"Back of the net!": The Football Thread

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  • Posts: 7,500
    Visca Catalunya! Visca Puigdemont! Visca Barca!
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited December 2017 Posts: 9,117
    Get yourself down to Jurgen's for the most amazing Christmas deal:

    3 free goals and 1 point just for turning up

    Yes folks you read that right just turn up at your nearest Jurgen's Comedy Defending Emporium and pick up your free point along with a bonus of 3 goals for absolutely nothing. No fee, no hidden small print, no catches, you don't even have to be in the game at all - we're literally just giving them away.

    And no need to hurry because these offers will last all through the festive period and long past New Year.

    Free goals, free points, free salvation from being booed off we've got it all at Jurgen's so come on down and ask for the bloke with the joke shop glasses.


    A point against Arsenal is more than the strategical genius could manage against Bristol City, just remember that. Where was the organised defense in that one, eh?

    It really does beggar belief why you keep up this deluded worship.

    Is that really the best you've got?

    How did we do in the Carabao QFs? Oh yeah got knocked out in the first round. People occasionally lose cup matches - it's called a shock result. Jose still won them both last season so I'd say his record not too shabby.

    Liverpool pissing away a lead on the other hand shocks no one.

    It really is staggering the lack of respect there is for a guy who has won 2 European cups compared to how desperate people are to defend the German Kevin Keegan just because he plays 'attractive football'. Tell me what's attractive about seeing your team collapse in the space of 5 mins like a Thai peasant's shack in a tsunami?
    vzok wrote: »
    Get yourself down to Jurgen's for the most amazing Christmas deal:

    3 free goals and 1 point just for turning up

    Yes folks you read that right just turn up at your nearest Jurgen's Comedy Defending Emporium and pick up your free point along with a bonus of 3 goals for absolutely nothing. No fee, no hidden small print, no catches, you don't even have to be in the game at all - we're literally just giving them away.

    And no need to hurry because these offers will last all through the festive period and long past New Year.

    Free goals, free points, free salvation from being booed off we've got it all at Jurgen's so come on down and ask for the bloke with the joke shop glasses.



    It's really beyond a joke. I like a progressive, open approach to the game as much as anyone, but this is utter madness.

    His quote after the game included "we need to learn from it" - yes, but when. Why didn't you learn last time you did it, or the dozen times before that. Plus you were a defender, why can't you set up a vaguely reasonable defence?

    Really with the attack as good as it is, he only needs to get together an average defence and midfield for it to work. But his setup is all wrong, the individual defenders are awful, the leadership is non-existent, and he has no holding or defensive midfielders.

    Still, we are still 4th. How I don't know.

    Spot on.

    Just hire Pulis on whatever wage he wants solely to work on the defence and we'll clean up. But Jurgen would rather be loyal and not damage the confidence of players like Karius, Moreno and Klavs than see us not be a laughing stock.

    The definition of insanity is playing Minger, Lovren, Klavan and Moreno over and over again and expecting different results.

    Given this season was a write off from the start when we didn't buy any defenders he's probably got till around this time next season to at least be on a par with Utd.

    If Keita turns out to be a mixture of Roy Keane and Patrick Viera and Van Dyke (if he'll still come to us now?) a mixture of Bobby Moore and Franco Baresi then he might just salvage his job.
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 17,297
    Sp*rs only won today because I took Kane out of my Fantasy team. Considering getting him back just to have him blank games again…

    ____

    Beginning to like this Puel-Leicester team. They have turned to a team worth watching.

    1-1 now. Will be an interesting match.
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 23,395
    United only have themself to blame totally wasteful in front of goal, 19 games played and the season is over in the league gr. City need to have a total melt down and that's not going to happen
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Sp*rs only won today because I took Kane out of my Fantasy team. Considering getting him back just to have him blank games again...

    Tell me about it. Fortunately I brought in Aguero for Kane and put him captain and remarkably no one else in our league put Kane captain (clearly people didn't fancy him up against the Burnley defence) so I've miraculously got away with it and actually gone up a few places.
  • 001001
    Posts: 1,575
    United only have themself to blame totally wasteful in front of goal, 19 games played and the season is over in the league gr. City need to have a total melt down and that's not going to happen

    Jose Mourinho slams 'childish' Manchester United after last-gasp Leicester draw.


    http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11667/11183593/jose-mourinho-slams-childish-manchester-united-after-last-gasp-leicester-draw
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 23,395
    001 wrote: »
    United only have themself to blame totally wasteful in front of goal, 19 games played and the season is over in the league gr. City need to have a total melt down and that's not going to happen

    Jose Mourinho slams 'childish' Manchester United after last-gasp Leicester draw.


    http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11667/11183593/jose-mourinho-slams-childish-manchester-united-after-last-gasp-leicester-draw

    I agree with Jose how the team handled Smalling's injury was farcical
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 17,297
    Sp*rs only won today because I took Kane out of my Fantasy team. Considering getting him back just to have him blank games again...

    Tell me about it. Fortunately I brought in Aguero for Kane and put him captain and remarkably no one else in our league put Kane captain (clearly people didn't fancy him up against the Burnley defence) so I've miraculously got away with it and actually gone up a few places.

    Now, that's a good move! If Agüero had played every game, having him would be a whole lot easier. Went with Firmino instead, and that left enough cash to upgrade Oriol Romeu to Sterling. Captained Sterling as well. Team looks much better as a whole, though. No regrets (yet).
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Sp*rs only won today because I took Kane out of my Fantasy team. Considering getting him back just to have him blank games again...

    Tell me about it. Fortunately I brought in Aguero for Kane and put him captain and remarkably no one else in our league put Kane captain (clearly people didn't fancy him up against the Burnley defence) so I've miraculously got away with it and actually gone up a few places.

    Now, that's a good move! If Agüero had played every game, having him would be a whole lot easier. Went with Firmino instead, and that left enough cash to upgrade Oriol Romeu to Sterling. Captained Sterling as well. Team looks much better as a whole, though. No regrets (yet).

    Well Jesus played 120 in the week so I thought I was on fairly safe ground with Sergio getting a start. Mind you brought in De Bruyne too on the basis of David Silva going AWOL and he did bugger all so that was a waste of time.
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 17,297
    Sp*rs only won today because I took Kane out of my Fantasy team. Considering getting him back just to have him blank games again...

    Tell me about it. Fortunately I brought in Aguero for Kane and put him captain and remarkably no one else in our league put Kane captain (clearly people didn't fancy him up against the Burnley defence) so I've miraculously got away with it and actually gone up a few places.

    Now, that's a good move! If Agüero had played every game, having him would be a whole lot easier. Went with Firmino instead, and that left enough cash to upgrade Oriol Romeu to Sterling. Captained Sterling as well. Team looks much better as a whole, though. No regrets (yet).

    Well Jesus played 120 in the week so I thought I was on fairly safe ground with Sergio getting a start. Mind you brought in De Bruyne too on the basis of David Silva going AWOL and he did bugger all so that was a waste of time.

    Fair point. Jesus has played a bit lately, so a rest was maybe expected.
    Almost went the exact same route with De Bruyne. Had him at the start of the season, took him out, and then he started to do well. Now I'm considering getting him back – possibly for Hazard, if the Hazard/Morata double-up doesn't work well. Annoying that late yellow for Morata in the midweek. Didn't know they gave yellow cards for that.
  • Posts: 7,500
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!
  • Posts: 17,297
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D
  • Posts: 7,500
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    But God plays in La Liga... I am sorry ;)
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 17,297
    jobo wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    But God plays in La Liga... I am sorry ;)

    Hahaha!
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    Same here. Best value player in the league.

    Was reading a Liverpool message board and this just about sums it up: 'Burnley's reserve keeper is better than our number one and two.'

    It really is that much of a no brainer Jurgen - just go to Burnley and slap £10m on the table for Pope.
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 7,500
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    Same here. Best value player in the league.

    Was reading a Liverpool message board and this just about sums it up: 'Burnley's reserve keeper is better than our number one and two.'

    It really is that much of a no brainer Jurgen - just go to Burnley and slap £10m on the table for Pope.


    A Liverpool fan I know joked after El Clasico that Dani Carvajal is a better keeper than Mignolet ;)

    Edit: Or maybe it wasn't a joke...?
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    jobo wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    Same here. Best value player in the league.

    Was reading a Liverpool message board and this just about sums it up: 'Burnley's reserve keeper is better than our number one and two.'

    It really is that much of a no brainer Jurgen - just go to Burnley and slap £10m on the table for Pope.


    A Liverpool fan I know joked after El Clasico that Dani Carvajal is a better keeper than Mignolet ;)

    Edit: Or maybe it wasn't a joke...?

    Trust me it's no joke mate and hasn't been for a good 2 or 3 years now At this stage I'd take us signing Stephen Hawking after he lost both arms in a threshing machine accident. Just wheel him between the posts and statistically the ball will just hit him in the face and bounce wide more often than Minger saves it.
  • Posts: 4,026
    jobo wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    Same here. Best value player in the league.

    Was reading a Liverpool message board and this just about sums it up: 'Burnley's reserve keeper is better than our number one and two.'

    It really is that much of a no brainer Jurgen - just go to Burnley and slap £10m on the table for Pope.


    A Liverpool fan I know joked after El Clasico that Dani Carvajal is a better keeper than Mignolet ;)

    Edit: Or maybe it wasn't a joke...?

    Trust me it's no joke mate and hasn't been for a good 2 or 3 years now At this stage I'd take us signing Stephen Hawking after he lost both arms in a threshing machine accident. Just wheel him between the posts and statistically the ball will just hit him in the face and bounce wide more often than Minger saves it.

    Yeah but what's his distribution like?
  • Posts: 7,500
    jobo wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    Same here. Best value player in the league.

    Was reading a Liverpool message board and this just about sums it up: 'Burnley's reserve keeper is better than our number one and two.'

    It really is that much of a no brainer Jurgen - just go to Burnley and slap £10m on the table for Pope.


    A Liverpool fan I know joked after El Clasico that Dani Carvajal is a better keeper than Mignolet ;)

    Edit: Or maybe it wasn't a joke...?

    Trust me it's no joke mate and hasn't been for a good 2 or 3 years now At this stage I'd take us signing Stephen Hawking after he lost both arms in a threshing machine accident. Just wheel him between the posts and statistically the ball will just hit him in the face and bounce wide more often than Minger saves it.


    He should be able to organize the defence.
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 17,297
    jobo wrote: »
    Having Jesus in the Christmas line up should be mandatory!

    I have Pope in goal already! :D

    Same here. Best value player in the league.

    Was reading a Liverpool message board and this just about sums it up: 'Burnley's reserve keeper is better than our number one and two.'

    It really is that much of a no brainer Jurgen - just go to Burnley and slap £10m on the table for Pope.

    He's been the best player on the pitch almost every time I've seen him play. He does has a Great Wall of a defense in front of him, but he's been having really great saves as well. Don't know how Arsenal's keeper situation will look like in the future. Would be happy seeing Arsenal making a bargain getting Pope. Wenger loves his bargains!
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Getting Hawking in as defensive coach at the very least seems like a shrewd move given he should be able to get to grips with our black hole of a defence which sucks the ball into our net 3 times a game.

  • Posts: 4,026
    Our defence certainly sucks.
  • Posts: 7,500
    Getting Hawking in as defensive coach at the very least seems like a shrewd move given he should be able to get to grips with our black hole of a defence which sucks the ball into our net 3 times a game.


    :))
  • 001001
    edited December 2017 Posts: 1,575
    Good attempt by the Mig the MUG against arsenal, one handed saves are all the rage......
    He's not good enough to be our number 3 keeper

    promo338250857_4190194.jpg

    methode%2Ftimes%2Fprod%2Fweb%2Fbin%2F472a4f5c-e762-11e7-b046-23180179278b.jpg?crop=3500%2C1969%2C0%2C277&resize=685
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    001 wrote: »
    Good attempt by the Mig the MUG against arsenal, one handed saves are all the rage......
    He's not good enough to be our number 3 keeper

    promo338250857_4190194.jpg

    methode%2Ftimes%2Fprod%2Fweb%2Fbin%2F472a4f5c-e762-11e7-b046-23180179278b.jpg?crop=3500%2C1969%2C0%2C277&resize=685

    Looks like he's had his right arm amputated in those pics. Which would explain a lot.
  • Posts: 4,026
    Anyone see the league table of Premiership goalkeepers listing shots to saves ratio. Mignolet came rock bottom, even below Joe Hart. Pope was top with a ratio of 5.6, and all the top 6 keepers were over 2. He was stuck alone on 1.

    Worse still his ratio was useless every year, never over 1.56. Plus Liverpool faced the fewest shots of any team other than Man City.
  • Posts: 17,297
    vzok wrote: »
    Anyone see the league table of Premiership goalkeepers listing shots to saves ratio. Mignolet came rock bottom, even below Joe Hart. Pope was top with a ratio of 5.6, and all the top 6 keepers were over 2. He was stuck alone on 1.

    Worse still his ratio was useless every year, never over 1.56. Plus Liverpool faced the fewest shots of any team other than Man City.

    Those kind of tables make for interesting reading. Burnley allow more shots compared to the other teams don't they, so there's no surprise that Pope's on top of the table (Tom Heaton would be on top of the table, had he not been injured).
  • Posts: 4,026
    Yes they do let the most shots through. Which makes him the busiest. But Pope is saving 5 or 6 for each one he concedes. Mignolet is one on one. Good job he isn't at Burnley. But then they wouldn't pick him.
  • edited December 2017 Posts: 17,297
    vzok wrote: »
    Yes they do let the most shots through. Which makes him the busiest. But Pope is saving 5 or 6 for each one he concedes. Mignolet is one on one. Good job he isn't at Burnley. But then they wouldn't pick him.

    True. I guess the goalkeeping coach situation must be a factor at Liverpool, too? I mean, why would Mignolet only use the one hand to try to clear Xhaka's shot? Haven't seen any goalkeepers do that unless they were unable to reach a shot with both hands…
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Doesn't surprise me. In terms of efficiency we are worse than British Leyland.

    We create about 50 chances and score 3, the opposition create 2 chances and score 3.*

    *They score 2 and Minger throws one in.
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