The most ineffective henchman in a Bond film!

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  • OligarchOligarch Banned
    Posts: 110
    IMO, Stamper in TND played by Götz Otto felt like a cardboard,bland out of place character. I feel he was not menacing enough and more or less looked like a innocent male model, rather than a actual henchman to a super villain. None the less TND was a terrible film, the only bright side was the introduction of David Arnold.
  • Samuel001Samuel001 Moderator
    Posts: 13,323
    00Beast wrote:
    Haha! Vlad's death, on the other hand, is the most laughable death of any henchman in the whole series!

    How did Vlad die? I seem to have forgotten :)

    Sucked out of the plan Goldfinger-style.
  • cwl007cwl007 England
    Posts: 595
    Vargas . Poorly written part. He is introduced by Largo with the "doesn't drink, doesn't smoke" guff, " as if he is going to be great. "what do you do Vargas" Well nothing actually, just skulk around looking shifty and then get harpooned.
  • Anybody who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, or doesn't make love, sounds pretty mundane from my perspective. What kind of an existence is that ? Ok, it's only a movie, but I haven't seen Thunderball for some time, but I remember the character well enough, and Yes, he was pretty banal. Who was the other one that got fed to Largo's sharks ? Another character that didn't offer much that I recall. I thought Volpe was maybe the best villain that year, but may need to have another watch sometime soon
  • Posts: 4,746
    Samuel001 wrote:
    00Beast wrote:
    Haha! Vlad's death, on the other hand, is the most laughable death of any henchman in the whole series!

    How did Vlad die? I seem to have forgotten :)

    Sucked out of the plan Goldfinger-style.

    One of Graves' Korean thugs knocked Bond's gun arm to the side so that he would misfire and not hit Graves, and in the process, caused Bond's bullet to blow out one of the windows and depressurize the plane, which in turn, caused Vlad to be the lucky contestant to be sucked out first!
  • Vargas should've been portrayed as a psycho dedicated to his job who didn't have time fr anything else. Instead they just say he doesn't drink, smoke or shag then he does nothing the whole film.

    While I wouldn't call him the worst he was pretty crap.
  • Posts: 13,660
    Anybody who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, or doesn't make love, sounds pretty mundane from my perspective. What kind of an existence is that ? Ok, it's only a movie, but I haven't seen Thunderball for some time, but I remember the character well enough, and Yes, he was pretty banal. Who was the other one that got fed to Largo's sharks ? Another character that didn't offer much that I recall. I thought Volpe was maybe the best villain that year, but may need to have another watch sometime soon

    The guy who got fed by the sharks was meant to be a weak henchman, mainly to show Largo's cruelty. He had a great death anyway. Vargas did not need to do much, his introduction and his mere presence were enough IMO. And it was a great introduction: a man who seems to take no pleasure in life whatsoever, a perfect puritan, is pretty creepy.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Hmm on the Elvis scale of crap where does Vargas come?

    Does nothing really. His only moment of threat comes the second before he dies when he is aiming a gun at Bond, but then the same could be argued for Elvis.

    However isn't Vargas one of the guys who breaks in and throws Paula on the bed? That edges him ahead of Elvis who is only able to get himself tripped down a flight of stairs by the sacrificial lamb of the film.
  • doubleoegodoubleoego #LightWork
    Posts: 11,098
    Not a henchman but Carter, Bond's colleague from CR was the epitome of moronic.
  • edited January 2013 Posts: 1,310
    Hmm on the Elvis scale of crap where does Vargas come?

    Does nothing really. His only moment of threat comes the second before he dies when he is aiming a gun at Bond, but then the same could be argued for Elvis.

    However isn't Vargas one of the guys who breaks in and throws Paula on the bed? That edges him ahead of Elvis who is only able to get himself tripped down a flight of stairs by the sacrificial lamb of the film.
    And Vargas' death leads to a fairly cheesy, but well delivered line from Sir Sean which would also put him above Elvis in my book. ;)
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 I've missed you all.
    Posts: 28,470
    SJK91 wrote:
    Hmm on the Elvis scale of crap where does Vargas come?

    Does nothing really. His only moment of threat comes the second before he dies when he is aiming a gun at Bond, but then the same could be argued for Elvis.

    However isn't Vargas one of the guys who breaks in and throws Paula on the bed? That edges him ahead of Elvis who is only able to get himself tripped down a flight of stairs by the sacrificial lamb of the film.
    And Vargas' death leads to a fairly cheesy, but well delivered line from Sir Sean which would also put him above Elvis in my book. ;)

    Well, Bond wasn't even around when Elvis left the building, so there wasn't even a chance of a one-liner coming. Kinda unfair, eh?
  • Posts: 4,746
    Vargas should've been portrayed as a psycho dedicated to his job who didn't have time fr anything else. Instead they just say he doesn't drink, smoke or shag then he does nothing the whole film.

    While I wouldn't call him the worst he was pretty crap.

    Quite pathetic for sure! The most he did was chuck grenades into the water to try and kill 007 under the Disco Volante, but even that completely failed, and the most damage he and his comrades did was clip Bond's diving pack with their motorboat propeller!
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 I've missed you all.
    edited January 2013 Posts: 28,470
    Anyone doubting Elvis's title as an effective and crucial henchman in the Bond series only has to look at his meaty 007 wiki page!

    http://jamesbond.wikia.com/wiki/Elvis


    *cough*


    :-\"
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    00Beast wrote:
    Vargas should've been portrayed as a psycho dedicated to his job who didn't have time fr anything else. Instead they just say he doesn't drink, smoke or shag then he does nothing the whole film.

    While I wouldn't call him the worst he was pretty crap.

    Quite pathetic for sure! The most he did was chuck grenades into the water to try and kill 007 under the Disco Volante, but even that completely failed, and the most damage he and his comrades did was clip Bond's diving pack with their motorboat propeller!

    I apologise Mr Vargas. I forgot about your grenade throwing. You are light years above Elvis.
    Anyone doubting Elvis's title as an effective and crucial henchman in the Bond series only has to look at his meaty 007 wiki page!

    http://jamesbond.wikia.com/wiki/Elvis


    *cough*


    :-\"

    The 'film biography' tab makes particularly amusing reading!

    We should stop really this is like shooting fish in a barrel, something ironically Elvis would struggle with no doubt.
  • Posts: 13,660
    In the novel, didn't Vargas cut the throat of Commander Angelo Petachi? He was meant to be much more dagerous. But I think he is getting a bad rap for his role in the movie TB. Yes, he is one step above the nameless black shirts that are SPECTRE's minion, but he is still Largo's right hand hand man. He is pictured as Largo as a puritan but trusted henchman. Of course he didn't murder Bond, but he was relentless hunting him down and his action indirectly caused the death of Paula.
  • I was going to mention Kronsteen, but don't know if he truly deserves to be mentioned alongside all these other ineffective names and villains. I mean, I haven't seen From Russia With Love for a while now, but remember full well he just didn't get up to much. Even Number One had him killed off towards the end for his all round ineptitude. If he had been as effective as his chess strategies..

    Got to mention Hans again, You Only Live Twice - what a waste of a screen presence. And that fight with Connery at the volcano base - very short lived and disappointing. They could of done so much better with the character

    People will mention Kidd and Wint. Yes they were a bit incompetent, but they generated so much humor and fun, I can't really say a bad word against them

    Add to that, (in the direct above), Herve Villechaize from Golden Gun

    I thought Scarpine and Karl Mortner were good villains, but could of been used a bit more in View to a Kill also. Another wasted opportunity I feel
  • Wasn't there a henchman in CR who was pretty lame? Ends up dead in a trunk I think. The problem is, as the lead villains get younger and leaner, the henchman become even more insipid.

    The blond assassin in FYEO is a bit dull, plus we see he's a crack shot but then oddly misses Bond, repeatedly, when he's a sitting duck. I hate that kind of movie making.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Wasn't there a henchman in CR who was pretty lame? Ends up dead in a trunk I think. The problem is, as the lead villains get younger and leaner, the henchman become even more insipid.

    The blond assassin in FYEO is a bit dull, plus we see he's a crack shot but then oddly misses Bond, repeatedly, when he's a sitting duck. I hate that kind of movie making.

    Yeah Kriegler is pretty pathetic in that scene and rather bland all round. Not to mention his death scene is also quite inept.
    But at least he 'takes a bloody shot'. Elvis doesnt get one round off in the entire film.

  • Samuel001Samuel001 Moderator
    Posts: 13,323
    Stamper's also very bland in my opinion. Henchman wise, I don't think we've had a really good one since Dario or Gobinda.
  • edited January 2013 Posts: 512
    I thought May Day was cracking, but everyone hates her because of the bedroom scene I guess...

    In SF I'd hoped for an assassin/henchman like Jude Law in Road to Perdition... there is a brilliant set-piece involving him and a botched attempt if I recall, also the bit where Newman is cornered at night and all his henchmen taken out. Fantastic stuff, but nothing as good as that in Skyfall imo.
  • Posts: 2,341
    Truman Lodge was worthless

    Sandor got beated up by Roger Moore

    Jaws in MR
  • Posts: 7,652
    I thought May Day was cracking, but everyone hates her because of the bedroom scene I guess...

    She worked very well because she was so creepy, and there is no hate for the bedroomscene but great respect for Sir Roger Moore who should have gotten an Oscar for that particular scene. ;)

  • Samuel001 wrote:
    Stamper's also very bland in my opinion. Henchman wise, I don't think we've had a really good one since Dario or Gobinda.

    I really liked Onnatop although maybe you can't count her.
  • Posts: 13,660
    I was going to mention Kronsteen, but don't know if he truly deserves to be mentioned alongside all these other ineffective names and villains. I mean, I haven't seen From Russia With Love for a while now, but remember full well he just didn't get up to much. Even Number One had him killed off towards the end for his all round ineptitude. If he had been as effective as his chess strategies..

    Got to mention Hans again, You Only Live Twice - what a waste of a screen presence. And that fight with Connery at the volcano base - very short lived and disappointing. They could of done so much better with the character

    People will mention Kidd and Wint. Yes they were a bit incompetent, but they generated so much humor and fun, I can't really say a bad word against them

    Add to that, (in the direct above), Herve Villechaize from Golden Gun

    I thought Scarpine and Karl Mortner were good villains, but could of been used a bit more in View to a Kill also. Another wasted opportunity I feel

    Kronsteen was great. He didn't need to pull any trigger or go into a fist fight, he had a great plan that nearly worked! He was killed because SPECTRE is a perfectionist organization, but through no fault of his own. Hans however, I will agree with you, he was not very good, all he did was look mean and then go into a fist fight with Bond, as a poor man's Oddjob/Grant.

    I dislike DAF, strongly, but I have to admit Kidd and Wint were very efficient henchmen: how many people did they kill in the movie? And this is not counting how close they got to kill Bond himself.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Ludovico wrote:
    I dislike DAF, strongly, but I have to admit Kidd and Wint were very efficient henchmen: how many people did they kill in the movie? And this is not counting how close they got to kill Bond himself.

    How good are they really though?

    1st kill - a middle aged man in the middle of the desert with no risk of any witnesses so long as they do it before the chopper turns up.

    2nd kill - a 75 year old woman. How she must have put up a fight.

    3rd kill - a 70 year old bloke who looks like one more cigarette away from coughing himself to death anyway.

    4th kill - a young girl (if we are to assume it is them who kill Plenty - its never confirmed).

    And remember throughout all these difficult hits they outnumber their victims 2 to 1 - a luxury none of the other henchman have.

    And then we come to their efforts on Bond:

    1st fail - OK I know its not their fault that Shady Tree saves Bond but they could have easily made sure he was dead before they burned him.

    2nd fail - OK I know its not their fault the maintenance blokes saved Bond but they could have easily made sure he was dead before they buried him.

    3rd fail - Now it is their fault that Bond torched one of them and the other got blown up. Just walk in and then pull a shotgun from under the trolley and splatter him across the room.

    No Wint and Kidd are entertaining enough but for efficiency they are not up to much. I dont think any other henchmen have had Bond at their mercy so often and still failed to do the business.
  • Posts: 13,660
    Ludovico wrote:
    I dislike DAF, strongly, but I have to admit Kidd and Wint were very efficient henchmen: how many people did they kill in the movie? And this is not counting how close they got to kill Bond himself.

    How good are they really though?

    1st kill - a middle aged man in the middle of the desert with no risk of any witnesses so long as they do it before the chopper turns up.

    2nd kill - a 75 year old woman. How she must have put up a fight.

    3rd kill - a 70 year old bloke who looks like one more cigarette away from coughing himself to death anyway.

    4th kill - a young girl (if we are to assume it is them who kill Plenty - its never confirmed).

    And remember throughout all these difficult hits they outnumber their victims 2 to 1 - a luxury none of the other henchman have.

    And then we come to their efforts on Bond:

    1st fail - OK I know its not their fault that Shady Tree saves Bond but they could have easily made sure he was dead before they burned him.

    2nd fail - OK I know its not their fault the maintenance blokes saved Bond but they could have easily made sure he was dead before they buried him.

    3rd fail - Now it is their fault that Bond torched one of them and the other got blown up. Just walk in and then pull a shotgun from under the trolley and splatter him across the room.

    No Wint and Kidd are entertaining enough but for efficiency they are not up to much. I dont think any other henchmen have had Bond at their mercy so often and still failed to do the business.

    Seeing it like that, it is true they are not so good, nothing outstanding at least. I will not defend DAF anyway, I really disliked the movie. That said, they still killed a lot of people in cold blood, easy targets maybe, but they still need to be killed. I wouldn't say they were much of a physical for a 00, but they were moderately reliable killers.
  • Posts: 12,349
    Would have to say Elvis from QOS! Enough said! :))
  • Posts: 499
    Elvis was at least funny. I'd rank him above Patrice (who?)
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    I got a good laugh from the suggestion that Elvis is Greene's (possibly mentally challenged) cousin!
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 36,349
    Elvis from QoS, no question. All of his screentime is spent in humiliation, especially his death scene. He accomplishes nothing.
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