› ›

BondCapCon - No Friggin in the Riggin...Part Deux

1…175176178180181…209

Comments

  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited August 2019 Posts: 5,185
    "Come on Bond, think of a Penis related pun before you break free and kill everyone in this room. There must be one left i still haven't used... can't be THAT hard... wait, lol."
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    Posts: 13,014
    Daaaamn you Truh-BECK! And your "Penis Mightier"!

    hA8DEA664
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Luckily, he had a massive fart coming.
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited August 2019 Posts: 5,185
    Bond suddenly had regrets after agreeing to be the first test subject for Q's new intimate hair removal laser.
  • mattjoesmattjoes Kicking: Impossible
    Posts: 6,724
    Moneypenny: So you broke free, James?
    Bont: Oh, come on, Penny, he was threatening castration!
  • RichardTheBruceRichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 13,014
    Unfortunately OO7 placed Q's autonomous microrobot-lockpick-buttonsewing-corkscrew device
    in the breast pocket of his dinner jacket rather than his trouser pocket.
    Luckily it was voice-activated.
    tumblr_px4n56heY51ytvm9qo1_400.jpg
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 5,185
    Bond: "Ok Goldfinger, you've made your point. Look, i'm sorry i've seduced your mistress in that Miami hotel..."

    GF: ...

    Bond: "And i'm sorry i 'converted' your private pilot/assistant who kept telling you for years she was a lesbian... *hihi*... BWAHAHAH"

    GF: To Laser operator -"Hurry this piece of crap up."

    Bond: *sigh* "f***"

    mattjoes wrote: »
    Bont:
    Is that his french name?
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,929
    00Agent wrote: »
    Is that his french name?
    Mr Bont got a toasted croissant.
  • mattjoesmattjoes Kicking: Impossible
    Posts: 6,724
    https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Mr._Bont

    Bont is dead. Long live Bond.
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 5,185
    mattjoes wrote: »
    https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Mr._Bont

    Bont is dead. Long live Bond.
    *mind blown*


    Bont: "Do you ever get the feeling your life is like a series of books and the author is dead set on mutilating your private parts?"
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    A few more would be nice.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,929
    "Goldfinger, you're forgetting one thing - it's our tailor you want to hurt, not me."
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    Posts: 5,185
    Thunderfinger wrote: »
    maxresdefault.jpg
    "I guess this is it then. I can think of worse ways to go.... Well, no. Actually i can't."
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 5,185
    Sorry for the long winded one, but i need to get it out of my System.

    GF: "I expect you to die Mr. Bont."

    Bont: "Ok, get it over with then."

    GF: "Pardon?"

    Bont: "I said, get it over with. I'm tired. Silva was right, all this running and fighting... And what for? My life is a mess, i can't take it anymore. I think it's time to say goodbye."

    GF: "Bro..."

    Bont: "My life is pathetic. I can't have a family, everytime i fall in love the girl gets brutally murdered, or kills herself. And I killed so many people and got away with it that i don't even know how to integrate into society anymore. That's why MI6 keeps me on the road non stop. Everytime some cashier at my supermarket want's to give me s*** i just want to grab him by the neck and kill him.... This one time i actually did and MI6 had to invent some crazy cover story about how he was some undercover russian sleeper agent."

    GF: "Bro, that's some real s*** man, i didn't know that's how you felt."

    Bont: "Booze and women are the only pleasures i have left in my life... and killing Bad guy's, that's fun as well."

    GF: "Look, i may be a mass murdering Psychopath but that doesn't mean i don't have feelings, and you clearly need someone to talk to right now. Someone get this man off the table."

    *Henchmen release Bond from the laser.*

    GF: "Look Bro, don't be so hard on yourself. Life is pretty good you know? You are healthy, you got so much to look forward to in life. You'll figure it all out, i'm sure. Don't give up on yourself! And if you need help, i'm here for you."

    Bont: "Thanks, Bro." *Grabs GF's head and breaks his neck*
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "All right, Superman. I said I am sorry I slept with Lois! I am sorry, ok?""
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    @00Agent , you win this round due to several contributions. I won t pick out one specific, but congrats!
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    Posts: 5,185
    Grazie senior Thunderfinger! Will upload a pic later.
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    Posts: 5,185
    iKX7xH0.jpg
  • mattjoesmattjoes Kicking: Impossible
    Posts: 6,724
    -Tell me, dushka, am I as exciting as those girls?
    -It's not my first time, you know. Once, I was with M in Tokyo and we had an interesting experience...
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "Look, M. I don t know how to say this..."

    " Call me Emma."
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 5,185
    iKX7xH0.jpg
    Bond: "I tell you this Silva guy was crazy. The things he did to me in that interogation."

    M: "Mhm... where did you say did he touch you? How did that make you feel, did you like it at first?"

    Bond: "What the hell?"

    M: "I... need it for my report. Focus, Bond."
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    NTTD had a very unconventional and daring ending. The fans were split down the middle about it.
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 5,185
    Mallory: "Bond, i need to know if you can remain emotionally detached."

    Bond: "Yes, Sir."

    Mallory:"Good, because the last thing i need is another clingy Ex-boxfriend."
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "What is in this drink? I feel...gay."

    "The latest from Q."
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    Posts: 5,185
    Deleted scene from Skyfall:

    Right after Bond is telling Silva "What makes you think this is my first time", the screen becomes blurry and he suddenly remembers...

    1980's
    M: "Look, Bond, i know your are new here and all this must be quite overwhelming to you, but we need to get you ready for the field, and we need to make sure that you can blend into any situation and infiltrate the enemy at any cost... so why don't you pour yourself another glass of whiskey and we'll get this over with, shall we?"

    Bond: *wtf did i get myself into*
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "Judi was a lucky M. Dying in your arms, and getting a kiss from you..."

    "Excuse me, but I think I left my stove on."
  • mattjoesmattjoes Kicking: Impossible
    Posts: 6,724
    -Has anybody ever told you you look like Ralph Fiennes?
    -Everybody at the Bond CapCon thinks so.
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    Posts: 5,185
    mattjoes wrote: »
    -Has anybody ever told you you look like Ralph Fiennes?
    -Everybody at the Bond CapCon thinks so.

    For real?! It's not him? :))
  • 00Agent00Agent Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.
    edited September 2019 Posts: 5,185
    Bond: "Hi M, Fancy meeting you here... in my living room."

    "M": "Yes, it iz I, your boss YEM, i'm wanting to talk with you my fryiend, and have beer. How is you feeling today comra... commander Bond? Also in briefing at morning, i forgyet, what did i tell you about next mission in Russia?"
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.
    Posts: 8,689
    "You know what? Just because you said your first name was pronounced "Rafe" doesn't mean I bought your story that you're the guy who plays M for even a second."
Sign In or Register to comment.