Best one liners

peterpeter Toronto
in Bond Movies Posts: 1,579
If this is already a thread, please excuse this one.

One liners, as well as gadgets, in a Bond film, are two of my least favourite parts to a 007 film. I love the man more than any exploding watches or double entendres. This is precisely why I was happy with CR when the gadgets were realistic tools instead of zany and coincidental deus ex machina devices.

However, recently watching the older Bond films ('62-'74), I realized the writers really knew how to massage witty one liners into a scene. My favourite one being this dandy from DAF:

James Bond has just returned to his hotel room with Plenty. He slips off her dress as they share a kiss. She goes to freshen up in the bathroom, so Bond turns on a lamp and realizes he's not alone: some thugs are there and guns are trained on him.

Looking this danger in the face, Connery delivers the following line:

"I'm afraid you caught me with more than my hands up."

The combination of the events happening in the scene and Connery's poker-face created a moment of magic and true humour . It reminded me that, although Connery was not in the best shape, he was king at delivering these types of lines, and, although Roger came close with "Speak or forever hold your piece", Connery was the best IMHO....

And now, please share your favourite one liners and why...


  • TokolosheTokoloshe Under your bed
    Posts: 2,526
    "That last hand... nearly killed me."

    The icy delivery of this witty but pointed barb was proof, to me, that we'd left the awfulness of DAD far behind us and entered a whole new era. Straight out of the Connery book of cool.
  • Posts: 188
  • BMW_with_missilesBMW_with_missiles Reminder: Unsafe driving will void warranty!
    edited January 23 Posts: 1,606
    "They'll print anything these days." Best one-liner in the series. It's the kind of detached, dry humor I expect from Bond.
  • peterpeter Toronto
    Posts: 1,579
    @Tokoloshe, absolutely a smart way of weaving a line in that is not only there as a laugh, but also as something that represents Bond's character: he's not going to go away so easily. It's a perfect example of writing and delivery.
  • peterpeter Toronto
    Posts: 1,579
    @shamanimal, yes, considerably is also something massaged into the script that relies on dry wit performance as well... It's amazing how similar CR and QOS quips are to SC films... But I still find nothing better than, "I'm afraid you caught me with more than my hands up"...

    But I do think DC's "That last hand, it almost killed me" comes close...
  • GoldenGunGoldenGun Station B, Benelux
    Posts: 2,127
    "They'll print anything these days." Best one-liner in the series. It's the kind of detached, dry humor I expect from Bond.

    That is a great one. Always liked Pierce's delivery there.
  • peterpeter Toronto
    Posts: 1,579
    And because ive been hard on the Dalts, I do like "sorry old man section 23, paragraph five...", shows Bond putting a little salt in Saunders...
  • LordBrettSinclairLordBrettSinclair Greensleeves
    Posts: 167
    Connery: She's just dead.

    Lazenby: He's branched off.

    Moore: too many to choose but I'll give you this: He had no head for heights.

    Dalton: He got the boot.

    Brosnan: too many to choose but I'll have this: You know, I've missed your sparkling personality.

    Craig: Hello. We're teachers on sabbatical and we've just won the lottery.
  • suavejmfsuavejmf England
    edited January 25 Posts: 3,273
    Fatima Blush: 'Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.'

    Bond: 'Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James…' (Never Say Never Again).

    Reason: Very very smooth and it works because it's Connery.
  • peterpeter Toronto
    Posts: 1,579
    @suavejmf, SC made it look effortless, didn't he. I think DC is similar in efficient delivery, when it's not forced, like the above mentioned sabbatical line, or when Vesper comments on his "perfectly formed ass".

    "You noticed"....
  • QuantumOrganizationQuantumOrganization We have people everywhere
    Posts: 1,166
    "Do I look like I give a damn."
  • peterpeter Toronto
    Posts: 1,579
    @QuantumOrganization, yes! I remember the first time I saw CR and when this line was delivered, I was like an excited puppy ready to pee with excitement...

    And then when Bond saw LeChiffre, snatched the knife off the table and pursued to assassinate the man...

    ... I did pee like an excited puppy.

    (Not literally, but you get the idea).
  • MurdockMurdock Mr. 1000
    Posts: 14,038
    "Call me James, it's five days to Alaska."
  • edited January 26 Posts: 6,432
    Slumber goon 1: The stiff, ehm, the deceased back there... Your brother, Mr. Franks?
    James Bond: Yes, it was.
    Slumber goon 2: I got a brudder.
    James Bond: Small world.

    I love Connery's put downs

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