And On That Bombshell The Grand Tour is with us what do you think ?.

1246720

Comments

  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Sounds a bit of a dick, The guy with the Tablet. Not Stewart Lee.
  • RC7RC7
    Posts: 10,512
    I did the same while he was prepping his last series of Comedy Vehicle and that time it was a lot easier to get seats, but now they get snapped up fast.

    It's crazy. I used to go and watch him test material in little rooms in pubs in north London, then his kind of 'official' tests at Soho theatre, before taking it on to Leicester Sq Theatre. You could always get tickets, but since he's taken off you have to be on it otherwise it's sold out in a matter of minutes.
  • edited March 2015 Posts: 7,500
    Haha! That is hilarious, genius, satirical and kind of poetic at the same time! :)) It is a shame James May was left out though... I would have loved to see some rants on him as well =((
  • OnlyManWhoCanOnlyManWhoCan Greater London
    Posts: 202
    @RC7 I used to live in Somerset and in a tiny theatre in Wells (incidentally, it was the exterior of the theatre used in Hot Fuzz) I saw Stewart Lee perform his 41st Best Stand Up routine. I thought it was hilarious but most of the audience were old biddies who would buy tickets to everything that was showing, and I'm not sure they understood that he wasn't really having a break down!
  • Campbell2Campbell2 Epsilon Rho Rho house, Bending State University
    Posts: 299
    Can't help thinking Clarkson forgot where his Top Gear role ended and real life began. For fans TG is a personality show, they want to see the gang drive around and do stupid things, the nuts and bolts are secondary. Truth is, Clarkson cultivated the oafish act, that's what people wanted to see. Also true that the BBC turned a blind eye to his antics for the longest timehe must have felt pretty much in his own league. Now to see how they intend to go from there.
  • Jeremy's mum died last year and he's going through or has been through a difficult divorce, he has two slipped disks in his back and is apparently due a Double hip replacement . he's also been at war with BBC bosses since they hung him out to dry last year after the N word thing. (lets not even mention H982FKL)
    as far as i can tell he hasn't taken enough time off to deal with any of that stuff .

    I think he's been on edge for a while and would have snapped eventually and unfortunately this lack of a hot meal at the end of a long day's filming was the spark that lit the blue touch paper. it's all too unfortunate for words and i hope Jeremy takes the time he needs to get his head together and have a break . once he's done that he can make his comeback.
    I don't know the guy and probably never will but somehow it feels like i do.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited March 2015 Posts: 15,690


    Last ever episode of Top Gear :(
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,805
    I don't watch it so it won't be bothering me too much.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    =)) Loved the last ever Top Gear video. =D>
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    Jeremy's mum died last year and he's going through or has been through a difficult divorce, he has two slipped disks in his back and is apparently due a Double hip replacement . he's also been at war with BBC bosses since they hung him out to dry last year after the N word thing. (lets not even mention H982FKL)
    as far as i can tell he hasn't taken enough time off to deal with any of that stuff .

    I think he's been on edge for a while and would have snapped eventually and unfortunately this lack of a hot meal at the end of a long day's filming was the spark that lit the blue touch paper. it's all too unfortunate for words and i hope Jeremy takes the time he needs to get his head together and have a break . once he's done that he can make his comeback.
    I don't know the guy and probably never will but somehow it feels like i do.

    @ Valentin a most sensitive post well done and Thankyou .
  • i've just been thinking. Jeremy has admitted that he absolutely loves writing and when you read his columns that is abundantly obvious he's even expressed a desire to write a Bond novel, maybe he should ditch TV and become a full time writer.Lee child got fired from a TV job and it was the best thing that ever happened to him, maybe the same could be true of Jeremy if he created the right character.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    I could definitely see him doing comedy work. He has great wit and timing when it comes to that.
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    And now the news for those of us wishing to watch some motoring related telly on a Sunday evening the new series of For The Love of Cars starts its run on Channel 4 this very evening at 8 PM this weeks episode will feature an Aston Martin DBS from OHMSS.
  • Posts: 12,506
    Mrcoggins wrote: »
    And now the news for those of us wishing to watch some motoring related telly on a Sunday evening the new series of For The Love of Cars starts its run on Channel 4 this very evening at 8 PM this weeks episode will feature an Aston Martin DBS from OHMSS.

    Recorded this last night, looking forward to watching it! :-bd
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3052014/James-quits-Gear-saying-lame-without-Jeremy-Clarkson.html
    Seemed the old team and Producer have had a meeting ! Could a new programme
    Be about to rise on another station?

  • CDgyXf8W0AAV7x3.jpg

    He's bought the last ever example of the last ever non turbo V8 Ferrari,i really hate James May sometimes .


    I’ve ordered the very last one — all I need is a job to pay for it

    James May

    Ferrari 458 Speciale, £208,090

    NOBODY yet knows what is going to happen in the future of Top Gear or its three former presenters. That is the honest truth, despite what you may have read elsewhere. No one has even arrived at a definitive pronunciation of “fracas” yet, so what chance is there that we’d have rescued our careers?

    The three of us may be reunited on screen, we may go our separate ways, or we may disappear from the television altogether and each assume a place, alone, in the corner of a pub where any unsuspecting passing drinker who strays into an exclusion zone studiously avoided by the locals will be subjected to a predictable “I used to be on TV” routine.

    Whatever we do, it will be scrutinised ruthlessly. Our fans feel betrayed and believe a spell has been broken. Our foes are rejoicing at the banality of our demise. If there’s a hint of mediocrity in any future endeavour, both parties will feel vindicated. Even if Top Gear is revived in a new format with new hosts and isn’t as successful as it once was, that’ll be our fault. And if it’s better, then we were overdue for retirement anyway.

    I accept that this is a bit of a hashtag firstworldproblem, but I’m finding it quite difficult to handle. Humility is the key, I think, to coming out of this well.


    I therefore decided that driving around in my bright yellow Ferrari 458 Italia was no longer really acceptable. That would give out entirely the wrong message. I don’t want to be mistaken for the scion of a Saudi oil dynasty when in fact I’m an unemployed television presenter trying to keep a low profile. So I thought I’d better have a dark blue one instead.

    OK, that was an unnecessarily lengthy run-up to a fairly feeble punchline, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised it’s all over. Anyway, I really have ordered a new Ferrari, which I accept is a strange thing for an unemployed person to do. It may never have happened before, in fact. So here’s how it really came about.

    There we were, all three of us, on the brink of a new three-year contract to make Top Gear, after which we would definitely chuck it in with dignity and hand the reins to a new generation, assuming we were still alive. There were a few details to resolve about time frames and other mundane stuff, but the groaning draft version of this document was actually sitting on my desk.

    This was a great privilege, and a once-in-a-lifetime event; an invitation to continue presenting the world’s biggest TV show for — let’s not be shy — a handsome salary. Although I am often racked with Protestant self-loathing over this sort of thing, I decided to reward myself with a new motor from Maranello.

    I’m already on my second one, but they’ve both been second-hand. This, again, was an opportunity that was only going to come along once; the chance not only to take delivery of a freshly minted and unfarted-in Ferrari, but to revel in the process of specifying it. If I moved quickly and paid a deposit, I could be one of the first people in Britain to own the new 488 GTB, the future, turbocharged direction of the mid-engined V8 Ferrari.

    But then I had a better idea. Why not the 458 Speciale, the more powerful, more focused and altogether more nerdy edition of the standard 458 that Ferrari likes to claim is actually a different model in its own right? Then I would own the last normally aspirated mid-engined V8 Ferrari. It’s a car I’ve already driven extensively — and love.


    There was even a certain amount of fiscal sense in this (hashtag still applies, see above). The top-shelf editions of the past two V8 Fezzas, the 360 Challenge Stradale and F430 Scuderia, are actually appreciating impressively in value. At £208,090 before options, the 458 Speciale is expensive but, like every hopeful classic car owner in the land, I could claim it was better than money in the bank.

    Smoke poured from the back of my man-maths calculator as I made this case to Woman, whose arms remained resolutely folded throughout; as well they might because our house needs a new roof. I’m pleased to say that common sense prevailed — on her part, I mean — but only because I didn’t admit to my plan for gold wheels.

    I rang my dealer —and I use that expression deliberately, because we are talking about a drug of sorts here. No chance, because the order books for the 458 Speciale were now closed. But then he rang the factory, which agreed to make one more — for me. Imagine that. I would own the last example of the last normally aspirated mid-engined V8 Ferrari. It was better than finding a Canaletto at a car boot sale. Yes, please, I said breathlessly.

    Off I went, then, to help make what would have been the last film of the recently truncated Top Gear series, a cinematic marvel on the Yorkshire Moors about the pure pleasure of driving in three wildly different cars: a Rolls-Royce Wraith, Ford Fiesta ST and Porsche 911 Targa. Life seemed marvellous.

    And then the demons stormed the flimsy steel of “Fracasgate” and everything in the future shattered like the mishandled Christmas bauble that the future turns out to be. It all evaporated, exactly as the poet Thomas Gray warned us: “The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow’r, and all that beauty, all that wealth e’er gave” — along with the unsigned contract on my desk and unspoken permission to use the Concorde room at Heathrow terminal 5. It had all gone. All, that is, except the order for a 458 Speciale lodged in Ferrari’s factory system, with only the final details to be confirmed. Oh cock, as I used to say when I was on telly.

    The order book for the 458 Speciale was closed but Ferrari offered to make one more for May. Then came ‘Fracasgate’The order book for the 458 Speciale was closed but Ferrari offered to make one more for May. Then came ‘Fracasgate’
    Things began to move forwards at a pace appropriate to the Cavallino Rampante — the Prancing Horse. An invitation to visit the factory and choose the specification arrived, so I found myself at Heathrow (but not in the Concorde lounge) bound for Maranello and an appointment with Anna in the Ferrari Atelier — a room that is a real-life version of those car configurators we all like to fool around with, the main difference being that you need actual money to play.

    A car of the type you have ordered is parked in the middle of the space. Along one wall wheels of different styles and colours are displayed. Along another are the seat options to sit in. Books of carpet and Alcantara swatches are artfully littered around the top of an exquisite mahogany table. Multicoloured cataracts of beautiful hide cascade down walls. Painted metal panels stand in serried ranks for your inspection.

    At one end is a huge screen displaying a more sophisticated version of that online configurator so every possible combination can be displayed in virtual, door-openable and sit-inable form. It’s an intoxicating experience. I was in there for hours, troubled only by the knowledge I couldn’t pay for any of it.

    I think they may have smelt a rat when I started talking about my vision of a “tastefully austere 458 Speciale”. And then another when we arrived at the colour choices for that stripe that runs over the bonnet and roof. My dark-blue- with-gold-wheels scheme looked good with a two-tone grey one, but then I noticed the stripe costs almost exactly the same as a basic Dacia Sandero.

    Maybe I didn’t need the stripe. “You ’ave to ’ave thee stripe-ah,” said Anna in a way that made my knees crumple like the bonnet of a shunted lightweight Jaguar E-type. I had the stripe. The sat nav? Yes. Reversing camera? Might as well. Nose-lift system for clearing speed humps, extra Alcantara trim on the dash, floor mats (about £1m)? Yes, yes, yes. When you haven’t even made provision for the colour-coded wheel centres, it’s all a bit academic.




    I left with a PDF of my completed car. It is truly a thing of loveliness. I lie in bed alternately staring in wonderment at the pictures on my iPad and trembling in the lonely darkness over the massive figure I noticed at the bottom of the file. By the time you read this my 458 will have begun its inexorable creep through the Ferrari production system.

    The foundry is charging its furnaces to cast the engine block and cylinder heads. Sewing machines whirr, screwdrivers and spanners twirl. It’s a beautiful process and a slow one — months, rather than the 90 hours it takes to build a Mini — because this is a genuinely hand-built car. But it will get to the end, and then I’ll have to pay for it.

    But look: this car really is an investment. I know that’s the most abused expression in car retailing, but for once it’s actually true. I could resell it immediately and get my money back, maybe even more. There’s a cash-flow issue, but this is not a financial disaster.

    But then again, why would I do that? This really is an opportunity that was only going to come along once, even when it wasn’t actually meant to. I’m not making an investment, I’m buying a car I truly adore and that gives me a small tingling sensation whenever I think about it. It’s being built now, for me personally, to my precise specification, by people who love their work. It will be my privilege to drive around in it.

    Hang on a minute. Unemployed middle-aged man from Hammersmith orders the last-ever Ferrari 458 Speciale, in dark blue. What on earth was I thinking of? Just moments before I signed the order form and committed myself totally and irreversibly, I had a sudden change of heart. I ordered it in bright orange.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
  • DrGorner wrote: »
    not surprising . ITV have wanted them for years.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Oddly, I thought SKY would have snapped them up. ;) still I'm sure it's still
    Early days in negotiations.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,894
    proxy.jpg?t=HBhRaHR0cDovL2kudGVsZWdyYXBoLmNvLnVrL211bHRpbWVkaWEvYXJjaGl2ZS8wMzI5MC90b3AtZ2Vhci1wcmVzZW50ZXJfMzI5MDQ3MGsuanBnFMAHFNYEABYAEgA&s=4vL6OZuha-SjAMOzOJ8TRu2ilVQbIcFlS9DFuHfxU3w

    Could that be the new team? I grew tired of TG long ago, but I might tune back in and see how much of it will have changed.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    I'd be very happy if we end up with basically two Top Gear programmes. :D
  • edited May 2015 Posts: 12,837
    I never actually found any of the Top Gear hosts very funny, in fact one of the reasons I stopped watching it was because I found them annoying.

    If Phil Glennister is one of the new hosts I'll watch Top Gear for the first time in years. He's great, he has good natural comic timing and he hosted a good car show on channel 4 before so he's not just a (brilliant) actor, he's a genuine car fan, they're not just getting him because of how good he was as Gene Hunt.
  • Posts: 12,506
    Hope ITV snap them up! The only issue I have whether it's them, Sky or Netflix is the annoying adverts!!! ~X(
  • Posts: 12,837
    Netflix doesn't have adverts.
  • Posts: 12,506
    Netflix doesn't have adverts.

    Not got it! :))
  • Posts: 12,837
    I think it's worth getting, I cancelled my Sky Movies subscription and got Netflix instead and I think I made a good choice. Lots of great shows on there, from TV and new original content, and a pretty good selection of films too. Binge watching shows seems to have become the most popular way to watch them, I think services like Netflix are the future of TV for sure.

    What I'm not happy about though is how they're moving into acquiring more and more new films. For example some new film Ricky Gervais has made is coming out exclusively on Netflix. I don't mind Netflix getting hold of TV shows because they're still on TV, but I enjoy going out to the cinema. In ten years time, I don't want to be streaming the new Bond film on Netflix, I want to be going to the cinema to see it, like I always have done.
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    Top Gear with adverts is not so bad just try watching it on Dave .
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    I'm one of those sad people who watch it on Dave all the time. :))
  • DrGorner wrote: »
    I'm one of those sad people who watch it on Dave all the time. :))
    Me too. even though I have them all on my laptop, including the first series, which they never repeat.

  • Posts: 12,506
    DrGorner wrote: »
    I'm one of those sad people who watch it on Dave all the time. :))

    Me too! I never tire of this show!
Sign In or Register to comment.