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"Phu yuk!" :))
(Actually, that one works even better for the scenario on the train, doesn't it?)
<font color=red size=5><b>... hooded juvies try to mug you.</b></font>
"Little Nellie got a hot reception. Four big-shots made improper advances towards her, but she defended her honor with great success. Heading for home."
*Punches the hood* "Beg your pardon, forgot to knock."
:D Very clever.
<font color=red size=5><b>... you wish to go to the bathroom.</b></font>
"A gun and a bag of peanuts. How original, what will they think of next?"