Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    13. No well dressed man should be without a jetpack. Added bonus that it's very practical.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    11). Fleming should not have co-wrote with McCrory.
    12). Speeding uo the film to make the boat crash is cheap effect which just looks cartoonish.
    13). Bond will bribe for sex
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited December 2014 Posts: 23,883
    The lengths to which he will go and the sacrifices Bond is willing to make for 'Queen and Country' ("you don't think it gave me any pleasure did you?")

    Always give a girl her shoes when she steps out of the bath. It works like a charm.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    14. That Tom Jones can sure belt out those high note.
    15. Felix Leiter can go from a handsome dark haired man. to an elderly gentleman, to a fit guy with light hair.
    16. You really can film an action scene underwater.
    17. Music to action scenes seem to sound the same.
    18. BOOBIES!
  • Just letting you all know we're up to #24.

    24) Bond can break the laws of physics and rest his palm against water.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    25) Sucking the poison out of a woman's foot is a sure way to get her to trust you completely.
  • 26. Mink, it does the body good.
    27. When applied slowly and scientifically, ice cubes and cigarettes can be quite inducing.
    28. If you're an ally who survives the explosive finale and you haven't got breasts, you're on your own whether you know how to swim or not!
    29. Yogurt and lemon juice are no diet for a secret agent.
    30. If you're a randomly assigned number that doesn't start with two 0s and end with a 7, don't **** with SPECTRE.
    31. Dogs will raise their legs to the side to pee even when not standing beside any obvious object to be marked.
    32. Toupees don't work quite as well underwater.
    33. A little about women.
  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,572
    That I will never look as good in shorts as Sean Connery
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,029
    This one is still for Dr. No 9if that's allowed)
    - Chasing a secret agent in a hearse is a sure fire way to end up at a funeral.

    Thunderball:

    35. If you know about women, shooting clay pigeaons is easy as can be.
    36. Italian pilots have stunning sisters
    37. When you think your wife's boss has lost her dog, it's more likely your country lost a nuclear bomber.
    38. Health clinics lay close to bomber airfields
    39. Dead pilots are stored at health clinics.
  • Posts: 1,574
    12-Dressing as a woman is a good way to find out what they're saying at your funeral.
    13-Being cuffed to a spine stretcher is better than merely holding the hand grips.
    14-The road from Shrublands is a speedway track.
    15-Count Lippe drives an American 1957 Ford in England in 1965.
    16-Speeding up the film always add dramatic, but cartoonish tension.
    17-Once you've fired your motorcycle rockets, dump the bike in a pond.
    18-Good guys and bad guys wear different color scuba suits to avoid confusion.
    19-As always, Q is clairvoyant.
    20-A new camera is always a clue that you're working for the enemy.
  • pachazopachazo Make Your Choice
    Posts: 7,314
    49) Wearing an eyepatch automatically makes you intimidating.
    50) Forcing 007 to f*** a machine to death is a very entertaining if ineffective assassination method.
    51) Always stand up at SPECTRE meetings.
    52) Bond does not need a female assistant. Ahem, Mendes and company.
    53) Just in case you needed to be reminded, atomic bombs have the phrase "Handle Like Eggs" printed on them.
  • This one is still for Dr. No 9if that's allowed)
    - Chasing a secret agent in a hearse is a sure fire way to end up at a funeral.

    Thunderball:

    35. If you know about women, shooting clay pigeaons is easy as can be.
    36. Italian pilots have stunning sisters
    37. When you think your wife's boss has lost her dog, it's more likely your country lost a nuclear bomber.
    38. Health clinics lay close to bomber airfields
    39. Dead pilots are stored at health clinics.

    Yeah if anyone has any lessons from a previous film, share and it'll be counted towards that movie.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    Addendum to GF:

    Pussy Galore is only a slightly more giggling inducing name than Honor Blackman.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,696
    It's entirely possible to remove a scuba mask off of a dead man and put it on despite the fact that you're both already underwater.
    It is. Never scuba dived, I take it?
    ;))
  • chrisisall wrote: »
    It's entirely possible to remove a scuba mask off of a dead man and put it on despite the fact that you're both already underwater.
    It is. Never scuba dived, I take it?
    ;))

    Nope. Never gone although I've always wanted to. Not much to see under the east river.

    I was always under the impression that the point of a scuba mask is to keep water out of your eyes. Even if Connery were The Flash he couldn't swap masks fast enough to avoid water getting in.
  • Alright gents we seem to be on a upward trend. DN got only 9 lessons, FRWL 23, GF 44, and TB taking the lead with a whopping 53. It seems the more outrageous the Bond movie the more we learn. That being the case we should have alot to say about things we've learned from…..You Only Live Twice.

    1) Sean Connery was ether bored out of his mind making this film or there was a deleted subplot involving Bond battling clinical depression.

    2) The best way to convince Bond's enemies that he is dead is to come up with a fake death scenario that no one important actually witnesses.

    3) MI6 will risk drowning it's best agent by actually burying him at sea instead of burying a weighted coffin and simply having Bond already on the sub.

    4) Bond is either deeply ashamed of or has repressed his memories of the "interesting experience" he and M shared in Tokyo as he tells Hedison he has never been to Japan.

    5) The large Japanese hit-man cannot tell the difference between his fellow Japanese partner and a 6'2 burly British man even when he is carrying him provided said Brit is wearing a hat and a small surgical mask.

    6) In Japan a group of women can be a man's "possessions".

    7) Moneypenny's affections for Bond are such common knowledge that even the Japanese secret service is well aware.

    8) Tiger will arrange for a separate helicopter complete with a cameraman to film the "drop in the ocean" just so Bond and Aki could have a better look.

    9) Disguising yourself as a Japanese fisherman and cosplaying as Spock are apparently the same thing.

    10) Bond's Japanese disguise will completely vanish once it comes into contact with water.

    11) During the attack on his base, Blofeld keeps a much cooler demeanor than his poor cat.

    12) When approaching a large German henchman carrying the key you need the best course of action is to slowly walk up to him and let him punch you.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,029
    13) Since TB, equipping Bond in the field has become common practice for Q
    14) Bond knows his local drinks as no other
    15) Japanese firms will kill american tourists to prevent anyone noticing they emptied a cargo ship.
    16) Helga Brandt thinks it's far better to get herself out of a plane to kill Bond, instead of tying him up and dropping him out of a perfectly fine aeroplane.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited December 2014 Posts: 23,883
    Things We've Learned from…..You Only Live Twice

    17. Dr. Evil's first appearance was not in the Austin Powers movies.
    18. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest, but can actually save your life.
    19. It's unadvisable to swim with piranhas
    20. It's preferable to have chest hair
    21. It's possible for grown men to love each other without being related or gay
    22. It's difficult to disguise a 6 ft 2 in Scottish male as a Japanese fisherman
  • James Bond is unable to catch a woman when she runs away from him — in high heels — even if he's only seconds behind her.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,865
    CraterGuns wrote: »
    James Bond is unable to catch a woman when she runs away from him — in high heels — even if he's only seconds behind her.

    But then Connery didn't find Japanese women attractive so maybe he wasn't trying too hard? :))
  • Posts: 11,189
    7. Safe crackers are standard equipment for spies in the field.
    8. Blofeld is able to change in size.
    9. Being James Bond and being Japanese don't mix
    10. Bond has a photographic memory.
  • Posts: 1,146
    that it looks cool to have Bond seen on location in japan, as opposed to TND, where Bond really does not go to china.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    edited December 2014 Posts: 5,080
    that it looks cool to have Bond seen on location in japan, as opposed to TND, where Bond really does not go to china.

    Or Skyfall. ;)

  • Guys could we please try to keep these numbered? We're up to #28.
  • pachazopachazo Make Your Choice
    edited December 2014 Posts: 7,314
    29) Ken Adams put his genius on full display here. Don't get me wrong, he was good before. Brilliant even. Doesn't this just take the cake though?
    30) Cats don't fancy loud explosions.
    31) Your face will go completely blank after being stabbed in the back. Is that a poison tipped knife?
    32) It's obvious that Connery doesn't really care anymore. I'll be damned if I still don't like him though.
    33) Blofeld underestimated the ninja's ability of concealment in a country full of them. Mind you, this was after he sent two ninja assassins to eliminate Bond.
    34) Japan is so stunningly beautiful that I don't even mind the film being a travelogue at times.
    35) My favorite moment occurs after Bond is ejected from the submarine. He arrives on the shore and turns to look at the setting sun. It's always seemed like something out of Fleming to me. A man, solitaire, left to his own devices and just taking in the beauty of the moment before he must fulfill his dark obligations.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,334
    36) Vehicle's eating other vehicles is the in for Supervillain plot weekly. ;)
  • I meant #28 as in that's the next number. No harm done though. Murdock's last post was #35.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 6,844
    36. Siam isn't known for its vodka.
    37. Lox is not only delicious but also shorthand for liquid oxygen.
    38. Bond only enjoys oysters for their—err—"medicinal" properties.
    39. Tiger's secret service has closed-circuit cameras EVERYWHERE.
    40. Dare I state the obvious: You only live twice.
    41. If you're intent on initiating World War Three, don't build an exploder button into your control room.
    42. Piranhas make more useful pets than Siamese fighting fish.
    43. What to do on your honeymoon.
    44. Bird never make nest in bare tree.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Merry Christmas fellow MI6 posters! Given this yule tide day I think it's only fitting we discuss what we've learned from the only Bond film to feature the Christmas season as a setting. So with no further adieu…
    What We've Learned from…..On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

    1) George Lazenby might not be Lawrence Olivier but he can rock the hell out of a fight scene.

    2) Q was doing some serious slacking in 1969. "Radioactive Lint and an impractically big safecracker. Not exactly Christmas is it"?.

    3) Tracy will faint over a stranger grabbing her from behind but will perfectly maintain her composer while being hunted, shot at, kidnapped, and chased by an avalanche.

    4) Bond's Aston Martin has special Q-Branch tires that screech on sand.

    5) Orange and Beige clothes never match well.

    6) Bond is a very talkative back-seat passenger.

    7) The best way to treat your suicidal daughter is to fix her up with a hard-drinking, womanizing, playboy spy who lives everyday of his life as if it were his last.

    8) Q-Branch only invented one pocket-sized safecracker that works in a matter of seconds rather than nearly an hour. I guess 008 had it that day.

    9) Blofeld somehow went from a 5'6 stubby European man to a 6 foot burly American.

    10) Bond not only has nothing against using the same pick-up line twice in one night, he encourages it.

    11) Blofeld is a mastermind so perceptive that he is able to pick-up on a minute slip-up to deduce Bond's identity rather than simply recognizing the face of the very man that ruined 4 of his organizations operations in the last 7 years who isn't even wearing a disguise.

    12) How Christmas Trees are grown.

    13) When in doubt, go rogue and team up with the mob.

    14) MI6 has no problem with one of it's top operatives becoming the son-in-law of one of the biggest crime lords in all of Europe.

    15) Peter Hunt is a criminally underrated director.
  • Posts: 940
    chrisisall wrote: »
    It's entirely possible to remove a scuba mask off of a dead man and put it on despite the fact that you're both already underwater.
    It is. Never scuba dived, I take it?
    ;))

    Nope. Never gone although I've always wanted to. Not much to see under the east river.

    I was always under the impression that the point of a scuba mask is to keep water out of your eyes. Even if Connery were The Flash he couldn't swap masks fast enough to avoid water getting in.

    The underwater trick is to tilt your mask up and breathe out with your nose. This gets rid of all water in your mask.


    45. Tanaka must have hired a camera crew plane to take shots of the helicopter dropping the car into in the ocean for the car monitor footage.
    46. Japanese people are fooled easily by bad disguises (a taller larger Bond in an overcoat in the back of the car and Bond turning Japanese).
    47. Animals may well have been harmed in this production. Cats don't like big explosions.
    48. Bond talks about retirement fit the first time. Sean was thinking about retiring from Bond too.
    49. Mr Osato always has spare statues in case someone destroys his office.
    50. Roald Dahl didn't just write children's stories (maybe he should have).
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