James Bond Parody, 2nd edition! - Add one sentence

edited October 2014 in Trivia & Games Posts: 5,433
I miss the old parody thread, and I think it's a shame it ended so abruptly. So I thought it was time to have another go at it!

The rules are simple:

1) One sentence each
2) Have fun!


"No, this doesn't work out" said Bond, "your damn mouth isn't big enough!"
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Comments

  • dominicgreenedominicgreene The Eternal QOS Defender
    Posts: 1,754
    "But how, I've been practicing all week!" exclaimed Q.
  • MurdockMurdock Mr. 2000
    Posts: 16,008
    "I can do more with my mouth in my pajama's then you can in Tahiti completely naked!" Said Q.
  • Posts: 1,296
    "And Sometimes I wish you weren't so thick!", Q shouted.
  • Q removed the prototype voice-scrambler from within his mouth and plopped it down on M's desk, sending saliva dribbling to the carpet.

    (Good Lord this story has a lot of exclamation points so far!)
  • Posts: 1,296
    "You see sir? It's just an ordinary tobacco pipe but it makes me sound like Bond!" Q shouted.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation CEO
    Posts: 3,488
    "You must get it in the stores for Christmas," said Bond.
  • Posts: 1,296
    "Thank you for the dramatic demonstartion Q," M gruffed, "but good lord why u in your pajamas? "
  • dominicgreenedominicgreene The Eternal QOS Defender
    Posts: 1,754
    "So now you know, if you don't return my equipment in pristine order," explained Q, "...
  • Posts: 1,296
    "... I will never get dressed for work again. And that's a promise Bond. Q-Slippers."
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 18,203
    "Just tell me where you keep your gun," said Bond, slightly agitated.
  • DragonpolDragonpol The Crazy World of David Dragonpol
    Posts: 13,395
    "In my fridge," replied Q.
  • Posts: 10,867
    " To make it the coldest weapon of all ?" quipped Bond
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    "no bond, if I wanted to do that I'd put it in the freezer, you 00's aren't awfully bright are you?" retorted Q
  • Posts: 10,867
    " I don't have to think, I follow Orders" Bond bitched back. :P
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    "only when you bloody well feel like it 007, I could have had you court martialled a hundred times for the amount of orders you've flouted" remonstrated M
  • Posts: 10,867
    " It's only.... Because I want you to notice me Sir.... say how I'm the bestest agent
    of all, and better than all the other 00s, they don't care for you like I do. They talk about you behind your back and say you're smelly ...... and kick kittens ! " Bond answered
    walking to the window.
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    "you're a loose cannon on deck 007, but I do like you.....a lot, now please stop pushing your face against my window, you'll make it greasy and come sit down, I have a mission for you." m said gently but with purpose.
  • Posts: 10,867
    Bond pushed his hands deep in his pockets and Petulantly complied.
    " So long as, You do really like Me, so what's up Girlfriend ?"
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    M peered at bond with those familier grey eyes and handed bond a sealed foolscap dossier.
  • DragonpolDragonpol The Crazy World of David Dragonpol
    edited July 2016 Posts: 13,395
    The red star denoting that it was 'Top Secret' was emblazoned on the top.
  • Posts: 10,867
    in green ink M had written " Immediate Action required "
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    Bond read quickly, taking in the information. And looking at the photograph of a not unattractive woman.
  • edited July 2016 Posts: 5,019
    But while not unattractive, she was also not necessarily attractive—somewhere in the middle, Bond would say—maybe a little below somewhere in the middle, but very middleish nonetheless—yes, very middleish indeed.
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    " her names Getzer Patzov" said m " as her name suggests you'll have no problem de-briefing her" he added
  • Posts: 10,867
    under the photo her name ...... Sarah Tonin ?
  • "Well, I hope she has fewer inhibitions than she has names!" Bond commented, popping both of his brows.
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    " Sarah tonin is the photo on the back you blithering idiot" said m growing frustrated with Bond's lack of concentration.
  • Posts: 10,867
    "Sorry Sir" exclaimed Bond, his bottom lip quivering !
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    "now your mission is to find miss pantzov with the help of Sarah tonin, find out what she knows about this hinckley power station debacle, then give her a bloody good seeing to. This dossier won't self destruct in 5 seconds because we are far classier than that" snorted m in a superior manner.
  • Posts: 10,867
    " I'll go with Q to collect my equipment, Sir" Bond rose and followed Q out of the room.
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