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James Bond News • James Bond Articles • James Bond Magazine
He thundered loudly the same old tune
"A troll I am not
Brosnan's films are full of rot"
And back to the fjords he ran with his spittoon
Happy to get one done before off to walk the dog all over my mountain.
I do hope to visit Norway someday; it sure is a beautiful country.
A smuggler ex prince by the name of Khan
When thwarted by Bond exclaimed oh darn!
Stuffed sheeps head is his favourite
But not too keen on ferret
You begin to wonder where he gets his charm
yes it's true, we don't only eat fish
"Smalahove" it's called
you don't have to be bold
to enjoy it, in fact it's delish!
For I cannot samba, and this is Brazil
Where pigeons double-take
And villains Moonrake
Since Venice has left us, it's gotten quite chill.
I was feeling famished, so thank you a bunch
I wish he could vanish
Next time, some horseradish
I'll lace in my food, 'cause it sure packs a punch.
It just took a few seconds Q. =))
Auric's laser he hoped to disable
With his balls on the line
He bluffed just in time
But now he's locked up in a stable
Sean's privates had Auric's attention
But Goldfinger failed that intention
Craig's balls were caught
but that came to naught
As Craig's Bond never fails to mention
Don't go swimming in his pool or you'll die
His lover was scorned
And it suddenly dawned
That she'd harpooned him above his left thigh.
Silva was not here hunting for meat
They were in for a shock
When Kincade seemed to mock
And he gave them a warm Scottish greet!
In class, James Bond was not
To the beds of women he'd wander
And soon he began to ponder
How many STDs he'd caught
Poor Corrine was used as dog snacks
Way up in the sky
We were all doomed to die
Until Bond cashed in his Space Tax.
Every year on Fathers' Day
The dozens of cards made him sad
They were all addressed to "Dad"
He wished they'd all just go away
Who worked for Quantum but was not the chief
He lost a lot of money
They did not find it funny
Now he's got a third eye that causes him grief
He'd fooled everyone when it looked he would die
Up on the high ladder
Bond proved he was badder
"No, for me" brought a tear to the eye
A submarine, quite close to Europe
With Bond and XXX
Lying on their backs
He was keeping the British end up.
He’s funnier even than Brosnan and Moore
Has Dalton and Craig laughing on the floor
Charming like Connery
but tougher than Lazenby
Allow me to introduce: Sir WillyGalore!
I can't disagree with any of that ;-)
Could it be Bond, Scaramanaga wants most?
We all held our breath
The shot confirmed death
Hoorah! It was Sheriff Pepper that was in fact toast!
Mr Kidd joined him for a full hour
When they were done
Mr Wint whispered:"Hon,
You are my delicate flower."
They do not hit like a stinger
In case you wonder
If you steal my Thunder
You are only left with my finger
The names Jaws and he'll probably kill you
But in space one day
His sins washed away
Now his new lover will make you spew