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I'm Sorry, That'd be Impossible for ME...

chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
in General Discussion Posts: 17,691
In the novels and first few films, Bond was not a superman, or even Olympic athletic material- he was just a fit man with nards of steel. Which led me to ask myself (and now you all), in which films did Bond do something physically that you absolutely would find impossible for yourself?

My initial list for me:
DAF- Mountaineering about the Whyte House- my vertigo would certainly prevent that.
MR- Pretty sure the centrifuge would have killed me.
OP- Holding onto the outside of that plane??? Nope, just... nope. Fingers go numb & chrisisall goes splat.
AVTAK- Golden Gate, the vertigo thing again.
GE- the bungee jump (see: vertigo), the mid-air motorcycle-to-plane thing WOULD have killed me no question.
DAD- I'd have died in the NK prison.
CR- The parkour chase would be impossible for me.
QOS- I could never endure the rooftop chase & ensuing rope fight.
SF- Umm, most of it, actually.
SP- The drill bit (see what I did there? :)) ) would have knocked me out from the pain at least.

Thoughts?

Comments

  • Last_Rat_StandingLast_Rat_Standing Long Neck Ice Cold Beer Never Broke My Heart
    Posts: 4,416
    Anything with heights. Especially the Golden Gate Bridge and the cargo night fight with necros .
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,473
    Weird, I was watching the finale of FYEO earlier, thinking how climbing up to the monastery would be impossible for me, then I began thinking of certain Bond movies that would seem the most "possible" for me.
  • DCisaredDCisared Liverpool
    Posts: 1,329
    DN- having a tarantula crawl on me? No thanks!
    GF- pussy galore would batter me.
    TB- the diving.
    DAF- yep, I wouldn't handle the height of the hotel too.
    OHMSS- hanging from the cable car wire.
    LALD- running over the gators backs.
    TSWLM- skiing.
    MR- centrifuge.
    FYEO- mountaineering.
    OP- hanging from the train.
    AVTAK- hanging from the blimp and any love scenes with grace Jones. Yuk.
    TLD- holding on to the truck during PTS. Hanging from plane.
    LTK- holding onto sea plane.
    GE- being crushed by those thighs.
    TWINE- I would of broken more than my arm if I fell onto the millennium dome.
    DAD. Film would of ended during the PTS. Ice and scorpions? No tar.
    CR. No parkour for DCisared and no getting my jaffas whacked with a weighty rope! No sir not for me.
    QOS- rope fight and my body would have to be hosed off the ground if I fell into a sinkhole like that.
    SF- getting shot and the subsequent fall.
    SP- if the drill didn't kill me then listening to Franz talk would ;)

    Add all the fight scenes and you've got a full set for every film!
    Still, I can dream :)

  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited June 2016 Posts: 15,690
    Getting in bed with May Day. Roger Moore deserved the knighthood just for this.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,691
    DCisared wrote: »
    DN- having a tarantula crawl on me? No thanks!
    GF- pussy galore would batter me.
    TB- the diving.
    I think you are missing my point just a little bit... A tarantula crawling on you wouldn't be impossible, just incredibly undesirable.
    You could fight Pussy, it's the outcome that's in question...
    Scuba diving can be learned.... etc.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    Posts: 15,690
    Ok @chrisisall: I would not be able to para-surf on top of a huge tidal wave, because I have fear of drowning. And I certainly couldn't do the same thing in front of a green screen because I don't have any acting skills. ;)
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,691
    DaltonCraig007 wrote: »
    Ok @chrisisall: I would not be able to para-surf on top of a huge tidal wave, because I have fear of drowning. And I certainly couldn't do the same thing in front of a green screen because I don't have any acting skills. ;)

    :-O :-? =))
  • DCisaredDCisared Liverpool
    Posts: 1,329
    chrisisall wrote: »
    DCisared wrote: »
    DN- having a tarantula crawl on me? No thanks!
    GF- pussy galore would batter me.
    TB- the diving.
    I think you are missing my point just a little bit... A tarantula crawling on you wouldn't be impossible, just incredibly undesirable.
    You could fight Pussy, it's the outcome that's in question...
    Scuba diving can be learned.... etc.

    Alright then, I take it all back. I could do all of it because I could learn and be trained to do it.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,691
    DCisared wrote: »
    chrisisall wrote: »
    DCisared wrote: »
    DN- having a tarantula crawl on me? No thanks!
    GF- pussy galore would batter me.
    TB- the diving.
    I think you are missing my point just a little bit... A tarantula crawling on you wouldn't be impossible, just incredibly undesirable.
    You could fight Pussy, it's the outcome that's in question...
    Scuba diving can be learned.... etc.

    Alright then, I take it all back. I could do all of it because I could learn and be trained to do it.
    No, no, I think you're still missing the point a little bit...


    :))
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,805
    Pretty much anything beyond walking...
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited June 2016 Posts: 9,117
    DCisared wrote: »
    chrisisall wrote: »
    DCisared wrote: »
    DN- having a tarantula crawl on me? No thanks!
    GF- pussy galore would batter me.
    TB- the diving.
    I think you are missing my point just a little bit... A tarantula crawling on you wouldn't be impossible, just incredibly undesirable.
    You could fight Pussy, it's the outcome that's in question...
    Scuba diving can be learned.... etc.

    Alright then, I take it all back. I could do all of it because I could learn and be trained to do it.

    Exactly.

    If I could be trained by BJ Worth and Remi Julienne them I could hang off the back of a Hercules or knock the roof off a Renault just as easily as I could sit tied to a chair and have my bollocks smashed in.

    So the question you are really asking is - what is physically impossible in Bond?

    Most things done in Bond are done for real so are therefore possible.

    The only one that stands out is the plane catch in GE which ends up contravening the laws of physics. However even a version of that could be achieved as long as Bond's bike was going faster than the plane as he went over the edge there would be a brief period when he was flying through the air horizontally and catching the plane before gravity took hold of them both.

    Even the tsunami in DAD doesn't break any of the laws of physics not matter how embarassing.

    I think there are threads for this sort of scientific credibility thing in Bond films though.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Taking orders from M. Even with all the CGI in the world, I just couldn t .
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 5,808
    Yes, most of the things seen in Bond could be achieved with the right training. Even Jaws's survival at the end of the the PTS of MR is plausible, because it happened before (Nicholas S. Alkemade, anyone ? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Alkemade ) even if surviving completely intact is not. However, we, the audience, don't have the right training, and that's what the opening post was stressing. Yes, if I trained in sharpshooting, I could get a hit at each shot, but I'm not trained in that, so the gunfight at the end of SP is, for me, completely ludicrous. And I suffer from Acrophobia, ophidiophobia as well, and even if I did do some judo for four years when I was younger, I won exactly two fights during that time, so don't count on me for any hand to hand combat. Let's face it, I'm not Bond, that's for sure.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited June 2016 Posts: 23,883
    The reason I'm a big fan of Bond is because I believe most things to be possible, and that I could do it, with training and if I was a seasoned MI6 agent like Bond, as opposed to the plebe that I am now.

    The only ones that stick out for me are DAD (when he was hanging from the back of the glider/racer as it was vertical & hooked to the mountain it just seemed so ridiculously impossible, and this was even before the infamous parasail/windsurf). That was sheer superhero territory, and that I am definitely not, even with training. The other that comes to mind is surviving that entire building collapse in the SP pretitles. I would most definitely have been crushed by the bricks coming down on me.

    With GE, I think I could have caught that plane. Really I do. Or die trying anyway.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,805
    Thunderfinger wrote: »
    Taking orders from M. Even with all the CGI in the world, I just couldn t .

    You just don't respect authority, do you? ;)
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Honestly, Bond's actually a bit of a whimp, compared to what I can do ! :P :))
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,691
    TheWizardOfIce wrote: »

    So the question you are really asking is - what is physically impossible in Bond?
    Well, that's implied I guess, but I was thinking about the stuff I (we) could and could not do in the Bond movies. I think I'd have to add the cargo net fight from TLD- it's not impossible to do- I just don't think my back would hold up to the severe jerking it began to do... as a stunt, harnessed in, sure I could. So two ways to look at it: could you do the stunt; could you do it in real life-?

  • jake24jake24 Sitting at your desk, kissing your lover, eating supper with your familyModerator
    Posts: 10,588
    bondjames wrote: »
    The reason I'm a big fan of Bond is because I believe most things to be possible, and that I could do it, with training and if I was a seasoned MI6 agent like Bond, as opposed to the plebe that I am now.

    The only ones that stick out for me are DAD (when he was hanging from the back of the glider/racer as it was vertical & hooked to the mountain it just seemed so ridiculously impossible, and this was even before the infamous parasail/windsurf). That was sheer superhero territory, and that I am definitely not, even with training. The other that comes to mind is surviving that entire building collapse in the SP pretitles. I would most definitely have been crushed by the bricks coming down on me.

    With GE, I think I could have caught that plane. Really I do. Or die trying anyway.
    You'd be defying all logic. Still love that scene though.

  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,473
    jake24 wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    The reason I'm a big fan of Bond is because I believe most things to be possible, and that I could do it, with training and if I was a seasoned MI6 agent like Bond, as opposed to the plebe that I am now.

    The only ones that stick out for me are DAD (when he was hanging from the back of the glider/racer as it was vertical & hooked to the mountain it just seemed so ridiculously impossible, and this was even before the infamous parasail/windsurf). That was sheer superhero territory, and that I am definitely not, even with training. The other that comes to mind is surviving that entire building collapse in the SP pretitles. I would most definitely have been crushed by the bricks coming down on me.

    With GE, I think I could have caught that plane. Really I do. Or die trying anyway.
    You'd be defying all logic. Still love that scene though.

    That's what makes the series so incredible, isn't it? Without that, Bond wouldn't have made it past his first few movies.
  • Master_DaharkMaster_Dahark
    Posts: 4,813
    bondjames wrote: »
    With GE, I think I could have caught that plane. Really I do. Or die trying anyway.

    You'd catch it just in time for it to hit the ground maybe, lol

    I've always said that scene would have been waaaay more plausible if Bond at least had his hand on the plane as it went over the edge!
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,805
    Master_Dahark wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    With GE, I think I could have caught that plane. Really I do. Or die trying anyway.

    You'd catch it just in time for it to hit the ground maybe, lol

    I've always said that scene would have been waaaay more plausible if Bond at least had his hand on the plane as it went over the edge!

    Yes, funny I was thinking about that scene from GE just today myself. It's far too much of a leap (no pun intended), even for a James Bond film!
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    chrisisall wrote: »
    TheWizardOfIce wrote: »

    So the question you are really asking is - what is physically impossible in Bond?
    Well, that's implied I guess, but I was thinking about the stuff I (we) could and could not do in the Bond movies. I think I'd have to add the cargo net fight from TLD- it's not impossible to do- I just don't think my back would hold up to the severe jerking it began to do... as a stunt, harnessed in, sure I could. So two ways to look at it: could you do the stunt; could you do it in real life-?

    Well BJ Worth does the entire scene without harness and ends up back in the plane so didn't need his parachute so, with adequate training and physical conditioning, yes I could do it.
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    Master_Dahark wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    With GE, I think I could have caught that plane. Really I do. Or die trying anyway.

    You'd catch it just in time for it to hit the ground maybe, lol

    I've always said that scene would have been waaaay more plausible if Bond at least had his hand on the plane as it went over the edge!

    Yes, funny I was thinking about that scene from GE just today myself. It's far too much of a leap (no pun intended), even for a James Bond film!

    It's a shame because the shot of the bike going over the edge and Bond starting to fall after it is sublime but then it just gets a bit silly.

    The irony of the shot of him falling alongside the plane is that it was done for real in freefall and the cliff added in afterwards.

    We really need BJ back to choreograph (he's 64 now!) a stunning aerial sequence. They had the chance in QOS and spunked it up the wall.
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