First question: What is/are your most awkward cinema experience(s)?
Surely we've all had them, those times when you just know you'll never forget what has just happened to you. And cinemas prove fertile ground for some when it comes to awkwardness. Here's a few of my experiences:
1) Going to see GHOST IN THE SHELL 2 INNOCENCE in 2005. One night only. Empty room except for 4 dudes, myself included, who spread out across the room as if shying away from human contact. And yet one of those guys ended up in the same teacher training as I did, only a few months later. We nodded. We knew. Part of the elite. Anime power, dude.
2) Wearing my Freddy Krueger outfit, including the glove, for FREDDY VS JASON in 2003. One mother looked at me like I should have been institutionalised. Her comments were rude beyond belief. But she was accompanying her 16 year old kids to see FREDDY VS JASON! What sort of an audience did she expect?
3) Watching the U2 360° TOUR in 3D in the theatre. After the movie was finished, no-one had even bothered to turn on the lights again. Even the emergency lights were out! And with no flashlights in cell phones as yet available, we had a very clumsy and difficult time reaching for the exit.
4) Attending the première of the very disappointing RING 2. A fat, older man is sitting behind me. Starts talking to me. I don't want to. Not interested in his opinion about the first film. He smells. One of those "I haven't changed my clothes in two weeks and haven't taken a shower in two months" kind of smells. The smell contaminates the entire room. As soon as the lights are turned off, my friends and I manoeuvre down several rows. We've reached the second row when we decide the smell has gotten bearable. Yet the smell intensifies during the movie. When the lights are turned on again, the filthy bugger is sitting behind us! Creepy as hell. A bit of real-life horror for a horror film? Fine. But that smell! THAT SMELL!!
5) Watching THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT in 1999, seated in the first row, all the way to the right. It's my first found footage film ever. From that angle, I swear, I was turning sea sick with every passing moment. So at one point, I slip out of the room to go to the bathroom and splash some water in my face; but I can't seem to find the bathroom, I choose the wrong door and suddenly I find myself outside the theatre complex, down in the street. I had left my ticket in my bag, which was still in the theatre. So I get back inside through the normal entrance (the back door couldn't be opened from the outside), try to slip past the ticket guy. He starts arguing, I try to explain things, but giving a confused (i.e. ill) look, he doesn't trust me. I keep pointing out that my friends were in the theatre and that there was now one empty space (mine!), but he won't have it. Even when he discovers the theatre is sold out, he still demands I pay the price of a ticket. I'm trying to explain to this fool that if the movie is sold out and yet there is one empty space, next to people who could verify my existence, surely it would be fair to assume that space is mine. Also, if he lets me inside, I can walk to my bag and show him the ticket and my ID. The lousy college student takes his flashlight, disturbs the movie by checking out my story but orders me to wait outside. After a few moments he comes back and allows me to walk in. But I hadn't even paid my visit to the bathroom yet! This experience tainted my appreciation for THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT for many years.
6) Going to see that Will / Jaden Smith project AFTER EARTH a few years ago. After about five minutes, a woman starts crying, sobbing. And she continues to do so for the duration of the film. That, however, is nothing compared to when we went to see THE CONJURING 2. A couple of teens in the back were making "those" kind of noises. You know the ones I'm talking about. Fair enough. But seriously, during THE CONJURING 2?