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BlofeldCatCapCon - Oh the Power...Part Deux

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  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    'Blofelds cat, on deciding who the winner should be for this round, was having food for thought'
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    These are hilarious - but time has gone by - so please note I am judging in 24 hours, so get your last laughs in now! :D

    Thanks to all!
  • saunderssaunders Living in a world of avarice and deceit
    Posts: 987


    th?id=H.4879113913371663&pid=15.1

    Lego launch 'Blofeld's cat' as the first of their 'Lego Bond' range.



  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    saunders wrote:

    th?id=H.4879113913371663&pid=15.1

    Lego launch 'Blofeld's cat' as the first of their 'Lego Bond' range.



    There is something just so right about that
    Well done sir.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    And welcome back, @Saunders! Haven't seen you around lately. Thanks for joining us in this purrfectly silly and fun contest.

    I must say people are so creative; this is quite entertaining. I will be judging when I get home tonight ... so in about 12 hours. ;)
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited May 2013 Posts: 12,459
    Meow! Judging time is here -
    Difficult decisions, but here I go:

    3rd Place - @QBranch with: "Oddjob's cat was a lousy caddy, but boy could he decapitate a dog statue!" Yes, he is a mini-Oddjob, that kitty!

    2nd Place - @CommanderRoss with : "When Blofeld's cat ordered a new outfit 'with all the bells and whistles on', something got lost in translation." I love the lost in translation. Both your entries were great.

    Winner this round: @Sandy with:
    At the request of Tiger Tanaka, Zen master Kiti-san began to teach James Bond how to pass as a Japanese:
    "That's it Mr. Bond, just keep your eyes closed like this, until you can hardly see. Good work! Next step will be the hair. Very tricky business! You need to place a bowl on top of your head just like I'm showing you and sit very still while I cut. I just had my nails sharpened especially for this, you know?"
    Bond suddenly turned to Tanaka and said:
    "I think I'll go with the prosthetics after all."

    I could just picture this purrfectly, Sandy! Hilarious. Good work, and over to you now ...

    Thanks and Honorable Mention to everybody else for making me laugh so much ~
  • SandySandy Somewhere in Europe
    Posts: 4,012
    A true honour, thank you @4EverBonded! There were some brilliant entries this time, congratulations and thank you everyone for giving me such good laughs.

    Let's see what people come up with this one:

    QU85W.jpg
  • SoundofthesinnersSoundofthesinners
    Posts: 3,236
    Tanya's cat attempted to imitate her mistress's feat of seduction with 007, but her appearance in Bond's flat was not quite as successful.
  • X3MSonicXX3MSonicX https://www.behance.net/gallery/86760163/Fa-Posteres-de-007-No-Time-To-Die
    Posts: 2,635
    "...Thanks, Tiddles... But i think that my tail it's too big."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited May 2013 Posts: 28,694
    After Blofeld's more straightforward plans for Bond's demise failed him, he got creative and had an agent of his named Buttercup go to Bond's flat to give him a surprise. Unfortunately, when Blofeld commanded Buttercup to make the performance cinematic, the kitty misunderstood his orders and instead made an effort to reenact the famous seduction scene from 1967's 'The Graduate.'

    *Bond arrives at his flat after a night of gambling at Blades and finds Blofeld's cat waiting for him*

    Buttercup: "It's about time, Bond. You mustn't keep a lady waiting."

    Bond: "I thought I smelled catnip and the slightest whiff of urine."

    Buttercup: "Apologies, Bond; you must understand. I have been waiting here for at least two hours and since you lack a litter box I had to make quick work of your kitchen rugs when nature called. No worries; a wash or six should get the stink out. But enough about me, let's talk about...us!"

    [Buttercup raises her left leg high upon the end of Bond's bed]

    Bond: "You're trying to seduce me."

    Buttercup: "Oh, James...you know me so well."

    Bond: "I know you well enough. You work for Blofeld, no doubt, and this is just another one of his half-baked plots to terminate me. This is quite a rarity considering my track record, but this night I shall decline on this particular offer of pussy."

    Buttercup: "Such a shame...I even dolled myself up for the occasion. This pussy doesn't excite you even a little, Bond?"

    Bond: "Not in the slightest. I prefer them to be shaved, myself."

    Buttercup [pulls out gun]: "Oh, you needn't worry about that. It shall be a very close shave for you, Bond!"

    [Buttercup shoots, but Bond rolls, barely dodging the bullet. He then rapidly pulls out his PPK and shoots the kitty dead]

    Bond [standing over the corpse]: "Missed by a whisker..."

    [Scene]
  • saunderssaunders Living in a world of avarice and deceit
    Posts: 987


    QU85W.jpg

    "Tell Blofeld I won't be in work today, it still feels as if I've got Connery's boot wedged half way up my backside!"

  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,506
    Sandy wrote:
    A true honour, thank you @4EverBonded! There were some brilliant entries this time, congratulations and thank you everyone for giving me such good laughs.

    Let's see what people come up with this one:

    QU85W.jpg

    Cat that has most definitely had the 007 cream! ;)
  • SandySandy Somewhere in Europe
    Posts: 4,012
    I knew this photo would provide food for thought. Keep them coming folks ;)
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    Oh my, this picture is adorable actually! Ha!
    I can't think straight having read all of the above and am still holding my sides laughing ... ok here is my entry:

    Bond (upon entering Blofeld's penthouse): "Hmmm. Weren't you just a Siamese when I saw you slinking around the lobby a moment ago?"

    Miss Kitty Case (purring): "Maybe. But which do you prefer?"

    Bond (shrugs, with a wry smile): "As long as the collars and cuffs match ..."

    Miss Kitty Case (places leg on bed post): "As you can see, mine do. By the way, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

    Bond (whips out his Walther PPK and points, but doesn't shoot): "Oh, it's a gun. Fun time is over, Miss Case. I knew you weren't the innocent pussy when I saw you talking to yourself downstairs. Here's a tip: Next time, don't touch your ear."

    Miss Kitty Case (sits up and begins washing herself, as charmingly and discreetly as only a cat can, legs splayed, etc. ... ): "Drat. Well, let me just freshen up. I'm cooperating, Mr. Bond, really I am."

    Bond: "Of course you are." Bond opens the door further allowing a jaunty English bulldog in. The dog is wearing a union jack sweater and an obvious earpiece.
    "Here you go, Tanner - your first field assignment. Don't cock it up."

    Tanner: "Woof!"

    Bond exits, sighing: "The things we do for England."



  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited May 2013 Posts: 7,981
    QU85W.jpg
    Blofeld's version of the game 'cat's in the cradle' was definately different from the version Bond remembered from his childhood.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited May 2013 Posts: 13,966
    "Is there time before we dine- for lesson number nine?"
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    BUMP
  • SandySandy Somewhere in Europe
    Posts: 4,012
    I'm giving you a few more hours to give your best shot before I decide.

    Don't worry @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 it wasn't forgotten ;)
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    I do love this photo, Sandy. It's hilarious.
  • SandySandy Somewhere in Europe
    Posts: 4,012
    No more last minute entries? Last opportunity!
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,966
    Feline-a Volpe: "You don't really work for Universal Exports, do you Mr. Bond, James Bond? This is an old friend of mine. (points to nose) And it tells me something smells."

    Bond: "Not that it matters, but there was a red herring under the pillow the whole time."
  • saunderssaunders Living in a world of avarice and deceit
    Posts: 987
    QU85W.jpg

    "Ugh, that's the last time I go on a Siamese fighting fish bender!"

  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    These are funny!
  • SandySandy Somewhere in Europe
    Posts: 4,012
    OK, time to judge! Thank you for all these hilarious entries, it was a pleasure to judge but incredibly difficult.

    Here is the pic again
    QU85W.jpg

    3rd place for the great final entry by @Saunders
    saunders wrote:
    "Ugh, that's the last time I go on a Siamese fighting fish bender!"

    2nd place for the lovely entry by @4EverBonded
    4EverBonded wrote:
    Oh my, this picture is adorable actually! Ha!
    I can't think straight having read all of the above and am still holding my sides laughing ... ok here is my entry:

    Bond (upon entering Blofeld's penthouse): "Hmmm. Weren't you just a Siamese when I saw you slinking around the lobby a moment ago?"

    Miss Kitty Case (purring): "Maybe. But which do you prefer?"

    Bond (shrugs, with a wry smile): "As long as the collars and cuffs match ..."

    Miss Kitty Case (places leg on bed post): "As you can see, mine do. By the way, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

    Bond (whips out his Walther PPK and points, but doesn't shoot): "Oh, it's a gun. Fun time is over, Miss Case. I knew you weren't the innocent pussy when I saw you talking to yourself downstairs. Here's a tip: Next time, don't touch your ear."

    Miss Kitty Case (sits up and begins washing herself, as charmingly and discreetly as only a cat can, legs splayed, etc. ... ): "Drat. Well, let me just freshen up. I'm cooperating, Mr. Bond, really I am."

    Bond: "Of course you are." Bond opens the door further allowing a jaunty English bulldog in. The dog is wearing a union jack sweater and an obvious earpiece.
    "Here you go, Tanner - your first field assignment. Don't cock it up."

    Tanner: "Woof!"

    Bond exits, sighing: "The things we do for England."

    But that is not all, ex aequo in 2nd place comes @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 with this delicious (slightly politically incorrect) entry
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    After Blofeld's more straightforward plans for Bond's demise failed him, he got creative and had an agent of his named Buttercup go to Bond's flat to give him a surprise. Unfortunately, when Blofeld commanded Buttercup to make the performance cinematic, the kitty misunderstood his orders and instead made an effort to reenact the famous seduction scene from 1967's 'The Graduate.'

    *Bond arrives at his flat after a night of gambling at Blades and finds Blofeld's cat waiting for him*

    Buttercup: "It's about time, Bond. You mustn't keep a lady waiting."

    Bond: "I thought I smelled catnip and the slightest whiff of urine."

    Buttercup: "Apologies, Bond; you must understand. I have been waiting here for at least two hours and since you lack a litter box I had to make quick work of your kitchen rugs when nature called. No worries; a wash or six should get the stink out. But enough about me, let's talk about...us!"

    [Buttercup raises her left leg high upon the end of Bond's bed]

    Bond: "You're trying to seduce me."

    Buttercup: "Oh, James...you know me so well."

    Bond: "I know you well enough. You work for Blofeld, no doubt, and this is just another one of his half-baked plots to terminate me. This is quite a rarity considering my track record, but this night I shall decline on this particular offer of pussy."

    Buttercup: "Such a shame...I even dolled myself up for the occasion. This pussy doesn't excite you even a little, Bond?"

    Bond: "Not in the slightest. I prefer them to be shaved, myself."

    Buttercup [pulls out gun]: "Oh, you needn't worry about that. It shall be a very close shave for you, Bond!"

    [Buttercup shoots, but Bond rolls, barely dodging the bullet. He then rapidly pulls out his PPK and shoots the kitty dead]

    Bond [standing over the corpse]: "Missed by a whisker..."

    [Scene]

    But the highest place in the podium is reserved for a simple yet effective entry by @CommanderRoss
    CommanderRoss wrote:
    Blofeld's version of the game 'cat's in the cradle' was definately different from the version Bond remembered from his childhood.

    Congratulations to all people who managed to come up with terribly funny entries and especially @CommanderRoss, now it's your turn.

  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    Great! Congratulations, CommanderRoss!
    Thanks again, Sandy; that was an outstanding picture.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited May 2013 Posts: 7,981
    Sank you, sank you, there will be a picture up shortly..


    Edit:


    And here we go, let's see what you people can make of this one;
    Cute_white_cat_in_a_snow.png
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,966
    Alice: "Reveal yourself at once, Cheshire Cat!"
  • saunderssaunders Living in a world of avarice and deceit
    Posts: 987
    "Hey look at me, I'm sticking my head out the window of Bond's invisible car."
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    Both of those new entries are hilarious!

    I'll start with ...


    As a longtime Christopher Nolan fan (and secret James Bond fan), Missy Tiddles was purrrrfectly excited to get a small role in Inception. She had no idea that she would be asked to play a frigid snow maiden so literally. While watching Leonardo and Ken ski majestically away while she turned into a catsicle, all she could think was, "This never happened to the other Pussy." Thinking of Sean in the hay helped her get through this ordeal and the subsequent frostbite - but, alas, her final snow melting scenes with the snow leopard ended up on the cutting room floor.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    "When Blofeld's cat noticed the sun glimmering off of a sniper scope aimed in his direction he realized his view to a kill just got real."
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