Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • Posts: 9,840
    36 seeing Sammy David jr is not important seeing blofield in drag is
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    40. You can't polish a turd.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Kerim wrote: »
    40. You can't polish a turd.

    And on that note we'll be leaving Diamonds Are Forever behind.

    Now I'm really excited as we're moving onto the Roger Moore Era. Bond meets Blaxploitation for the first and (probably for the best) last time in
    Things We've Learned From…..Live and Let Die.

    1) A fortunate rupture in the space-time continuum caused Bond to reverse age 15 years between 1971 and 1973, complete with a slimmer belly and better head of hair.

    2) A pre-title sequence without Bond is no fun.

    3) M will be a rude jerk to Bond despite the fact that he is the one who barged into Bond's home in the middle of the night to send him away on a moment's notice.

    4) Felix Leiter continues his trend of brilliant disguises complete with different facial features, hair, voice, weight, height, build, attitude, and demeanor.

    5) Bond is the whitest guy on the planet.

    6) A 22 year old Doctor Quinn "Medicine Woman" looked like a goddess.

    7) Kananga obviously didn't go to the "Felix Leiter School of Disguises".

    8) Just because Bond is being held captive in 1970s Harlem doesn't mean he can't get his flirt on.

    9) The CIA will send an inexperienced and incompetent rookie agent to assist the great 007 on his top secret mission.

    10) After someone leaving a poisonous snake to kill him, an impostor posing as a hotel waiter delivering his champagne, and a voodoo message of death being left on his bed Bond will simply drink said Champagne, crack a light-hearted joke, and go to sleep.

    11) Quarrel Jr. will happily aid the man who basically got his father killed.

    12) Upon discovering Rosie is a double agent, Bond will do the gentlemanly thing and have sex with her before exposing her and threatening to kill her.

    13) Bond has no moral quandary with using a young virgin's religious beliefs to trick her into having sex with him.

    14) Bond has no moral quandary with using the same de-virginized girl as bait for a vengeful diplomat criminal and his blood-thirsty drug dealing associates.

    15) The ruthless New York Mafia will simply stand by and allow Kananga to monopolize the drug business and subsequently run them out of business. Because the Mob is known for their good sportsmanship.

    16) Apparently Foghorn Leghorn became a man and joined the Louisiana Police Department.


  • Posts: 5,968
    17) Judging by the beginning, Bond has read too much Feydeau (for those who are not French : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Feydeau

    18) He also have great magnetism.

    (And I agree wholeheartedly about number 15)
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Gerard wrote: »
    17) Judging by the beginning, Bond has read too much Feydeau (for those who are not French : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Feydeau

    18) He also have great magnetism.

    (And I agree wholeheartedly about number 15)

    I loved Live and Let Die but even as a kid I thought Kananga's plan was one of the dumbest and poorly thought out schemes in the history of the series. I immediately thought to myself that all this guy would accomplish is royally pi--ing off every crime family in New York and in turn would suffer their combined wrath as he would now have given them all a common enemy/threat. Bond didn't even need to do anything after Kananga disclosed the details of his misguided scheme. All he'd need to do was sit back and allow Kananga to walk his way straight into spectacular calamity.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited December 2014 Posts: 12,480
    RE: #16 Apparently Foghorn Leghorn became a man and joined the Louisiana Police Department.
    =)) Oh I am still laughing, @DoubleOhhSeven. That was perfect. JW FoghornLeghorn Peppah!

    and

    #19) If you drive a big bus into a overhang without the proper clearance, you can shave off the top of the bus like it was made from butter. No problem! And thereby also setting up further vehicle and mechanical sight gags, say for use in films, that would only progress downhill from there, into further banana peel humor.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,188
    20) MI6 will shadow restaurants to get to know what the owner is up to.
    21) keeping gasbullits in your mouth will make you blow up like a balloon and burst, without the bloody mess any other explosion of the human body would leave.
    22) The fishing boat that's the worst upkept with the laziest captain is equipped by a secret service.
  • RE: #16 Apparently Foghorn Leghorn became a man and joined the Louisiana Police Department.
    =)) Oh I am still laughing, @DoubleOhhSeven. That was perfect. JW FoghornLeghorn Peppah!

    and

    #19) If you drive a big bus into a overhang without the proper clearance, you can shave off the top of the bus like it was made from butter. No problem! And thereby also setting up further vehicle and mechanical sight gags, say for use in films, that would only progress downhill from there, into further banana peel humor.

    LADA has a couple of Looney Tunes moments doesn't it? J.W. Pepper aswell as Bond pulling a "Bugs Bunny" and using the crocodiles as stepping stones. :))
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited December 2014 Posts: 2,629
    23. If you're in New Orleans and a funeral procession passes you by, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
    24. For the right price, an African-American taxi driver will take you to a KKK rally.
    25. Swallowing a compressed gas pill is no way to go.
    26. There are times when a shark doesn't fit in.
    27. Baron Samedi loves 7-Up.
    28. It is possible to jump on the backs of alligators to escape certain doom.
    29. Old ladies can cuss like a sailor.
    30. Q does not get up very early in the morning.
    31. People do smoke cigars while parasailing.
    32. Never get an assistant named Rosie.
  • Posts: 11,189
    33. That there are only two ways to disable a crocodile.
  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,367
    34. Never go into a bathroom without a mongoose.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,188
    35. Police constables in Louisiana with high power boats are not interested in strangers walking up to them and ask to borrow their boat when they just heard there was a chase on.

    36. Billy-Bob however does own the fastest boat in that perticular perish.

  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    37. If your name is Felix Leiter, the best place to hide the microphone is in the lighter.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    38. Clairvoyants lose their talent after the lose their virginity.
    39. Bond in New York has been done already.
    40. Best way to deal drugs is to hand them out for free, get everyone addicted and then put your price up.
    41. Quarrel had a son the same age as him.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    The slowest, most obvious, least convincing kick handed down in an alley in Harlem can still somehow kill two men.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    He looked terrible. He had man boobs
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    This might sound a little odd but something I noticed about this thread is that it seems to be following the same trend of the box office takes for the Bond films. An upward slope until TB. With a drop for YOLT, a bigger drop for OHMSS, than an increase for DAF, and another increase for LALD.
    Birdleson wrote: »

    1) A fortunate rupture in the space-time continuum caused Bond to reverse age 15 years between 1971 and 1973, complete with a slimmer belly and better head of hair.


    The insane thing is that Moore is two years older than Connery.

    A fact that shocked me at the time I learned it. If I had to guess I'd say Moore was in his mid to late 30s at the time of LALD. While Connery looks to be in his early 50s for DAF.
    He looked terrible. He had man boobs

    Physically Moore was never the most impressive Bond but in terms of his face he's dashing in every Bond film until FYEO or arguably OP. And you have to remember that physical fitness has come a long way since the 70s. Unless you were Charles Bronson no one was walking around at 45 years old with a ripped physique.

    The slowest, most obvious, least convincing kick handed down in an alley in Harlem can still somehow kill two men.

    Haha! I call that the "Moore Maneuver". He does it in TSWLM too to Sandor. Moore finds some structure hanging above him, grabs on, and gives a slow and gentle kick that wouldn't knock over a house of cards.
  • Posts: 1,146
    He looked terrible. He had man boobs

    lol
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Yeah, when mr big talked about how bond killed those two hoods in the alley, I was like....how???
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    43. If you bring Felix along, he will do nothing.
  • Yeah, when mr big talked about how bond killed those two hoods in the alley, I was like....how???

    I don't know that Bond actually killed those two thugs. I was under the impression that he just knocked them out.

    When did Mr. Big say that Bond killed them?
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Was it in the scene where teehee was going to break his finger?
  • Was it in the scene where teehee was going to break his finger?

    I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it's assumed Bond just knocks them out. Otherwise why would Bond immediately go for one of their guns.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,188
    Was it in the scene where teehee was going to break his finger?
    44. A metal arm with cutting device really isn't a good nail clipper at all.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    45. A Rolex Submariner should always be James Bond's watch. Did it first. Did it best!
  • Posts: 1,146
    The slowest, most obvious, least convincing kick handed down in an alley in Harlem can still somehow kill two men.

    Amen.

    The guy simply could not fight.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    He couldn't run, either. When they saw him run for the first time, guy hamilton nearly cried
  • Posts: 1,146
    He couldn't run, either. When they saw him run for the first time, guy hamilton nearly cried

    lol, he basically waddles up the stairs for his only cool Bond moment in fyeo, where he kicks the assassin's car off the cliff. Connery would have kicked the car and shot him as he fell away….
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    He couldn't run, either. When they saw him run for the first time, guy hamilton nearly cried

    lol, he basically waddles up the stairs for his only cool Bond moment in fyeo, where he kicks the assassin's car off the cliff. Connery would have kicked the car and shot him as he fell away….

    And Craig would have killed him with his bare hands, then shot him and then kicked the car off the cliff.
  • Posts: 1,146
    ..which would have been awesome:)
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