The most ineffective henchman in a Bond film!



  • edited November 2021 Posts: 499
    I just want to say that I love Dr. Mortner! The irony behind him is what's funny.

    You'd expect him to be the straight-man to balance out Zorin's craziness. He'd be the typical boring grumbly balding old white businessman.

    But then you find out that he's equally as stupid and ridiculous. And that point, I realized, anything goes in AVTAK; everyone in this film is stupid: no exceptions.

    I rewinded the quick 2 second scene of Mortner's reaction as he's about to die from the dynamite, he's laughing, dancing a bit and wagging his finger and saying "nananana".
  • VenutiusVenutius Yorkshire
    edited November 2021 Posts: 1,064
    Has to be Elvis - he was useless and didn't even know it. Haven't we all encountered some halfwit who had an inflated sense of his own abilities because he was shielded by having a hard mate or was best buds with the boss? That's Elvis to a tee. Elvis was so useless that Greene even had to lift his arm for him and point his gun in Bond's direction. That really is useless, no? Funny, too. I liked Elvis.
  • edited November 2021 Posts: 1,061
    Vargas from Thunderball, it has to be.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 20,659
    Elvis, handsdown. The man does nothing. Vargas still aids in capturing Bond. He does at least that. I don't like Dr Mortner very much; the character is ridiculous and cartoonish but at least he makes himself somewhat useful to Zorin.
  • marcmarc Universal Exports
    edited November 2021 Posts: 1,928
    M16_Cart wrote: »
    I just want to say that I love Dr. Mortner!

    Like him a lot, too; one of my favourite co-villains.
  • Posts: 499
    Ok, Elvis is useless. However, I don't think he detracts from QoS. If anything, he's a comic relief for an otherwise dark film.

    And he takes up so little screentime (most of his scenes, he's in the background of other character's scenes); that even if he were a bad henchman, its not consequential.

    It would be 1 thing if he took up a lot of time and didn't do anything interest.

    But he had no more than like 1-2 minutes of screentime for himself; I wouldn't set too high expectations for that.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 12,045
    To be fair, Elvis only got the position of henchman because he's Greene's cousin.

    It's not like he lied in an interview to get the job.
  • goldenswissroyalegoldenswissroyale Switzerland
    Posts: 3,327
    I've read before that Elvis and Greene are related. Is this also mentioned in the film? I can't remember such a dialogue.
  • VenutiusVenutius Yorkshire
    edited November 2021 Posts: 1,064
    The actor who played Elvis said something about having the idea that Elvis was Greene's cousin and that after Greene started to get money and power, he went back and saved Elvis from the streets and that's why Elvis is so loyal to him. Not sure if the actor just made it up to boost his own motivation or if he thrashed it out with Amalric and/or Forster. It works, though - explains why Greene keeps him around, even though he gets exasperated with him and Elvis is totally inept.
    That backstory would also add to the extent of Greene's ruthlessness and backstabbing in that Elvis may be his only family, but Greene plants him between himself and Bond when trying to escape the fire at the end. Greene knows Elvis will die, but he gives him up without hesitation if it means that Bond will be delayed just long enough for Greene to escape. Elvis doesn't at all detract from QOS for me - like MI6_Cart said, he's a bit of comic relief (the name, the ludicrously over-inflated sense of his own importance, the cackhanded fails, the skewed wig, Greene having to lift Elvis's arm and point his gun in Bond's direction). It's true that Elvis doesn't do anything - but that's sort of the point: he's actually intended to be useless and a bit absurd.
  • edited November 2021 Posts: 499
    I've read before that Elvis and Greene are related. Is this also mentioned in the film? I can't remember such a dialogue.

    It's not mentioned in the film. It's just something that one of the actors said an interview. Probably something they made up as they were going along.

    There's probably a lot of story from that film which was captured on set but not included in the final product. More of the film's plot is in wiki pages than in the actual film.
  • Posts: 2,343
    I don't think Vargas gets enough credit for doing literally nothing for all of TB right up to the moment where Bond spears him in the chest.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 I've missed you all.
    Posts: 28,470
    I don't think Vargas gets enough credit for doing literally nothing for all of TB right up to the moment where Bond spears him in the chest.

    @StirredNotShaken, I guess it's fitting that a man without vices doesn't do anything interesting until he's needed for a death scene. ;-)

    Vargas has always stuck out as so bizarre to me, because the way Largo talks about him makes it seem like the movie is going to do more with him...then doesn't. I'd have enjoyed him having more of a rivalry with Bond as Largo's right hand man, as I love the juxtaposition of a man without vice going up against a man like Bond who lives life to the fullest. Big missed opportunity in my eyes to draw a clear line between them, and stage some interesting face-offs therein.
  • Posts: 1,758
    Can we just eliminate Elvis here? So many votes for him, but he's really just a part of the organization and not a henchman in the classic sense. He's not in on any assaults or action, really. When I think of a real henchman in the Bond sense, I'm thinking of the main people in the action, not just a part of the organization.

    Vargas just seems like somebody creepy out there who will do his master's bidding without question, not bad but not a standout. I like him. TB is full of minor henchmen.

    When it comes to ineffective henchmen, I'll take Quist from TB. True it takes a convenient gadget to alert Bond he's there. But what if he'd been hiding behind the door instead of in the shower? It was part of the gadget fascination taking over at that point, if a tape recorder counts, that is.

    Then he screams when water is turned on, like it's scorching him. Nassau showers must be really effective to heat up that quick. He should've shot right when Bond entered or come out after he went to answer the door. Then Bond creams him and humiliates him. Then instead of just getting out of there and going elsewhere, he reports to Largo and doesn't even try to come up with an excuse, almost asking to be bumped off.

    Close behind, I'll nominate the two guys who Mr. Big orders to waste Bond in the alley in Harlem in LALD. They get eliminated way too easily. The fire escape brings the one down and the other guy goes down from a quick kick from Bond. A horribly choreographed fight sequence and not a good start for Moore in the action department. You wonder if Mr. Big has taken some hints from Largo in dealing with those two after they've recovered.
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