Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • Posts: 11,189
    bondjames wrote: »
    He couldn't run, either. When they saw him run for the first time, guy hamilton nearly cried

    lol, he basically waddles up the stairs for his only cool Bond moment in fyeo, where he kicks the assassin's car off the cliff. Connery would have kicked the car and shot him as he fell away….

    And Craig would have killed him with his bare hands, then shot him and then kicked the car off the cliff.

    It would have been like Peter Weller's "death" in Robocop ;)
  • Posts: 1,146
    …which again would have been awesome and completely preferable to the Moore softness.
  • bondjames wrote: »
    He couldn't run, either. When they saw him run for the first time, guy hamilton nearly cried

    lol, he basically waddles up the stairs for his only cool Bond moment in fyeo, where he kicks the assassin's car off the cliff. Connery would have kicked the car and shot him as he fell away….

    And Craig would have killed him with his bare hands, then shot him and then kicked the car off the cliff.

    ...and Dalton would have headbutted the air two inches from Locque's head, creating a draft that causes Locque to lose his balance and fall over the edge.

    ...and Brosnan would have flashed his "pain face" causing Locque to turn and jump willingly over the cliff.

    ...and Lazenby would have lifted Locque over his head and broken his spine over one knee á la Bane.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    James Bond is a killer. He's an assassin. He kills in cold blood. That's the character. Roger Moore wasn't the guy for this part
  • Posts: 1,146
    bondjames wrote: »
    He couldn't run, either. When they saw him run for the first time, guy hamilton nearly cried

    lol, he basically waddles up the stairs for his only cool Bond moment in fyeo, where he kicks the assassin's car off the cliff. Connery would have kicked the car and shot him as he fell away….

    And Craig would have killed him with his bare hands, then shot him and then kicked the car off the cliff.

    ...and Dalton would have headbutted the air two inches from Locque's head, creating a draft that causes Locque to lose his balance and fall over the edge.

    ...and Brosnan would have flashed his "pain face" causing Locque to turn and jump willingly over the cliff.

    ...and Lazenby would have lifted Locque over his head and broken his spine over one knee á la Bane.

    That Dalton head-butt line as FUNNY! Somehow there's posters around there that think that head butt somehow looks like it made contact.
  • Posts: 1,146
    James Bond is a killer. He's an assassin. He kills in cold blood. That's the character. Roger Moore wasn't the guy for this part

    Could not agree more.

    No clowns.

    No tarzan yells.

    No old man hitting on younger women in an embarrassing way.

    A killer with a tux.

    That's the character.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    12) Upon discovering Rosie is a double agent, Bond will do the gentlemanly thing and have sex with her before exposing her and threatening to kill her.

    Honestly these are two of the least justifiable scummy things Bond has done.

    46. The queen of cups in an upside positions means an untrustworthy woman (can't believe im the first to say that one).
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    47. Bond was the worst thing to happen to Sheriff Pepper until Zod, Non and Ursa turned up a few years later.
  • Posts: 1,146
    Sheriff Pepper was the worst thing that could have happened to Bond.

    What was EON thinking?
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Thankyou for bringing us back on topic @Sark and @Thunderfinger.

    People like to poke fun at Roger Moore but the fact of the matter is if he hadn't succeeded so well as Bond during the 70s and redefined the character it's a safe bet we wouldn't still have a Bond series to talk about. His role of importance in Bond history tends to unfairly get overlooked. There, I've said my piece.

    Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

    48) Apparently there were no hard feelings over that "earmuffs" comment made some 9 years prior.

    49) M is willing to shoot Bond over a spoon.

    50) Upon getting a phone call from Strutter only for no one to be on the other line and Bond mysteriously disappearing at the very restaurant they were surveilling, Felix will think nothing of it, sit down and enjoy his two sazeracs. Felix Leiter: Great with disguises. Not so good with the little things.

    51) When attempting to find out if Bond had sexual relations with your mystic clairvoyant the best way to phrase the question is, "Did you mess with that".
  • Posts: 9,825
    49) M is willing to shoot Bond over a spoon.

    50) Upon getting a phone call from Strutter only for no one to be on the other line and Bond simply disappearing at the very restaurant they were surveilling, Felix will think nothing of it, sit down and enjoy his two sazeracs. Felix Leiter: Great with disguises. Not so good with the little things.

    quote]

    HAHAHAHA theese made me laugh
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Seeing as how yesterday was this next films 40th Anniversary I say it's appropriate we move on. Bond meets 70s Kung-Fu cinema for the first and (probably for the best) last time in,
    Things We've Learned From…..The Man with the Golden Gun

    1) One pre-title sequence without Bond is no fun. Two in a row is just mean.

    2) Apparently you can purchase a remarkably life-like mannequin of a top secret government operative who probably barely has any record of his existence.

    3) Rodney either bought a broken silencer or his gun was louder than a cannon.

    4) Roger Moore's body was possessed by the spirit of Sean Connery for this film.

    5) The best way to remove evidence from an exotic dancer's "magnificent" abdomen is to suck it out.

    6) Thugs will randomly attack Bond at a strip club for reasons never quite explained.

    7) Bond, Saida, and the thugs in question will fail to notice the camera crew hanging out in Saida's dressing room.

    8) Bond visits alot of strip clubs in this movie.

    9) Bond wants to sleep with every beautiful woman he speaks to but will inexplicably give Britt Eckland in her prime the cold shoulder for the majority of their mission.

    10) Bond's idea of heaven is a dojo where sub servant women clean him.

    11) Bond doesn't have a whole lot of respect for Asian karate traditions.

    12) Apparently everyone in Bangkok is martial arts grandmaster.

    13) Lt. Hip will risk his life and the lives of his two nieces in a daring rescue to save Bond but will inexplicably not notice that Bond never got in the getaway vehicle even though his nieces are shouting it at him.

    14) Sheriff Foghorn Leghorn will travel all the way to Thailand to purchase a car.

    15) English secret agents are typically from England.

    16) The great 007 won't notice the world's deadliest assassin assembling a gun right in front of him at the dinner table.

    17) Guy Hamilton would repeat the hell out of that same "henchman is still alive and tries to kill Bond on a mode of transportation" trick until we were all sick of it.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,340
    18) A Bond movie worse than Die Another Day exists.

    19) MI6 Agents can be stupid.

    20) Solar Energy is cool.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,741
    21) Bikini's rock.

    22) See above.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    22/23) You can find a way to ruin a stellar, jaw dropping car stunt if you try hard enough (just use a pennywhistle slide on the soundtrack).
  • Lancaster007Lancaster007 Shrublands Health Clinic, England
    Posts: 1,874
    24) you travel half-way around the world to get a bullet from Scaramanga's gun even though you have just had one sent to you in London! WTF?
  • pachazopachazo Make Your Choice
    Posts: 7,314
    25) Bond has nothing on Hip's nieces. They are the ones who should have been sent to kill Scaramanga.

    26) Roger Moore and Clifton James were the original Dukes of Hazzard.

    27) A great opportunity for Bond's first onscreen menage a trois was missed here.

    28) A little bit of Guy Hamilton goes a long way. One film in the 60's was just enough. Three in a row in the early 70's was a bit much.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,125
    29) Top assassins keep wax statues of their nemesis(es) in their practise area and brag about their future opponents to their mistresses.
    30) Dracula lives in Thailand.
    31) All assassins use nifty gadgets, like flying cars or put-them-together golden guns.
    32) Solar agitators work wonderfully on film, but not so much in real life.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    33. That gangster from either Goldfinger or Diamonds Are Forever (I forget which one) lived just long enough to get shot by Scaramanga in the PTS.
    34. Slap a third nipple on anybody, suddenly they're Francisco Scaramanga.
    35. Apparently the only physical characteristic anybody knows about Francisco Scaramanga is that he's got three nipples, despite the fact that the man never hides his face or takes his shirt off often.
    36. Bond can sneak around Scaramanga's funhouse quicker than the man who built it, and can change into the same suit the mannequin was wearing without anybody noticing. Even though Scaramanga shot its fingers off earlier, he's still completely clueless that it's Bond and not the mannequin.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    33. There is a way to conceal a weapon while wearing a bikini.
    34. Dracula is also a world renowned assassin.
    35. Something called Phuyuck seems to taste very nasty.
    36. You can't do an elaborate stunt without a slide whistle.
    37. Midgets easily fit in suitcases.
    38. Redneck sheriffs are still in their element in foreign countries.
    39. Pushing little boys off of a boat is not cool.
    40. Christopher Lee is as awesome in his 90s as he was in his 50s.
    41. Andrea Anders strangely resembles Octopussy.
    42. Roger Moore has a fetish for grabbing fat men's butt cheeks.
    43. Britt Ekland's butt can cause major damage.
    44. If TMWTGG was cast with cats, M would be Grumpy Cat.

  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    @Kerim, your numbering is off.
  • Posts: 5,908
    24) you travel half-way around the world to get a bullet from Scaramanga's gun even though you have just had one sent to you in London! WT
    F?

    Explanation : the bullet sent to London was a prop. Bond needed a real bullet really fired by Scaramanga for ballistic analysis. The one he had was useless.

    49 ) (I think) : Yip's nieces speak two different languages, none of which is Chinese (which is probably why he didn't understand them).

  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,357
    50.) Hip's nieces have a father who runs his own Karate School
    51.) The going rate for fixing boats in Thailand is 20,000 Baht.
  • Posts: 1,146
    Thankyou for bringing us back on topic @Sark and @Thunderfinger.

    People like to poke fun at Roger Moore but the fact of the matter is if he hadn't succeeded so well as Bond during the 70s and redefined the character it's a safe bet we wouldn't still have a Bond series to talk about. His role of importance in Bond history tends to unfairly get overlooked. There, I've said my piece.

    If by redefine you mean completely ridicule the character into a self parody that's even more effective than Austin Powers then I agree with you.

    He drives out into the Venice streets on a Gondola car.

    C'mon!!!!!

    Name one memorable fight from his films. Just one.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    Train fight with Tee Hee.
    Train fight with Jaws.
    Ski chase in TSWLM.
    Even with the slide whistle, the car stunt in TMWTGG.

    There's four memorable scenes (not just fights), and this is from someone who generally dislikes the Moore films.
  • Posts: 7,653
    I learned that I like Lulu's singing, not only in TMWTGG
  • Posts: 1,146
    Train fight with Tee Hee.
    Train fight with Jaws.
    Ski chase in TSWLM.
    Even with the slide whistle, the car stunt in TMWTGG.

    There's four memorable scenes (not just fights), and this is from someone who generally dislikes the Moore films.

    The car stunt's not a fight, and the whistle just undercuts that completely. And the tone makes it a gag, not an action sequence. And is that the Sheriff's arse in a close up, rolling around? What a joke.

    The ski chase is not a fight. Is that the one where he's skiing backwards and firing? To the bad disco music? Where all the shots of ole' Roge are all in rear projection cuz he's such a bad action actor that he can't even be put on skis? Gimme a break.

    The train fight with jaws? Is that the one where he looks like he's going to cry when Jaws grabs him by the head and pins him to the compartment wall?

    The TEE HEE fight!!! You mean the one where they trade bad, bad Austin-POwerslike Judo chops(!) and he flips Tee Tee out the window like that awful gag at the end of DAF? LOL, he's such a bad action guy he uses clippers to cut the wires on the prosthetic arm.

    At least you didn't list the Kananga death, which is one of the all-time worst moments in a decade of mediocre Bond filmmaking.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    You said "memorable", not "good". And I specifically said they weren't just fights. These are just scenes which jump out in my memory.
  • Posts: 1,146
    I'd have thought you might have brought up the Lotus chase in SWLM, the every end bit of the chase that ends up underwater. That was okay.

    Just okay.

    SO there are no good fight or sequences in Moore Bonds?
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    edited December 2014 Posts: 23,853
    @doubleohdad, you do realise that Roger Moore did not write the scripts, direct himself, film his own scenes or do any sound mixing? No need to go godzilla on the man.

    @Agent007391 merely summed up four memorable moments in the Moore era, not necessarily fights.

    The whistle is not Roger's fault, it's - I hate myself for saying this - Barry's. That's right, our beloved John Barry made that choice. What remains is a stellar piece of stunt work, never done before, and right the first and only time they ever did it, after meticulous computations of all the physics involved. JW going Benny Hill on us comes from the collaborations of Hamilton, Mankiewicz and Maibaum. I dread those 'funny' moments too, but I still admire the stunt work.

    Semantics. That ski chase could be considered a fight. The "bad disco" has to be experienced in a time capsule. Hamlish' score wasn't as timeless as Barry's usual output, but there you go. Years from now, people may reflect on the musical qualities of You Know My Name or A View To A Kill and laugh at them, not realising that back in their days, this was considered great music. Again, where is Moore's fault in all of this?

    If we're going to lower this discussion to the level of ugly faces during fights, I present to you Connery about to be crushed in an elevator, Lazenby flooring Draco's men with his mouth open wide enough to swallow a motorhome, Brosnan in that fight with - uh - well actually in almost every fight, ... Come on, reality check here. You're being thrown around by a thug twice your size, thrice your weight and with jaws four times the strength of yours, are you really supposed to keep a straight face?

    Wow, you need to start reading up on your Fleming, sir. Bond has to use his smarts against a giant with a mechanical arm. He's not from planet Krypton you know. Craig's Bond is the first one to hit the gym; Fleming's Bond focused mainly on his condition and alertness. I agree, this isn't the FRWL train fight but then there's no Peter Hunt around, no Connery and no Shaw. Even then, Roger was told to play things this way. Again I fail to see why it's his fault.

    I don't know about the Kananga stuff. It's pretty bad, I give you that, but there's a certain "time to face gravity" moment in the Bond series that made me wanting to walk out of the theatre.

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