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The henchman appreciation thread

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Comments

  • M16_CartM16_Cart Craig fanboy?
    Posts: 538
    You all are too funny. I love it. Agree that Elvis was a parody of past henchmen. He was a small amount of comic relief the film had. I also agree he could've been memorable if he had more screen time to himself.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,805
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    It's a shame @TheWizardOfIce isn't here. He'd have a field-day at the prospect of an actual appreciation thread.

    Yes, correct. Maybe I should remind him that it exists. ;)
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,691
    Blow up your pants.
    And he did.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    I appreciate that Elvis's only reason for being included in QoS at the outset was to perhaps make diminitive Dominic Greene look more macho. It wasn't necessary though, because Almaric infused Greene with suitable menace on his own through his acting prowess.

    This image of Elvis during Tosca is the one that lingers for me
    47730-28123.jpg
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    edited February 2016 Posts: 17,691
    He stands as the most unique henchman ever IMO. :))
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited February 2016 Posts: 15,690
    Who is more useless as a henchman, Elvis in QOS or Gabor in TWINE? Gabor is so useless that when Bond beats the crap out of him, it happens off screen, and based on the sound heard at that moment it didn't take many punches to take him out.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited February 2016 Posts: 23,883
    Gabor was indeed the definition of useless, along with those two other twerps from TWINE, namely Davidov & Bullion. So Elvis is probably redeemable.

    I think 'C' probably rivals Elvis to some extent. The moment we get an appreciation thread for him is when I know things are going belly up around here.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 23,547
    @bondjames, I already lost my faith in humanity seeing a thread like this one. Terrifying. Elvis and Gabor are both useless, a waste of space. Even for the sake of completion it makes no sense as Elektra and Greene would have been better off without these two.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited February 2016 Posts: 15,690
    You think this appreciation thread is bad? Think of the mayhem if someone made an Appreciation thread for Rory Kinnear's Tanner. @TheWizardOfIce would declare WW3 so quickly that your heads would spin.

    Or we can create an Appreciation thread for Lee Tamahori. Now that would cause some fireworks.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Can't this be closed Mods?

    The thread runs to two pages and there is barely a single positive comment actually 'appreciating' Elvis.

    It's just people saying what a load of bollocks it is that this thread even exists.

    Which of course it is.

    Where do we draw the line in having appreciation threads of characters who are little more than extras?

    Should we have a thread dedicated to TB's Group Captain Pritchard?

    Maybe AVTAK's Mr Howe?

    Or how about Nina and Verushka from TWINE each getting their own thread?

    Just because a character is actually named rather than merely being called 'Gormless Bloke With Stupid Haircut Who Just Stands Next To Greene Being Useless' doesn't automatically elevate them to anything other than background artiste.

    It's about time someone started up a Klaus Hergescheimer thread because if an embarrassment like Elvis gets his own thread then the Herg should get a whole website dedicated to him.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    An appreciation thread for Mr Kil would at least be funny.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited February 2016 Posts: 9,117
    How about one for shockingly racist French stereotypes?

    The Monsieur Abuergine and the 'Maah Caar' bloke thread.

    All they were missing was the beret and stripy jumper.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    Or an appreciation thread for the little Thai boy knocked into the river by evil westerner Roger Moore?
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 23,547
    @TheWizardOfIce, if Nina and Verushka get their own thread, I'm there. ;-)
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    edited February 2016 Posts: 23,547
    Right, I changed the title. Now all henchmen, including Hinx and the lot, can be praised here, if so desired. ;-) So let's hear it for Oddjob...

    Vargas...

    Whistler...

    Hans (boobie!) ...

    ...
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    DarthDimi wrote: »

    Hans (boobie!) ...

    ...[/b]

    That's reminded me, I didn't realise until recently that Necros was also Karl's brother (and the first terrorist Willis kills) in Die Hard. He looks quite short and not very threatening in that film. I swear they make him look taller in TLD.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    To be fair Hans is pretty crap but at least he ends up having a rumble with Bond.

    I'm not sure happy with the way you've gone about this Darth.

    I feel that Oddjob and Jaws really shouldn't have to share a thread with Elvis. Can't we have two: The quality henchman thread and The crap henchman thread?

  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 23,547
    @TheWizardOfIce
    I think opinions about Jaws may largely differ. ;-)
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited February 2016 Posts: 9,117
    True enough but whatever you say about Jaws, even when he's embarrassingly flapping his arms like a demented Kevin Nolan goal celebration, he never manages to plumb the Marianas Trench depths of utter crapness that is Elvis.

    For all of Jaws' crimes in MR (and they are many) the single shot of him in the clown costume staring after Bond and Manuela has more impact than all of Elvis's scenes combined.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 23,547
    Elvis tripping over Fields' shoe is an absolute low-point in the series. "Oh my gosh!" You said it, girl. Greene should have fed him the oil instead of Fields.
  • GBFGBF
    Posts: 3,195
    One could make a list of top 5 underrated minor henchman (those who have little screen time who are still very memorable). Here is mine:

    1. The knife throwing twins from OP
    2. Dr. Kaufmann
    3. Mollaka
    4. Apostis
    5. Dr. Mortner
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    The one thing I don't like about Dr. Mortner is his lazy, cartoony death.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited February 2016 Posts: 9,117
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    The one thing I don't like about Dr. Mortner is his lazy, cartoony death.

    Yep.

    Like they were all just about to go off to the wrap party when someone suddenly said 'Hang on we forgot to kill off Scarpine and Mortner. Err let's just have them do some comedy juggling with some TNT from a Roadrunner cartoon. Sorted. Come on the bar's open.'

    Apart from anything what sort of shit way is that to try and kill someone hanging on the bridge? You have to time throwing it so it sails past Bond just as it goes off. Why not pick up Scarpine's gun up and use that rather than going straight to your fridge full of dynamite (and why would you have that anyway? For some impromptu mine excavating?).

    We slag off SP's writing, and with good reason, but this is so poor. Even P&W would've come up with something better.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    Agreed. He also waves the dynamite around long enough for Rog to grab the axe and cut the rope. Amateurish to the extreme.
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,422
    I assumed Mortimer was driven mad with grief.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 23,547
    I'll say more. Herr Mortner wears that evil monocle and speaks with a thick accent. Who inspired him?

    Dr Mindbender, from the GI Joe cartoon?

    or just any evil monocle wearing type?

    But this is the level at which AVTAK is willing to meet us. The henchman is named "Scarpine" and he has a notable scar on his face. The big villain is named "Zorin". Those aren't names you give people. Zorin sounds like a cartoon alien (or an operating system, which it is). Scarpine sounds like Scorpio... Scarpio... Scarpin... Scarpine! Go! Write the script. Evil names. Good enough.

    At least Fleming gave his character some tongue-in-cheek an playful but not at all embarrassing names. Scaramanga, Goldfinger, Pussy Galore, Oddjob, ... The hidden winks as well as the obvious winks are part of the fun. In that same tradition we have Goodhead, Nekros, Onatopp, Jinx and May Day (see? I'm willing to give compliments when there's good reason.) But I'm so glad they called it out in CR: "Vesper. I hope you gave your parents hell for that." Zorin and Scarpine aren't playful or double entendres or whatever. They are a child's mind run free.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    On a slight side note I do like the nod to Zorin they had in the EON game of he and Bond "playing Bridge together".
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited February 2016 Posts: 15,690
    Here is Roger Moore explaining to @DarthDimi to stop complaining about his films.

    https://cellmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/roger_moore_the-spy-who-loved-me.jpg
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited February 2016 Posts: 9,117
    DaltonCraig007 wrote: »
    Here is Roger Moore explaining to @DarthDimi to stop complaining about his films.

    https://cellmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/roger_moore_the-spy-who-loved-me.jpg

    That's a really rubbish kick by the way. Would be lucky to knock a toddler over but the sound effect and Sandor's reaction try to convince us that Rog has delivered a Van Damme roundhouse.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    I like the theatrical look on Sandor's face :))
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