goofs, or just funny moments from each selected Bond film in a tongue and cheek way. Every 2 or 3 days I'll switch the movie. It should be fun. We'll start with Dr.No

1) James Bond is such a staunch believer in brand loyalty that he insists on using the very gun that jammed on him on his last assignment and resulted in him spending 6 months in a hospital.

2) Dr.No, an evil mastermind, fails to notice that Chan had inexplicably grown nearly half a foot when he put on his radiation suit.

3) While killing a tarantula, each strike is accompanied by a loud and intense orchestral beat.

4) Bond is such a man's man that he is able to assertively order around the very men who have kidnapped him.

5) "Underneath the Mango Tree" was apparently the equivalent of Ice Ice Baby in 1962 Jamaica. It was everywhere.
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Comments

  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    6) We learned Sean could really act and not just look the part.
    7) Location was key to a succesfull Bond film. The audience seeing this filmm for most was the first time seeing parts of the world in colour they had only heard of. And that is why Bond is so important.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger @!#¤%^§
    Posts: 43,562
    8) "Gritting your teeth" is not just an expression. People really did that back in the day. If the traffic was troublesome for instance.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Alright, this thread doesn't seem to be catching on. I'll give it a few more shots.

    Let's move on to Things We've Learned from…..From Russia With Love

    1) Ordering Red Wine with fish is a sure-fire way of telling someone's intentions are evil.

    2) James Bond masks that go from remarkably life-like to remarkably fake are readily available at all Spectre training camps.

    3) Saving a Gypsy Cheif's life leads one to becoming his son and thus comes with certain perks.

    4) Kerim Bay loves his children so much he forces them into menial jobs such as being his manservant or being his personal driver rather than sending them to college or encouraging them to branch out in the world.

    5) Women's love-lives are a matter of public record in Russia.

    6) John Barry is a better composer than Monty Norman.
  • doubleoegodoubleoego #LightWork
    Posts: 11,090
    Raki really is filthy stuff.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    1) That Bond and M spent time together letting their hair down. ;)
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger @!#¤%^§
    Posts: 43,562
    That someone broke the fourth wall before Lazenby did.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Let's keep these numbered for each film. I'm curious to see which gets the most. We're up to #10.

    10) Upon hearing the startling news of a "horrible accident" from a clearly frantic employee of the Orient Express Tatiana's first reaction is disappointment over not being able to sit down for tea.

    11) Bond and M had an "interesting experience" in Tokyo. The details of said experience would've made a far more compelling film than DIe Another Day.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded Riding a white swan to Matera
    Posts: 12,436
    These are all great, but I have a hard time adding anything.

    Ok, for FRWL:

    12) Being dubbed in English does not deter from a performance when you are as naturally captivating and fine an actress as Daniela.
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,403
    13) Krilencu has a nice face
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded Riding a white swan to Matera
    Posts: 12,436
    14) Pretitles sequence through the actual titles can be entertaining
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    15. Slapping women is not cool
    16. Istanbul makes a good Bond location
    17. Kerim is awesome
    18. When in doubt, see #17.
  • Posts: 543
    Things I've learned from FRWL.

    19. Stalking a man wearing a rubber mask is apparently not the same as stalking a man
    not wearing a mask.
    20. Rubber masks only look fake when they are being removed.
    21. Tablets dropped into glasses of white wine apparently cannot be seen before they
    fizz and dissolve.
    22. Riding crops are handy desk accessories.
    23. Not only is SPECTRE a successful criminal organization, it also has a do-it-yourself
    division that can create spare rooms behind mirrors in hotel rooms.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,244
    :)) =)) =D>
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Great ones gents. I suppose FRWL is a little tough to poke fun at. Our next one should be easier. Things we've learned from…..Goldfinger.

    1) An unfortunate rupture in the space-time continuum caused Felix Leiter to age 20 years between 1962 and 1964.

    2) The eyes of an erotic dancer provide the perfect reflection.

    3) Sean Connery can wear a ridiculous looking baby blue onesie yet still be the coolest man on the planet.

    4) Bond's hotel room and the best restaurant in Miami are one and the same.

    5) MI6 apparently pays it's Q-Branch assistants enough money to where they will willingly test an "experimental" bullet-proof coat to be fired upon at close range by an assault rifle.

    6) There is seemingly no mandatory retirement age for golf caddies.

    7) Tilly Masterson's marksmanship abilities make stormtroopers look like sharpshooters.

    8) Bond simply bending down beneath his cell's door is reason enough for Goldfinger's perplexed guard to open the cell and investigate the inexplicable occurrence.

    9) Bond confuses the number 7 with the number 3.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    1) Goldfinger loves only gold
    2) Golf scenes are cooler than watching the sport.
    3) The Nazi dumped their gold at the bottom of lakes.
    4) The Birth of the villain side kick
    5) Bond FX team use real hazards (Sakata burned badly with electricity scene at fort knox.
    6) Sakata has a high pain thresehold.
    7) Anthony Sinclair set the bar on 3 piece suits.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    17. Rolling around in a barn can be rather messy.
    18. KFC existed in the 60s.
    19. Sean Connery cannot tell the difference between a 3 and a 7.
    20. Portulent men can still be suctioned through a small airplane window,
    21. Slapping women's behinds is not cool.
    22. The same actress can play two different and no one is the wiser.
  • 23. US Army generals with German accents must be common.
    24. When needed, Oddjob can set his hat to stun.
    25. Bond prefers his Mint Juleps not too sweet.
    26. There's ice at St. Moritz this time of the year.
    27. M doesn't put his agents up at the best hotels out of pure gratitude.
    28. It's pronounced "Nah-zies."
    29. Audiences won't notice if you slip a little footage from FRWL in there.
    30. Some things just aren't done.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    31. There will never be a better character name than Pussy Galore.
  • TokolosheTokoloshe Under your bed
    edited December 2014 Posts: 2,667
    22. Even mute people can say "Aha!"
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded Riding a white swan to Matera
    edited December 2014 Posts: 12,436
    Oh these are good ones.

    23. We now know what Bond's dreams are like (and are not surprised).
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    34. Even if she's immune to the charm, don't worry, it'll work later.
    35. If the majority of the country's gangsters agree with you, kill them anyway.
  • TokolosheTokoloshe Under your bed
    Posts: 2,667
    Apologies for messing up the numbering there.

    36. What a laser is, as we now sit there using one ourselves to watch the DVD.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    37) The makers of this film had absolutely no concept of what American gangsters really acted and sounded like. Seriously they all come off as parodies.

    38) One instance of making whoopee with Bond was enough to convince Pussy Galore to throwaway her job, her trainee's jobs, and her future as a wealthy jungle woman.
  • GoldenballGoldenball United States
    Posts: 74
    39. Bond makes a clean break from Sylvia Trench and never sees her again. Hmph!
  • MurdockMurdock Mr. 2000
    Posts: 16,141
    40. Being captured for half a movie can be rewarded with a mint julep.
  • GoldenballGoldenball United States
    edited December 2014 Posts: 74
    41. Being a gangster shouldn't make you reliant on your host for a lift to the airport.

    42. Most people over thirty didn't like The Beatles.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger @!#¤%^§
    Posts: 43,562
    43 In the 60s, aeroplanes were operated by strings in the sky.
  • It seems to me we have learned alot from Goldfinger. Let's move on shall we. Things we've learned from…..Thunderball.

    1) It took Sean Connery 3 films before he finally decided to do the gunbarrel intro himself and even then it looked clumsy as hell.

    2) A widow opening a door for herself is definitive proof that said widow is not only a man but the villainous Colonel thought to be dead who killed three of your fellow agents.

    3) Q decided to remove all of the useful gadgets and deadly weapons from the DB5 and replace them with water.

    4) It's perfectly acceptable to blackmail a woman into having sex with you provided she enjoys it.

    5) It's also perfectly acceptable to blackmail a woman into having sex with you provided you massage her back with a mink glove afterward.

    6) Domino thinks nothing of it when when being asked out on a date by a man who she just saw stranded on a boat with a beautiful bikini-clad woman.

    7) If you refrain from drinking, smoking, and making love your only path in life is that of a professional killer.

    8) The best way to remove a poisonous spine from someone's foot is to chew it out.

    9) It's entirely possible to remove a scuba mask off of a dead man and put it on despite the fact that you're both already underwater.

    10) A traditional "good guy army" vs. "bad guy army" climax taking place underwater isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger @!#¤%^§
    Posts: 43,562
    11 Raymond s brother used to be a pilot.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 11,175
    12. You are able to carry a rocket pack and helmet around inconspicuously.
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