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James Bond News • James Bond Articles • James Bond Magazine
Whom Bond engaged with in a bloody exhausting chase
Into the embassy Mollaka would head
Bond followed, and with a bullet made him dead
The tortoise and not the hare, had won this race.
But in this moment of acceptance his heart had to let her go
He knew her by the name of Vesper
And for the rest of his days he'd never forget her
He loosens his grasp and lets the necklace fall to the snow
With subterfuge Bond made Dr. No's plans a wrap
His disguise blown, the two had a nasty scrap
Soon after the good doctor was spent
With Bond's kick, into the acid he was sent
Still, it's better than dying under a pile of crap
Bond's eyes cannot believe the things that they see
She isn't hooking
And he is just looking
But man is she stunning in that white bikini!
He did not get very far
Drink and drive he did not
cause he simply forgot
where he parked his invisible car
His man servant lived off his tips
An assassin was hired
Poor Fransisco was tired
“You’ll be the death of me yet Nick Nack” he quips
Followed by handling her strife
The old M. is dead
Moneypenny is in bed
Bond has a new lease on life
He strolled around like King Cool
Preparing to dive
he felt so alive
But then he felt like a fool
He killed somebody's dear mum, and missed a Havelock
Never on the straight and narrow
Falling not from cupid's arrow
See our girl Melina teach him how to belly-flop.
I wish that Logan had stayed.
He had no more fun,
now he has run.
Time to call Purvis and Wade.
His teeth into his shoulders dug.
With a scream and a shout,
Roger Moore kicked him out.
But Kiel just wanted a hug.
Nothing in his plan lacks
But Melina and Bond
on that blue Greek pond
can always trust in Max.
now she's nothing to Mr Big
Bond stacked the deck now she's
nothing but a wreck
oh what a fool she has been
On whom Camille seemed implausibly keen
But did Bond get his way
With a roll in the hay?
Dear friends, that remains to be seen!
With a hooked hand he's still a skilled fighter
His closest ally is a chap named James Bond
An agent of MI6 hailing from across the pond
Give it up everyone for Felix Leiter
Where the character of Miss Moneypenny went astray
Wearing virtual reality glasses unaided
The secretary we once knew now faded
Due to a scene that we found rather risqué
Whose looks were enough to make any man drool
One day in a hotel suite
Indecent with only heels on her feet
She was thrown, like a penny, into a swimming pool
James Bond had lost a boss, and a very good friend
For her final scene, I needed a box of tissues
But at least there will be no more mummy issues
For it was becoming an ever so annoying trend
As a new month appears we're entering a time most nice
Of caroling troupes, warm soups, and roads covered with ice
As tinsel hangs on trees with glowing lights
We're with kith and kin, what sweet delights
If only each year it could come twice.
who drove 007 loopy
he danced her to death
now he's looking for a rest
so he's off on the Disco Volante
With their vines to grow and plants to pot
A revelation that's quite the scare
Is that they have people everywhere
Far more than poor Quantum has ever got
There's speculation, excitement and trepidation galore
With Mendes and co onboard again
Let's hope there'll be nothing for us to complain
For I'm sure that we all want this film to wipe the floor
Who never took sh*t from her men.
'Til she had to abscond
To avoid one, with Bond
And nobody saw her again.
A depressing one but that's what came to mind.
Michael said, that's not the kind of sort
Barbara meant, don't care, he's hot
Michael replied, his blonde hair is not!
Babs insisted, it doesn't matter for the plot
And look at that perfectly rounded rear!
Michael rolled his eyes, oh Dear, oh Dear
Then Casino Royale opened to great success
But before Craigisnotbond.com made a mess
Today people wonder why did everybody cry
Everything went fine, Babs still has the say
Next up we'll get Jamie Bell
Even shorter and blonder bloody hell!
Not the next day but Pussy Galore instead
Goodnight, Goodnight is saying quietly
At least the Russian Girl will get Onatopp of me
Honey is a good Ryder and I get Plenty
I don't need that XXX I got for twenty
Tomorrow I'll have breakfast with Tiffany
and I make Christmas come regularly
When I'm in Paris I play Domino and Solitaire
I always rise to the occasion it's just fair
Attempting re-entry as much as I want
Will give them a re-fill because I'm Bond.
Is that an American limerick?
Just a speedy condemnation of the Vanilla software that runs the forum, and causes double posting every once in a while.
But you can take it as an experimental limerick if you wish.