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BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

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  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,331
    There'sh nu wood, like Shean's Wood!
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    "You shee, the way her mouth ish tilted, it'sh a perfect angle for me to give her a big load of my...

    ...

    ...whishkey."
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited December 2013 Posts: 12,459
    WillyGalore wrote:
    Next round. Good luck to all participants.

    Connery2WI_468x592.jpg

    EDIT: Thanks to @QBranch for pointing this one out. I think this round deserves a second photo

    the.church.of.sean.connerys.penis

    1st photo: Sean, muttering to himself: "Always trying to one up each other... Okay, who's the wise-ass who sent this backstage?" Looks at the tag on the sculpture and reads: "For your eyes and lips only," "Ah ha!"
    2nd photo: He whips around and looks piercingly at the people milling about, and spies:
    "Moore! I knew it! You just can't let go of that old woodpecker joke I made at your birthday party, can you?" (Moore is heard laughing and giggling in the crowd.) Sean saunters offstage, swinging the sculpture like a golf club. "Just remember: paybacks are hell, Rog."
    Moore exits out the front, on the arm of two lovely ladies: "Never say never again, Sean! And first ... dig two graves ..."
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    After nobody recognized him at such an age, Sean lost the best for "Most women picked up in a bar in one hour" and had to carry around the only woman who hadn't denied him: the wooden ashtray located outside the bar.
  • SoundofthesinnersSoundofthesinners
    Posts: 3,236
    Some woman: "So, what a big piece of wood you have."

    Shir Sean: "Wait 'til you get to my pants!"
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    A wood carved version of Connery's penis, accurately portrayed and well done by one of his fans (somehow...).
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,944
    "Auric Goldtimber? Shounds like a French wood varnish."
  • karatemanchan37karatemanchan37
    Posts: 584
    "Sean, that's not an Oscar..."
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    You're all making this very difficult for me. It's not going to be easy picking a winner from all this lot. I'll judge these on Monday/Tuesday.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    "Shome kid ashked me to hold thish as he ran away giggling. I don't undershtand why everyone ish laughing at me now..."
  • SoundofthesinnersSoundofthesinners
    Posts: 3,236
    Sir Sean had to pretend to look happy with his new award, even though he had already owned a more impressive copy for his entire life.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited December 2013 Posts: 13,944
    (Connery and Kim Basinger re-enacting Domino and Largo's final scene together in NSNA)

    Largo: "This belonged to Napoleon's empress. It is my greatest treasure. Take it. Take it. But be careful. That is your... wedding present."

    Domino (trying not to look at grotesque sculpture): "You're crazy. I hate you."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited December 2013 Posts: 28,694
    Sean Connery bought this wooden Native American totem to act as his newest wingman while hitting all the bars and nightclubs around the Bahamas.

    [Inside one of the aforementioned bars and/or nightclubs around the Bahamas]

    Female specimen #1: "Wow, is that Sean Connery?!"

    Female specimen #2: "Oh my God, I think it actually is. Flash your cleavage and see if he'll come over here."

    Female specimen #1: "It's working, it's working! Wait...what the hell is that in his arm?"

    Female specimen #2: "It looks like a hunk of wood..."

    Sean: "Hello ladiesh. I couldn't help but admire your...form while shipping on my martini from acrossh the bar."

    Female specimen #1: "What's that you're carrying?"

    Sean: "What'sh thish old thing, you ashk? Well, wooden't you like to know? Care to inshpect it with me from the privacy of my hotel room?"

    Female specimens [in unison]: "Yes, Mr. Connery!"

    Sean: "Pleash my darlingsh, jusht call me "Big Daddy."

  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    edited December 2013 Posts: 6,396
    Voting time folks. Some really funny entries. These are my top three:

    3rd Place is @QBranch:
    QBranch wrote:
    Photographer: "Hey Sean, you could call it 'Holly Woodhead'... and take it around the world one more time!" :))

    Connery (thinking to himself): I'm not taking this bloody thing anywhere. Not even back home.

    2nd Place is @Creasy47:
    Creasy47 wrote:
    "I shall call her...Shtacy."

    and the Winner this week is @Samuel001 with these:
    Samuel001 wrote:
    You now know why Pussy Galore turned sides, even she couldn't resist that.
    Samuel001 wrote:
    Connery with his magic penis.

    Congratulations to @Samuel001 and I look forward to your photo next.

  • Samuel001Samuel001 Moderator
    edited December 2013 Posts: 13,350
    Thnak you. My submissions were the obvious comments always made towards that picture and posted them more for everyone else than to enter the contest. I thought they'd be easy to pick up on. Once you've heard them one is unable to look at that picture in the same light again! Thank you anyway, most kind.

    Daniel-Craig-Funny-Googles-Graphic.jpg

    Go!
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    Daniel: "Th...this is the audition room for 'Mamma Mia 2' right?"
    Taran: "No, but this is the audition room for my fantasy."
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,894
    Other fella: I'm a bit starry-eyed, you?
    Craig: Er... no.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    "Err Daniel, I'm not sure Sir Elton will see the funny side to this when we go and meet him"
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    "Am I a diva now? No? *applies glasses* how about now??!"
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    It was nice to see Dennis Taylor's love child again after all these years.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,490
    Daniel: "I'm going for a more masculine look: does the jacket make me look too feminine?"

    Taran: "Oh, the jacket, n-not the, umm...the glas-yeah, the jacket doesn't help. Ditch it."
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,331
    Daniel: Do I look like I want Roger Moore's sunglasses from A View to a Kill?
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Q's original prototype design for his X-Ray specs was not appreciated by everyone it seems.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Guy on the left: "Where's Matthew Kelly when you need him?"
  • SaintMarkSaintMark
    Posts: 7,653
    DC: I am a Rocket Man............
    2nd bloke: Ah we're getting the long awaited sequel to Moonraker.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,944
    It was only after switching on the shrink ray glasses that Bond realized Q had accidentally reversed the polarity.
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,506
    Samuel001 wrote:
    Thnak you. My submissions were the obvious comments always made towards that picture and posted them more for everyone else than to enter the contest. I thought they'd be easy to pick up on. Once you've heard them one is unable to look at that picture in the same light again! Thank you anyway, most kind.

    Daniel-Craig-Funny-Googles-Graphic.jpg

    Go!

    Other bloke: Don't stress it Dan! You already have a great dream role!

    DC: That's not the F****** point! I have always wanted to be Elton John!!! ~X(
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Murdock wrote:
    Daniel: Do I look like I want Roger Moore's sunglasses from A View to a Kill?

    :))

    After much experimentation, they finally felt that their secret identities were safe.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,459
    Daniel went to what he thought was the new Dr. Who casting call, hoping to not be recognized. He did wonder why Dr. Who would be casting in L.A., but didn't give it a second thought in his excitement.
    And he should have. It was all a mistake, as he and his friend found themselves auditioning for new reboot of the U.S. tv show, That 70's Show. He was instantly hired, but decided to tactfully withdraw, leaving his Elton glasses behind.
  • Samuel001Samuel001 Moderator
    Posts: 13,350
    I have my favourite so far, let's see if anyone can beat it by Sunday.
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