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James Bond parody -- add one sentence

24

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  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,330
    "Oh James, this is your third life! Hmmm maybe I could be your second wife." She said seductively.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,924
    Bond raised an eyebrow in confusion. "First things first- because numbers were never my strong suit."
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,500
    "If the theatrics are supposed to scare me," it thundered from M, "then you have the wrong man, Bond!"
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,924
    "I guess I live to enjoy death another day", Bond replied as he cracked open a Heineken, casually tossing the cap aside.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    "Double-oh-seven! You...forgot to give me one. Pass me one of those."
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    The dew on that crystalline green bottle of HEINEKEN sparkled like ethereal music in the sunshine!
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited June 2014 Posts: 13,924
    M downed the <a href="http://www.heineken.com/Home.aspx">Heineken</a>; quicker than Bond could say 'Natalya Sim-o-nova Sim-yo-nova'. It really did 'refresh the parts other beers could not reach'.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    edited June 2014 Posts: 45,489
    "That was a lovely HEINEKEN, oo7. Now let us get down to business."
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 13,924
    "With pleasure, M. With pleasure." *burp*
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "It is of utmost importance that those dead drunk Russians believe you are dead."
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,500
    "Now you need to get your ass to Nepal! It's been reported that 004 has lost a fight with a chicken!"
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "We believe the Russian druglord "The Dragon" has set up a base there. His identity is unknown."
  • SlyFox007SlyFox007
    Posts: 414
    "Oh," Bond said. "You mean Lee Bruce, the Russian-based druglord who goes by the handle The Dragon?"
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    "Him. How is your Dragonepalese?"
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    "Sufficient, but I'll have to brush up on it."
  • jobojobo
    edited June 2014 Posts: 7,500
    "Why don't you come home with me, so we can brush on it together?" said Moneypenny.
  • WalecsWalecs On Her Majesty's Secret Service
    Posts: 3,157
    "Oh, I always was a cunning linguist, Moneypenny, but I'm afraid that's not Dragonpalese you're looking for."
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,500
    "But I can make you very best chicken!" she pleaded.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Two hours later...
  • jobojobo
    edited June 2014 Posts: 7,500
    "Why do english secretaries taste so different to russian prostitutes" said Bond, relaxing in the bed.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    "Oh James...you like me better than those Russian prostitutes, hm?"

    "You should be locked up in a cage, Moneypenny, my dear Moneypenny..."

    CHAPTER 2- NIPPAL
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    Bond flies to the Katmandu airport. Bonds debarks from the plane, grabs his luggage goes outside. Bond then suddenly sees....
  • Sammm04Sammm04
    Posts: 479
    his old friend and contact, Mr Blobby.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    edited June 2014 Posts: 5,080
    Bond's senses were screaming. He pulled his Walther out of it's holster and pulled the trigger three times. Each bullet came to rest in the body of Mr Blobby, who fell, with a clunk to the ground, for he wasn't his old friend Mr Blobby. His instinct are always right, because he's James frickin Bond.
  • Sammm04Sammm04
    Posts: 479
    Bond went to the fake Blobby's car, and in the boot found the real Blobby, bound and gagged. He helped his old friend out of the boot of the car and took him to Burger King to wind down.
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,500
    Suddenly the door was torn open with a lightning force, and Noel Edmonds entered with seven BBC guards. His face was sweating with intense anger. "There you are mister Blobby!", he yelled. "You are contractually obliged to stay in London and work for BBC you stupid imbecile! You are coming back with us at ones!" The guards grabbed the perplexed mr Blobby and dragged him quickly out of the room.
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    As Mr Blobby was dragged away, Bond finished Blobby's unfinished Royale with cheese.
  • Sammm04Sammm04
    Posts: 479
    Whilst Blobby had been incapacitated, he had informed Bond of terrible danger, the Dragon had placed a bounty on Bond's head. Some of the worlds greatest assassin's were now after Bond.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Their negotiations for new tariff wages were now completed, and they were on their way, all twelve of them.
  • Sammm04Sammm04
    Posts: 479
    The Motley crew of wacky assassin's included:
    Emile Heskey
    Paddington Bear
    Jaws from Jaws
    The reincarnated body of Robert E Lee
    Margaret Thatcher
    Grumpy Cat
    Paul the Octopus
    Del Boy
    And the Top Gear Trio Featuring The Stig


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