Z is For sleep: your WORST movie EVER

edited October 2011 in General Movies & TV Posts: 1,856
Most People have heard of the blockbuster "A" movie and those on the cheap "B" Movies of the 50's but have you heard of the "Z" Movie?

Well a "Z" film is what critics conceive to be one of the worst film ever made.

So Whats the worst movie you ever saw??
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Comments

  • megashark vs giant octopus.

    catwomen has to be up there to.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 It was this or the priesthood.
    Posts: 28,231
    megashark vs giant octopus.

    catwomen has to be up there to.
    Very agreed @thelivingroyale. To add to this cinematic debacle, I nominate The Marine. It has horrible acting(especially by Robert Patrick, possibly one of the worst actors ever), plot, and delivery. A true WTF did I just watch film. You will sit on your deathbed, cursing that you could have had 2 1/2 more hours on this earth if it wasn't for The Marine.

    Sadly but deservingly I would also add our own DAD to the list. I HATE the film and I would much rather watch a Moore Bond film over it(now that is sad). It hurts me to see Bond stomped on in his 40th anniversary. It truly is an epic fail of a film. So much thought to make it special, but crap plot, unnecessary winks to past Bonds, Madonna(the worst villain of the Brosnan Bond era), horrible characters, Halle "I got this job because I look good" Berry, Tamahori and his wife, and of course good ol' Purvis and Wade. A movie that really could have been special if there weren't so many darn fingerprints all over it.
  • PrinceKamalKhanPrinceKamalKhan Monsoon Palace, Udaipur
    Posts: 3,186
    Quite a few but one that stands out is "Robin Hood: Men In Tights". There's nothing sadder than a comedy that just isn't funny. And this is coming from someone who's a fan of Mel Brooks' earlier work such as "Young Frankenstein" and even some of his less acclaimed work such as "High Anxiety" and "Spaceballs".
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    Catwoman followed closely by The Human Centipede.
  • DAD actually started of good. apart from the CGI bullet, the opening sequence was good and the film was going pretty well. THEN, madonnas theme played and it just got worse from then on
  • Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen gave me a headache, although Megan Fox did relieve the stress slightly. Daniel Der Zauberer, which I watched as a bet, probably is the worst though.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 34,250
    I really don't know. I've seen so many bad films in my time. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ranks up there.

    Anything directed by Uwe Boll is high up on my list, as well.
  • While not the worst movie ever- I'll agree that Men in Tights is NOT funny.
    What get's me is how in middle- high school it had such a rep for being the funniest movie EVER. I watched it recently for the first time since I was a kid and only laughed at one part: when Latrine says 'I was THIS close- I touched it.' and I heard that was even ad-libbed!
  • As stated above, one or two actual Bond movies could feature highly in this, but in fairness, were not really as bad as 'worst movie ever', it's simply that there were certain elements involved that really dragged them down in my estimation

    I've seen some poor, lame and crap films over the years and it's hard to pick one out as an overall winner, If I was to do a shortlist for example, I could say, put in efforts like Predator 2, Lethal Weapon 3 & 4, Robocop 2 & 3, any Police Academy, Weird Science, The Shining, half of Van Damme's later efforts, and Seagal too for that matter

    Want to see a bad movie?, check out Schwarzenegger in Commando.

    Actually, it's so bad it's damn near brilliant



  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 19,356
    Catwoman followed closely by The Human Centipede.
    THC is a classic, sir. I can't wait for its sequel. ;;)
  • Posts: 1,407
    Batman and Robin. Just an insult to the previous movies and efforts.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 It was this or the priesthood.
    Posts: 28,231
    Let's get serious. Every Sci Fi(SyFy) made for TV movie EVER!!!
  • HASEROTHASEROT has returned like the tedious inevitability of an unloved season---
    edited October 2011 Posts: 4,399
    those cheap Asylum Films like Megashark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, 2010: Moby Dick, and Titanic 2 - are all amazing - but for all the wrong reasons.... those are films i netflix with friends of mine, so we can sit there are riff the hell out of them MST3K style - and also laugh at how ridiculously bad they are...... cinematic gems like those dont happen often... films that almost beg you to rip them apart lol...

    No sir.... I've been to the threshold - I've looked into the face of evil that is the Z movie... and this is what I saw...

    Death Bed: The Bed That Eats..... so ungodly bad, I still don't know why I own it - no one really speaks directly to one another, it's all dubbed over, like they are speaking telepathically.. the effects are lousy.. the story is so painfully slow, that is makes passing a stone seem like having an orgasm - it makes Die Another Day look like 2001: A Space Odyssey.... it's so bad, that you really can't enjoy it on a bad level.. it's impossible to riff apart - IT'S THAT FREAKING HORRIBLE!

    Pocket Ninjas - or as I call it, training montage the movie - BECAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU'RE EVER GOING TO SEE!.. it's one montage after another, of these little brats being taught the art of the ninja, while occasionally sprinkling in a short minute long action sequence to try and advance whatever story they had in had in mind - before going right back to more training... don't ask me how it ends - because as it stands today, it's the only movie I've ever shut off in it's first viewing.

    i shall warn you now like Scatman Crothers did to little Danny in The Shining when he said, "stay away from room 237." ... stay away from these films! - because what lurks inside is just so ungodly awful, that you'll wish you had stumbled across a dead old lady laughing at you.
  • BondBond 1930—2020
    Posts: 458
    I really don't know. I've seen so many bad films in my time.
    This. I try to erase the memory of such movies. But, from what I can recall:

    - Epic Movie
    - Final Destination 4
    - Transformers
    - Battle: Los Angeles
    - Planet of the Apes (2001)
    - Anything with Adam Sandler since 2000
    - Deck the Halls
  • Want to see a bad movie?, check out Schwarzenegger in Commando.

    Actually, it's so bad it's damn near brilliant
    Commando is definitely a guilty pleasure. I don't know any guy who doesn't at least *like* that movie. It's pure Arnold at his best- I love the plot:

    'Bad guys kidnap Arnold's daughter and he kills the entire world to get her back'

    Actually 'Arnold vs the World' may have been a more appropriate title, lol
  • Posts: 7,639
    Fell actually physically asleep at Harry and the Hendersons & 2001 A space oddisey.

    Waste of time Blues Brothers 2000 (great soundtrack though), Bourne 2 & 3 (felt nausious afterwards), QoS, Robocop 2 &3 (any sequel without Verhoevens vision is bound to be utter crap).
  • MD, But what was Freddy Mercury doing in it, and 'what' was that guy wearing? :O

    You have to see it, to believe it, and I saw it

    check out this movie on 'Ruthless Reviews'.com


  • Posts: 136
    Death Proof was so boring I seriously considered ripping out my own eyes just so I could have something to throw at the screen. As bad as that was my all-time worst movie is Cool As Ice. Made in the early 90's to capitalise on the success of Vanilla Ice I was 20 minutes into the thing before I had to choose between turning it off and putting my foot through the tv. Even thinking about that abomination makes me shudder.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe Still waiting for the Jena Malone Batwoman movie that's never going to be made.Moderator
    Posts: 11,849
    I disagree with the obvious choices: Catwoman (it's campy fun) and I Know Who Killed Me (well I liked it). So I will nominate:

    Ocean's Eleven (2001)

    If ever the question Why, had to be asked, this was it. Just watch the original instead. The talent involved in the remake combined is no match for Sinatra alone. One of the coolest films of all time remade into a perfect cure for insomnia.
  • MD, But what was Freddy Mercury doing in it, and 'what' was that guy wearing?
    lol @ Freddy Mercury
    Death Proof was so boring I seriously considered ripping out my own eyes just so I could have something to throw at the screen.
    Death Proof would have made a great Twilight Zone episode, or something similar. Reason? That would have made it like 10 minutes long! lol
    I kind of liked the *very* end- it's too bad we had to watch an hour and a half to get to it
  • Posts: 136
    It was the seemingly endless shots of that woman riding on the bonnet of the car that killed it for me. I remember fighting the urge to stand up in the cinema and yell "for F*%£$ sake just do something!". I must reiterate though, Cool As Ice is SOOOOO much worse.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited October 2011 Posts: 2,629
    Catwoman followed closely by The Human Centipede.
    THC is a classic, sir. I can't wait for its sequel. ;;)
    I ranked CW ahead of THC, because at least THC had some originality besides Halle Berry butchering a franchise.

    I actually considered going to see the sequel because I heard the premise, but not a single theatre in my local area (and there's a lot of them) is brave enough to show it.
  • ChevronChevron Northern Ireland
    Posts: 359
    Gangs of New York. I still want those three hours of my life back.

    The third Twilight movie runs a close second.
  • QsAssistantQsAssistant All those moments lost in time... like tears in rain
    Posts: 1,778
    Trust me when I say, I have you all beat. The worst movie I've ever seen is "Valhalla Rising" starring Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale). That was the most boring movie I've ever seen.
  • Posts: 1,894
    Anything that could be described as a "gorno" - HOSTEL, SAW, CAPTIVITY, FINAL DESTINATION, etc. FINAL DESTINATION is particularly poor, because if you stripped back all of the gory and elaborate deaths, you could make one of the best horror-thriller films since John Carpenter's THE THING: a college student accidentally witnesses something that will foreshadow a plane crash, but cannot convince anyone that what he saw was real. He and his friends get kicked off the flight, which then crashes. Several days later, two of his friends die in a freak road accident, and everyone becomes convinced that Death is coming for them, killing them off by manipulating fate and coincidence. Get rid of the gore, play the suspense card, and it could be genuinely scary.

    But at the very bottom of my list is GENTLEMEN BRONCOS. It was made by the same people who made NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, and when that became a cult success, they appear to have developed the mistaken belief that they can make two hours of random nothingness and be a runaway hit.
  • M_BaljeM_Balje Amsterdam, Netherlands
    edited October 2011 Posts: 3,730
    Ash Wednesday (2002) 4/10
    Crank: High Voltage (2009) 4/10-5/10
    John Q 4/10
    The Wicker Man (2006) 5/10
    Windfall (2001) 5/10
    Jack Hunter and the Lost Treasure of Ugarit (2008) 5/10
    Tears of the Sun (2003) 5/10
    Premonition (2007) 5/10
    Wild Things 2 (2004) 5/10 Wild Things 3 i give a 6/10 also nothing special.
    Cruel Intensions 3 4/10
    Date Movie (2006) 5/10
    Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006) 5/10
    Red Eye (2005) 5/10
    Nowhere to Land (2000) 5.5/10
    Revolver (2005) 5/10
    The Ringer (2005)
    Under the Tuscan Sun (2003) 5/10
    Blow (2001) 5/10
    La marche de l'empereur (2005) aka March of the Penguins. Not rated. After 10-15 minutes i whas tired from the Belgium voice over.

    Worst for other reasens:

    Casino Royale. Cinema view 4/10 Present 6/10 It is James Bond you have higher expections and be disapointed if you see things in Bond movies you don't wanna see. Sitting home made a difrence too.

    Thunderball 5/10 The only Bond movie i give a 5/10.

    As child i whas Pushed to see 3 movies, but i don't give the titles because that is promoted them and the movies subject. It created discussion and it be movies i don't want discus.
  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,367
    I'm seeing here too many films that are individual peoples' personal dislikes. I mean I dislike Moulain Rouge intensley, but I know it's not the worst movie ever made! (it's not even the worst musical ever made, or the worst romantic film ever made)

    So, let's keep this scientific folks. Something so poorly written with clunky dialogue and terrible plot, something poorly directed with terrible pacing and no performance to speak of from any actor.

    Try and avoid obvious Plan 9 From Outer Space-type choices and personal hates. Let's try and find a truly terrible, badly conceived and badly executed peice of ****.
  • Posts: 1,894
    So, let's keep this scientific folks. Something so poorly written with clunky dialogue and terrible plot, something poorly directed with terrible pacing and no performance to speak of from any actor.
    In that case, it's definately GENTLEMEN BRONCOS. If the final scene of your film involves flying a rocket-powered reindeer over an alien landscape to engage another rocket-powered reindeer in an extended aerial dogfight, and if you think this is a good idea, then somethin has clearly gone very, very wrong.
  • SandySandy Somewhere in Europe
    Posts: 4,012
    That is difficult. I try to stay away from the ones I know are too bad beforehand but every now and then it happens. I vote:
    Catwoman - so bad it hurts
    Inspector Gadget - not enough words to describe the acting, directing, soundtrack...
    I'm sure I'm forgetting some, probably they were so bad I developed selective amnesia as a result.
  • I'm seeing here too many films that are individual peoples' personal dislikes. I mean I dislike Moulain Rouge intensley, but I know it's not the worst movie ever made! (it's not even the worst musical ever made, or the worst romantic film ever made)
    Agreed, NicNac, and this is why I always refer to films or TV shows or music I like as "favourite" as opposed to "best" (or conversely, worst). To paraphrase someone else, if someone honestly believes that CR is one of the worst films they've ever seen then they've seen WAY fewer movies than me!

    I've never walked out of a film but the one where I came closest was Waking Life. It had a...portentiousness (and pretentiousness!) that it didn't earn, and the jittery animation that was supposed to make everything surreal became annoying pretty quickly (a good idea on paper, but way overused in the film). It didn't help that the philosophical conversations in the film were they kind that most people have already hashed out with their friends when they were 13 years old. Had I been a kid and seen it I may have liked it more but it was nowhere near as thought-provoking or interesting as the film-makers seemed to think it was. There's nothing worse than someone thinking that they are being something (such as profound, or tough, or appealing to a woman) when they aren't...

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