Things We've Learned from…..Spectre



  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    Posts: 15,695
    119. Judi Dench really doesn't like it when you hang up before she can answer.
  • Posts: 1,394
    120. Bond is a sore loser when you beat him at cards to the extent that he will grab a knife with the intention of stabbing you.

    121. Daniel Craigs Bond runs like C3PO in Star Wars.

    122. Vesper Lynd is actually rather annoying.Beyond looks its hard to beleive Bond falls in love with her.

    123. Bond will not be grateful when you save him from getting his balls cut off.In fact he will shoot you in the leg for your trouble.

    124. Bond will keep his gun and a few spare clips on him when he officialy retires and goes off on holiday to Venice with the love of his life.

    125. When you bash Bond in the balls with a thick rope, he will think its absolutley hilarious.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    126. Hotels in the Bahamas use Blu-Ray players for their security camera footage.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    127. You can measure someone suit jacket size just by looking at them.
    128. Product placement within dialogue is agonising to watch Vesper Lynd: "Rolex? James Bond: "Omega". Vesper Lynd: "Beautiful".
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    129 It is a miracle Venice still stands. Those houses must be made of half cooked pastry.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    130. Aston Martins can roll
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    131 If you have an itch down there, there is nothing like a knotted rope.
  • Posts: 5,848
    130. Aston Martins can roll

    132. And the Top Gear Team have just lost their world record.

    133. Still, can't trust Bond with any vehicle. I'm sure he'll crash even a flight simulator, like Johnny Storm.

  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    134 A Danish accent will lead MI6 to thinking Le Chiffre is Albanian.
  • Posts: 1,778
    127. You can measure someone suit jacket size just by looking at them.
    128. Product placement within dialogue is agonising to watch Vesper Lynd: "Rolex? James Bond: "Omega". Vesper Lynd: "Beautiful".

    #127 was mentioned already almost exactly the same. So we're up to #133.

    Again my apologies for the delay. QOS coming up tomorrow evening.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    133. M doesn't mind her employee earning a little on the side as long as they are not selling secrets (apologise if this has already been said).

  • AceHoleAceHole Belgium, via Britain
    edited April 2015 Posts: 1,727
    134 A Danish accent will lead MI6 to thinking Le Chiffre is Albanian.

    Nice one :))

    Has always irritated me and it's such a movie trope how 'foreign' accents in films can belong to any nationality the story requires so long as the character doesn't sound English, American or Australian.

    And Mads, though his English is exceedingly good, really does sound about as 'Albanian' as Kierkegaard...
  • Posts: 940
    134.) It CAN rain heavily in a Bond movie after all. Twice even.
    135.) Kleinman saved his best effort for CR.
  • MartinBondMartinBond Trying not to muck it up again
    edited April 2015 Posts: 858
    136.) Seashells make you remember to check your girlfriend's phone.
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    137). Asking a Swiss banker if he brought Chocolate creates an awkward enviroment. (Do love the face Dan pull's in that scene)
  • Posts: 5,848
    138) An actor more known in France for his comedic roles can surprise us by playing a very frightening villain (yes, I'm talking about you, Mr. De Bankolé).
  • edited April 2015 Posts: 1,778
    It's time to move on to Daniel Craig's sophomore (and by far most controversial) film. I know many of you hate this movie. Personally I enjoy it for what it is but there's alot to poke fun at so let's get to work.
    James Bond is back in record time in,
    Things We've Learned from…..Quantum of Solace

    1) In the hour between kidnapping Mr.White and the movie's opening Bond decided to stop at his hotel to change his suit.

    2) Marc Forster decided that the most exciting way to craft an action scene is by not allowing the viewer to actually see the action.

    3) The most effective way to save a high ranking member of your secret criminal organization is to rain machine gun fire upon the speeding car in which said high ranking member is currently in the trunk of.

    4) Bond lost an alarming amount of muscle mass in the hour it took him to get to Sienna.

    5) When arriving at his MI6 safe house Bond will ask Mr. White to get out his car with all the calm warmth of grandmother awakening her grandson.

    6) The brains at MK12 decided that David Arnold's acclaimed technique of weaving the film's themes into the credit sequences was overrated and that naked women frollecking in the desert would suffice.

    7) Bond embraces technicalities ("If they wanted his soul they should've made a deal with a priest")

    8) The head of MI6 herself will jump on a plane at a moment's notice to personally be present at an interrogation.

    9) In the day or so since the firefight in Venice Bond decided to ditch his uglier but far more useful Walther P99 for the better looking but far more impractical and dated Walther PPK.

    10) You can drop from a roof and be abruptly stopped by a rope snagged on your leg and inexplicably not suffer severe injuries to said leg.

    11) M buys her employees the worst Christmas presents.

    12) M will pass her dead agent on the stairs and not have the wherewithal to realize that said agent is dead.

    13) Apparently during Bond's stay in Italy MI6 headquarters was remodeled into a Mac store.

    14) Bond will wear white pants to a situation where he is almost certain to have to fight and/or kill someone violently.

    15) After nearly getting shot by Camille Bond will leave the car, stand there, and not assume that Camille will simply step out of the car and try again.

    16) After surviving an attempted murder that your boyfriend arranged and paid for the best course of action is to go back to your boyfriend and nag him about it.

    17) Bond henchmen were in short supply in 2008 so skinny dudes with bad toupees were forced to fill in the void.

    18) During a boat chase Bond will dispatch of Greene's men with a maneuver I'm not sure that I or anyone who worked on this movie for that matter can understand.

    19) When asked an extremely simple question Felix Leiter will pause for an uncomfortably long period of time, hand Elvis back his phone, and rather than give a Yes or No answer simply apologize.

    20) Quantum is an organization so secret that their members will have their meeting in a sold out opera audience where their top secret plans are within earshot of dozens of people.

    21) Fortunately the tuxedo Bond stole at the Opera house belonged to a man with Bond's exact build and measurements and subsequently fit him like a glove.

    22) You can get an airline worker to risk her job and lie for you simply by flashing her a smile.

    23) In the 6 months or so since Mathis' arrest Mathis was tried, exonerated, compensated with a Villa (didn't realize that's how things worked with Government employees), and moved in with his girlfriend. I guess the legal system works swiftly in England.

    24) James Bond can consume enough alcohol to sedate a horse and yet still have enough wits about him to have a clear and concise conversation with Mathis.

    25) It's a crime that the full version of the Bond/Mathis airplane scene has never been released.

    26) MI6 with all it's resources decided to send one petite office worker to retrieve a highly skilled field agent who they believe might be on a mission of revenge and not care who he hurts or kills along the way.

    27) Despite already knowing of Bond's powers of persuasion over the opposite sex, M will send the prettiest secretary she can find to bring Bond back. Because it's not like Bond used his charms to get a woman to do what he wanted and subsequently got her killed only one movie ago.

    28) The reveal of Strawberry Fields' name was a missed opportunity.

    29) Death is preferable over staying at a lousy hotel in Bond's eyes.

    30) There is no easier way to get into a girl's pants than the steamy act of searching for a stationary together.

    31) Felix's idea of cool is undoing his top 3 buttons like he's Fabio and sitting stretched out on a coach, not talking to anyone at the party.

    32) Mathis' death hit me harder than the death of any other Bond ally in the series. Awesome character played by a great actor.

    33) Bond's idea of a dignified burial is gently laying his fallen comrade in a dumpster and taking his money.

    34) Despite Bond knowing full well that the pilot he rented his plane from would sell him out it never once crossed Bond's mind to use his 00 skills to knock him out or neutralize him in any way.

    35) Bond is incapable of engaging in small talk with anyone without the subject of sex coming up.

    36) Bond finds parachutes to be superfluous and annoying. In fact parachutes require Bond for safe landings.

    37) Bond can tell if sink holes had been dynamited simply picking up a rock and looking at it for two seconds.

    38) The head of MI6 herself will personally fly out at a moment's notice for something as simple as confronting an unruly employee. It's a wonder how administrative work ever gets done at MI6.

    39) Three of M's bodyguards can't so much as last 10 seconds against a handcuffed man in a elevator. Those MI6 field exams just aren't what they used to be.

    40) Bond can fool his MI6 perusers as easily as hopping over a hotel ledge, skipping a few feet, and hopping back. See above for further MI6 incompetence.

    41) Eating peppers will counteract dirty water.

    42) There's something about Bond hanging out in a dirty South American dive bar that just seems so wrong.

    42) Ritzy Hotels are commonly opened up in the middle of the desert in Bolivia.

    43) The gratuitous crotch shot in this movie would spur an alarming level of debate and discuss in late 2008.

    44) Bond evidently became an expert on the emotional ramifications of killing despite the fact that he only started 6 months ago.

    45) Hotels run on fuel cells are just fancy death traps.

    46) Michael G. Wilson and Daniel Craig clearly couldn't think of a satisfying exchange of dialogue between Bond and Yosef despite the fact that the whole film had been building up to their confrontation.

    47) 106 minutes is entirely too short for a Bond film of this magnitude.
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    edited April 2015 Posts: 5,131
    Writers strikes hurt scripts severeley.
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    Posts: 5,131
    Daniel Craig can carry a film.

    Car chases are still very exiting!
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,033
    51) Not beeing able to see what's actually going on in a chase scene makes you apparently feel what Bond feels like. Or something like that.
    52) Nobody asks any questions when you moore a boat, and hand a unconcious woman over to the local staff.
    53) Bolivian fighter pilots flying jet trainers are incapable of shooting down a 70 y/o freight plane, even though it flys very slow en lumbersome.
    54) Bolivian army/air force helicopters don't go and check if those two people falling out of that dakota are indeed dead.
  • edited April 2015 Posts: 5,848
    55) As one of my (and Amalric) more famous countrymen once sang : "It's not easy being Greene." (I wanted to use that one for a loooooong time !)

    56) When he fell down those stairs, Elvis sure did " Shake,Rattle and Roll". Especially Roll.

    57) Tosca is not for everyone.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    edited April 2015 Posts: 45,489
    58 If there is no taxi around, just buy a plane!
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited April 2015 Posts: 23,883
    59. Not too much, because I sadly couldn't make out much of it
    60. "I can't find the stationary. Could you help me find it" is a great code-word line to get a girl into bed
  • M_BaljeM_Balje Amsterdam, Netherlands
    Posts: 4,467
    61. That we stil have much to learn from the past
    62. That empty chair can mean more then a empty chair.
    63. That Daniel Craig Bond has some self spot
  • Posts: 5,848
    64) The set designers of the opera have taken lessons from Maurice Binder.

    65) An opera will accelerate during a shoot-out.

    66) Bad editing will make Bond looks as indestructible as Superman (the parachute jump).
  • Posts: 9,788
    67. I really love this film.
    68. M likes to travel a lot
    69. in spit of the fact the door is WIDE OPEN henchmen still have worse aim then storm troopers
    70. Old women carry cheeries up flights of stairs in wooden crates using pullies
    71. 7 years later the use of Quantum of Solace as a title is still the boldest move the producers have made since Octopussy in 1983
    72. I still can't believe I saw two Fleming titles in a row
    73. Mr. White is still the best villain
    74. Dominic Greene is not that bad a villian
    75. Fields is hot an a complete waste.
  • Posts: 1,394
    76. Bond has no problem stealing cars from innocent people.

    77. Bond will smirk when he impersonates an assassin and leaves his dead body in a hotel room for the staff to discover in horror and have to explain to the police.

    78. Bond has no problem dumping an attractive womans unconscious body into the arms of a random stranger without knowing whether said stranger is a weird pervert or not.

    79. Marc Forster has watched the Bourne movies too many times.

    80. M really didnt like that attractive secretary with no field experience given that the chances of her completing her mission and coming back alive were about zero.
  • edited April 2015 Posts: 7,506
    81. When you are driving in a hurry from Lago Di Como hundreds of miles south to Siena in the middle of Tuscany, the most natural route to take is apparantly through Lago Di Garda towards the east, and then Carrara on the Italian west coast.
    82. La Paz, the highest Capital in the world at almost 4 thousand meters in altitude, surrounded by mountains, looks more like a coastal town in Haiti. How could that be...?
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    edited April 2015 Posts: 45,489
    83 The air pollution in Haiti is hopeless.
  • edited April 2015 Posts: 1,778
    84) Dominic Greene doesn't like to be looked upon unless it's exclusively by "one of ours".

    85) Evidently Bond borrowed Gustav Graves' sleeping machine as evidenced by the fact that film takes two occasions to tell us Bond apparently doesn't sleep anymore.
Sign In or Register to comment.