What do you consider the most dire moment in a Bond film?

edited February 8 in Bond Movies Posts: 39
My direst moment in a Bond film? No contest! Lee Tamahori has much for which to answer in foisting upon undeserving Bond fans that truly dreadful, third-rate piece of CG that mars "Die Another Day". You know the moment - that 2:50's worth of cinematic detritus from the moment our hero goes over the ice cliff in Gustav Graves's rocket-fuelled racing car and through the moment he emerges triumphant, sail-boarding the resultant mini-tsunami. For Tamahori to have directed this most embarrassing scene in the entire Bond canon is one thing: for La Broccoli and Michael Wilson to have okayed it is quite another - and utterly indefensible.
«13456716

Comments

  • I agree with yours, the rocket car and the ice para-sailing in DAD. Its a shame because I really enjoyed DAD, I even put up with madonnas crappy theme, then once bond arrived in iceland it went downhill really quickly.
  • edited January 2012 Posts: 1,295
    Jaws falling in love. (nothing will ever beat that!)

    Some other notable all-time dire moments...

    Daniel Craig's QOS gun barrel fast duck walk.

    CR featuring a toilet in the pre-credit scene.

    Toby Stephens acting in DAD.

    Roger Moore's final ever scene as James Bond ending with a Carry On type "ooher" line (in the shower with Stacey).


    ;))
  • Posts: 1,492
    paragliding the etchasketch cgi tidal wave in DAD. Low point of the series - and may be the decade.

    Ellliott Carvers kung fu moment is next.
  • edited January 2012 Posts: 1,295
    This... the entire film!



    Maybe if you're in the right mood you might like it, there's a few nice moments, but it's one heck of a mess of a film!

    :P

    The soundtrack is wonderful though.
  • Posts: 3,207
    Well, that movie was prophetic of what the franchise was to become during the Moore years. Everything was there: use of other movies' themes, funny animals, plots that made no sense whatsoever, and so on.
  • The laser scene in Die Another Day. At least the surfing scene was original, this was just a bad parody of one of the best film scenes of all time. Made me feel like I was watching Epic Movie or one of Friedberg and Seltzer's other festering turds.

    Lasers - sound like chihuahuas
    Jinx - irritating, just wisecracks when her life's in danger
    Bond - PAIN FACE
    Mr Kil - awful henchman, awful name
    Fight - terrible

    Not one redeeming feature, the scebe didn't even have Miranda Frost in it.
  • edited January 2012 Posts: 1,295
    The original CR features one of the greatest easy listening pop songs- Burt Bacharach's The Look of Love.



    So we can forgive the rest of the film because that song is too good!

  • Posts: 10,172
    without doubt the iceberg surfing sequence in DAD. OMG what was Tama hori thinking?
  • Posts: 1,452
    I agree 100% with all the comments re: the infamous CGI iceberg scene. Truly embarrassing for any film let alone Bond! Even Roger Moore would have been embarrassed! A poor way for Brosser to exit the series.

    Also not a big fan of Sean turning Japenese in Twice or the fight Moore has in AVTAK involving the use of salt-loaded shotguns against badly-wigged stuntmen heavies! Actually most of that film contains most of the series low points ie " ooh James" from the glamourous but vacuous Stacey Sutton. Only 2 redeeming features of AVTAK, the great Chris Walken and Duran Duran theme song.

    Blofeld cross-dressing scene in DAF is also very cringeworthy.
  • The entirety of DAF. Just plain awful.
  • Posts: 13,155
    The Die Another Day parasurfing of course.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,300
    These are in no particular order:

    Goldfinger. The character.
    DAF. Mainly any time Tiffany Case is on the screen, and I guess when Professor Doctor Metz (what is up with that name?!); Blofeld's okay, but I think they should have stuck with Telly Savalas.
    MR. I can accept Jaws falling in love (even bad guys have a heart) but Drax and his space Nazis... no.
    TWINE. Christmas Jones in particular, but Elektra and Renard do take up a good deal of problems. "Oh, boo hoo, my daddy stole stuff from mommy! I think I'll kill him and seduce a terrorist on the side." (Too much Mommy love is also why I detest Sephiroth of FFVII fame.)
    DAD. The movie. Outside of an awesome sword fight sequence and a great Q Lab, there's little to like about this film. I do kind of like Madonna's song, though.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    I'm afraid I cant quite agree on the parasurfing. I would have to give my vote to the invisible car. As soon as that abomination hoves into view the film is already lost and the parasurfing is just the cherry on the top of a very big turd cake.

    And on paper the parasurfing to escape a collapsing glacier and tsunami sounds stunning whereas the invisible car sounds laughable on paper, on film on any medium.
  • edited January 2012 Posts: 136
    I'm afraid I cant quite agree on the parasurfing. I would have to give my vote to the invisible car. As soon as that abomination hoves into view the film is already lost and the parasurfing is just the cherry on the top of a very big turd cake.

    And on paper the parasurfing to escape a collapsing glacier and tsunami sounds stunning whereas the invisible car sounds laughable on paper, on film on any medium.

    I'd love to have seen the look on the Aston sponsors' faces when told their beloved product placement would be...invisible
  • haserothaserot has returned like the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.
    edited January 2012 Posts: 4,181
    - Sean being made to look Japanese.... was it really that necessary?.. and also, it was a lousy job too - all they seemed to do was mess up his hair a little..

    - Moonraker's climax taking place in space.... this didn't need to happen, but it was the crux as to why they fast tracked this Bond outing - to take advantage of the new special effects technology pioneered by Star Wars 2 years earlier... the climax of the film could've easily had taken place at Drax's shuttle base in the amazon, rather than drag us into the cosmos..

    - Denise Richards' casting in TWINE... I would find it hard to believe that her readings beat out every other actress that auditioned for the role (if auditions even took place - based on the fact that they signed Richards on).

    - Invisible Car in Die Another Day... I couldn't care less if it's based on any existing (or at the time, in development) technology - it was still a bad idea... especially since Bond tries to hide behind it at one point before getting in (dumb)... and it really has no amazing payoff, when Bond kills Zao by turning invis and letting diamond face plung off the balcony - that could've easily had been done without using the invisibility.... stupid.... not to mention, driving the car around in the snow would leave tire tracks everywhere.

    - CG Bond windsurfing over CG Tsunami....... the biggest load of crap in Bond film history.... as crazy as the Bond stunts usually are - there is something about the majority of them being done practically (ie: the ski jump in the PTS of TSWLM, or the sky dive in the PTS of MR) that makes them memorable... this scene is memorable alright - but for all the wrong reasons... this bit even makes the ridiculous sky diving into a plane in the PTS of GE look good.... the CGI in the whole film, especially in this scene are terrible, even for the hollywood standards of the time - and looking back by standards of today, it's even worse...... the only thing i think that almost tops this is in the movie, is Graves trying to kill Bond with Force Lightning during the climax.
  • When I first read 'dirtiest moments' I was expecting something different actually.

    what we have above aren't really 'dirty' moments or what you could possibly define as 'dirty', silly, inappropriate or lame would be better.

    That said, I put forth my own short list

    #1 Connery beating the living daylights out of poor defenseless spider with slipper in Doctor No, BAM BAM BAM, cringe worthy sound effects on an otherwise standout film

    #2 Bond turning Japanese and training to be a ninja, You Only Live Twice

    #3 Connery returning for Diamonds are Forever

    #4 90 per cent of Moonraker, Bond blasts off into Outer Space etc, complete nonsense

    #5 Moore at specific points of his last two features, too many to mention

    #6 The too perfect car demonstration in Tomorrow Never Dies

    #7 Invisible Car, Bond surfing giant waves, Berry, Ciccone, lame acknowledgements of past 007 adventures, Die Another Day

    #8 A fair berating of QOS from what I remember

    #9 I'd like to add having a kid play Q in the next release too, wholly inappropriate I still insist to have someone play the role years Bond's junior


  • haserothaserot has returned like the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.
    Posts: 4,181
    When I first read 'dirtiest moments' I was expecting something different actually.

    what we have above aren't really 'dirty' moments or what you could possibly define as 'dirty', silly, inappropriate or lame would be better.

    it's direst moments... not dirtiest.

  • As true as I am sitting here when I first saw the title it said 'Dirtiest moments'

    I can see now it's been change too by the author
  • Posts: 1,452
    These are in no particular order:

    Goldfinger. The character.
    DAF. Mainly any time Tiffany Case is on the screen, and I guess when Professor Doctor Metz (what is up with that name?!); Blofeld's okay, but I think they should have stuck with Telly Savalas.
    MR. I can accept Jaws falling in love (even bad guys have a heart) but Drax and his space Nazis... no.
    TWINE. Christmas Jones in particular, but Elektra and Renard do take up a good deal of problems. "Oh, boo hoo, my daddy stole stuff from mommy! I think I'll kill him and seduce a terrorist on the side." (Too much Mommy love is also why I detest Sephiroth of FFVII fame.)
    DAD. The movie. Outside of an awesome sword fight sequence and a great Q Lab, there's little to like about this film. I do kind of like Madonna's song, though.



    I must need my eyes testing! For a second I thought the top line read "Goldfinger. The character"! Cant possibly be right

  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe S.A.R.A.H.
    edited January 2012 Posts: 9,784
    AVTAK: all of it, the absolute nadir of the series.
  • AVTAK: all of it, the absolute nadir of the series.

    It was the worst of Moore's tenure without any question, an absolute embarrassment to both Moore and the franchise as a whole, he said so years later in hindsight it was a poor choice for him to have gone ahead with it at 57 years of age.

    Not just that but it's a disaster, California Girls, Moore (well his stunt double actually) doing ski somersaults amd fancy stunts to said music, and to skip the rest of it, an absolutely cringe worthy finale in San Francisco with Moore sailing through the skies and subsequent Golden Gate bridge nonsense.

    :-<
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,300
    LeChiffre wrote:
    These are in no particular order:

    Goldfinger. The character.
    DAF. Mainly any time Tiffany Case is on the screen, and I guess when Professor Doctor Metz (what is up with that name?!); Blofeld's okay, but I think they should have stuck with Telly Savalas.
    MR. I can accept Jaws falling in love (even bad guys have a heart) but Drax and his space Nazis... no.
    TWINE. Christmas Jones in particular, but Elektra and Renard do take up a good deal of problems. "Oh, boo hoo, my daddy stole stuff from mommy! I think I'll kill him and seduce a terrorist on the side." (Too much Mommy love is also why I detest Sephiroth of FFVII fame.)
    DAD. The movie. Outside of an awesome sword fight sequence and a great Q Lab, there's little to like about this film. I do kind of like Madonna's song, though.



    I must need my eyes testing! For a second I thought the top line read "Goldfinger. The character"! Cant possibly be right

    No, your eyes are fine. I don't like Auric Goldfinger (film or novel).
  • Posts: 2,341
    In Dr No on Crab Key where Bond tells Quarrell; "Fetch my shoes".
    This scene is so shameful that no one seems to recall it. The critics or the affacionados never mention it. I for one never forgot it. Up to this point in the film Quarrel was treated with sympathy and as Bond's equal. But after they meet Honey (white woman) then Bond feels he has to exert his (white) manhood and start ordering Quarrell around like some Mississippi cracker. This is so shameful.

    YOLT Bond going "Japanese". It was stupid and also explicitly racist. It harkens back to the 1930's when they used to make up caucasian actors to play Chinese characters Charley Chan, Mr Wong) because they did not want to give the lead to a Chinese or Asian actor.

    MR The space Battle had me cringing as did most of the movie following the PTS.

    AVTAK Everytime Tanya Roberts screamed.

    LALD Kanaga's death. Really stupid and unrealistic. they should have had the sharks finish him (like in the book).

    DAF Kidd and Wint's flamborant homo sexual behavior and Blofeld in drag-ouch!

    DAD The parasurfing. The invisible car. Halley Berry's awful dialogue and subpar acting.






  • DAD after Cuba - no brainer really.

    What do you consider the dirtiest moment in a Bond film?

    Go to 4.40 X_X


  • 99.9% of DAD. The iceberg sequence is one of (if not THE) most ridiculous moment in the history of film
  • DiscoVolanteDiscoVolante Stockholm, Sweden
    Posts: 1,324
    The iceberg sequence is one of (if not THE) most ridiculous moment in the history of film
    Indeed..

    Welcome to the forums @tommychameleon, and nice avatar!
  • I thought he was talking about James Cameron's Titanic movie when I first glanced the above. I suppose we can argue about both at the end of the day
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 It was this or the priesthood.
    edited January 2012 Posts: 28,232
    Every scene in DAD where Jinx is breathing!!!
  • You know what part I can't STAND? The scene in Casino Royale when Bond is recovering and is talking to Vesper, telling her "all his armor is gone" and "he's hers" and whatnot. That was the most out-of-character thing I've ever seen Bond do, making him sound like a sniveling romantic. Completely destroyed the character. :-w
  • 002002
    Posts: 581
    99.9% of DAD. The iceberg sequence is one of (if not THE) most ridiculous moment in the history of film

    nah NSNA where Connery and Basinger get on a horse and JUMP Off a cliff into the sea....the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen...and the horse still survived.

    Die Another Day- i didnt mind the film but the slowmotion scene of Zao is just so stupid and well Jinks- she is only looks and no substance...the movies first half is better than its second...

    QOS- the opera scene in which the editing is so bad that it makes the direction of Joe Shumucker's Batman and Robin look like a masterpiece. in fact count the whole movie as an abysmal faliure


Sign In or Register to comment.