Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    slyfox wrote: »
    chrisisall wrote: »
    It's entirely possible to remove a scuba mask off of a dead man and put it on despite the fact that you're both already underwater.
    It is. Never scuba dived, I take it?
    ;))

    Nope. Never gone although I've always wanted to. Not much to see under the east river.

    I was always under the impression that the point of a scuba mask is to keep water out of your eyes. Even if Connery were The Flash he couldn't swap masks fast enough to avoid water getting in.

    The underwater trick is to tilt your mask up and breathe out with your nose. This gets rid of all water in your mask.


    45. Tanaka must have hired a camera crew plane to take shots of the helicopter dropping the car into in the ocean for the car monitor footage.
    46. Japanese people are fooled easily by bad disguises (a taller larger Bond in an overcoat in the back of the car and Bond turning Japanese).
    47. Animals may well have been harmed in this production. Cats don't like big explosions.
    48. Bond talks about retirement fit the first time. Sean was thinking about retiring from Bond too.
    49. Mr Osato always has spare statues in case someone destroys his office.
    50. Roald Dahl didn't just write children's stories (maybe he should have).

    Ah I see. Thanks for correcting me. You learn something new everyday I guess.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    16 "Goldfinger" was a major hit also within the Bond series.
  • JWPepperJWPepper You sit on it, but you can't take it with you.
    edited December 2014 Posts: 512
    Merry Christmas fellow MI6 posters! Given this yule tide day I think it's only fitting we discuss what we've learned from the only Bond film to feature the Christmas season as a setting. So with no further adieu…
    What We've Learned from…..On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

    1) George Lazenby might not be Lawrence Olivier but he can rock the hell out of a fight scene.

    2) Q was doing some serious slacking in 1969. "Radioactive Lint and an impractically big safecracker. Not exactly Christmas is it"?.

    3) Tracy will faint over a stranger grabbing her from behind but will perfectly maintain her composer while being hunted, shot at, kidnapped, and chased by an avalanche.

    4) Bond's Aston Martin has special Q-Branch tires that screech on sand.

    5) Orange and Beige clothes never match well.

    6) Bond is a very talkative back-seat passenger.

    7) The best way to treat your suicidal daughter is to fix her up with a hard-drinking, womanizing, playboy spy who lives everyday of his life as if it were his last.

    8) Q-Branch only invented one pocket-sized safecracker that works in a matter of seconds rather than nearly an hour. I guess 008 had it lent out at the time.

    9) Blofeld somehow went from a 5'6 stubby European man to a 6 foot burly American.

    10) Bond not only has nothing against using the same pick-up line twice in one night, he encourages it.

    11) Blofeld is a mastermind so perceptive that he is able to pick-up on a minute slip-up to deduce Bond's identity rather than simply recognizing the face of the very man who ruined 4 of his organizations operations in the last 7 years and isn't even wearing a disguise.

    12) How Christmas Trees are grown.

    13) When in doubt, go rogue and team up with the mob.

    14) MI6 has no problem with one of it's top operatives becoming the son-in-law of one of the biggest crime lords in all of Europe.

    15) Peter Hunt is a criminally underrated director.

    16. ..... Not to remove flowers from your car when you just married.

    Great thread, BTW.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    17. This never happened to the other fellow.
  • Posts: 11,189
    18. Blofeld has a very limited memory.

    19. Saving women from drowning themselves makes Bond happy.
  • Posts: 1,711
    20-That roll in the hay is one sexy scene.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited December 2014 Posts: 23,883
    21. We really don't have all the time in the world. We all just assume we do.

    22. Joanna Lumley was quite a babe.

    23. The Angels of Death really do exist outside of religion
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,121
    24 It's true.
  • We're to number 26 as 16 was posted twice.

    26) Someone's idea of fun in Piz Gloria on Christmas Eve is to walk around with a giant bear suit and camera terrifying unsuspecting strangers.
  • Posts: 940
    27. Blofeld decorates his Xmas tree very nicely.
    28. Bond knows a thing or two about butterflies.
    29.The night before he proposed to Tracy, Bond planned to bed three different girls, ending his bachelor life with a bang.
  • 30. There are prices far above rubies.
    31. If a pick-up line ain't broke, don't fix it.
    32. When going on a dangerous mission, always wear your pants with the tear-away pockets.
  • slyfox wrote: »
    27. Blofeld decorates his Xmas tree very nicely.
    28. Bond knows a thing or two about butterflies.
    29.The night before he proposed to Tracy, Bond planned to bed three different girls, ending his bachelor life with a bang.

    Three women inside of 3 hours. If Bond was going out, he was going out in a blaze of glory.

    And it wasn't the night before. It was the night of. I wonder if that subject came up during their romantic moment inside the barn.
  • Posts: 1,146
    OHMSS is easily the best directed film until perhaps Casino Royale.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 1,778
    Time to move on to a triple helping of Guy Hamilton.

    Thing's We've Learned From Diamonds Are Forever

    1) An unfortunate rupture in the space-time continuum caused Bond to age 20 years and gain 20 pounds between 1969 and 1971.

    2) The sniper trying to shoot Bond in the Gunbarrel opening prefers a diamond covered rifle.

    3) The man Bond assaulted in the Japanese house was a ventriloquist.

    4) Always bring a gun with you inside to your surgical mud bath.

    5) Being completely submerged in mud won't harm you at all but having the same substance dumped on your head will inexplicably kill you.

    6) Blofeld went from a sinister scarred German man, to an intimating burly American, to an unimposing effeminate Brit who dresses in drag.

    7) Bond is unusually cordial with the man who murdered his wife.

    8) Bond makes a hilarious German guy.

    9) Guy Hamilton still has no idea what American gangsters are like outside of James Cagney movies.

    10) Felix Leiter remains the greatest master of disguise in the history of espionage. Every time he shows up for a new mission you'd swear he was somebody different.

    11) Sean Connery was not bashful about his beer belly.

    12) Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd literally became "flaming homos" by the end of this film.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    edited December 2014 Posts: 7,854
    13. Blofeld and Henderson bear an uncanny resemblance to one another.

    My phone was not cooperating with me this morning. I've had to edit this far too much now.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited December 2014 Posts: 8,121
    14. in the American deserts, you'll find moonbuggy wheels rol around randomly.
    15. In Amsterdam you'll get away with speaking German to pose as a local, not Dutch.
    16. Las Vegas has curious alley's where, if you drive in with the wheels of your car up the one side, you'll end up with your wheels on the other side somehow.
    17. Two karate girls make good enough guards to store away billionaires.
    18. Rats don't smell like old tart's hankerchiefs.
    19. Lasers from space will heat up nuclear warheads stored in bunkers.
    20. Music from British marching bands can be highly dangerous indeed.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    21. The head of a major corporation can go unseen for God knows how long, and nobody cares as long as they hear his voice.
  • Posts: 9,822
    22. If you get thrown out of a window from a very tall building don't worry a small pool that is probably 5 feet deep will somehow save your life
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    23. The gangsters that know exactly where Bond's room is and when he's going to be there didn't know there was a pool down there.
  • 24. The best revenge when you catch your one night stand about to sleep with someone else is steal her keys and go to her house for no reason at all and get killed by two gay assassins. What a way to go.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    25. Bond cares about collars and cuffs matching. ;)

    26. That is the way to write a great theme song and soundtrack.
  • Posts: 1,181
    27. Felix and the CIA aren't as good at keeping an eye on a person at the circus/casino as they thought they were.

    28. Brilliant doctors seem to be some of the most gullible pushovers around.

    29. It's very hard to hide a cassette tape inside the bottom of a bikini without someone noticing it.

    30. If you have an evil operation, you must have a very official sounding guy doing the countdowns.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,340
    31. Flushing mud on someone can kill them.

    32. Connery looks very bored after the main title sequence ends.

    33. Continuity be damned!

    34. When exposed to lasers, you just glow red then burst into flames.

    35. Circus, Circus is a scary place.
  • edited December 2014 Posts: 3,291
    31. Mobster girls working on the fringes of a large diamond smuggling operation suddenly recognise the name of secret agents working for MI6 when looking at a Playboy membership card.

    32. Coffins that are to be cremated take quite a long time to burn, and can suddenly be opened very quickly by hand without burning your fingers during mid-creamation.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    edited December 2014 Posts: 7,854
    31. Mobster girls working on the fringes of a large diamond smuggling operation suddenly recognise the name of secret agents working for MI6 when looking at a Playboy membership card.

    And yet, somehow don't know what that MI6 agent really looks like, despite knowing his name.

    33. Klaus Hergeshimer (or however the hell you spell his name) is such a common name (and in the US, no less!), it's very obvious why Bond would choose it.
  • 34) Moneypenny finds nothing inappropriate about asking a man who's wife was murdered on their wedding day two years ago for a diamond ring.
  • JWPepperJWPepper You sit on it, but you can't take it with you.
    Posts: 512
    31. Mobster girls working on the fringes of a large diamond smuggling operation suddenly recognise the name of secret agents working for MI6 when looking at a Playboy membership card.

    And yet, somehow don't know what that MI6 agent really looks like, despite knowing his name.

    33. Klaus Hergeshimer (or however the hell you spell his name) is such a common name (and in the US, no less!), it's very obvious why Bond would choose it.

    Huh? He did meet Klaus Hergesheimer to get in and read his access-card(pass).
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    35 Elephants enjoy playing slot machines.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    36. Dead bodies can be mistaken for wigs in a swimming pool.
    37. Moneypenny looks hot in border control uniform.
    38. Mr White back then was a good guy.
  • TokolosheTokoloshe Under your bed
    Posts: 2,667
    39. How to make yourself look like two people snogging.
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