James Bond Poetry

SeveSeve The island of Lemoy
edited October 2021 in Fan Creations Posts: 357
Inspired from reading the books


Who is that man in the mirror I see?
With his ironic look of enquiry
The grey blue eyes are wide and level,
Sharp and alert, with just a hint of the Devil
Dark and determined, a clean cut face,
With that one unruly lock that will never stay in place
I run my hand back through my straight black hair,
But in truth I prefer to see it hanging there
Like a question mark above my right eyebrow,
That asks, “Are you ready? Is it never or now?”

The good things in life are for those who dare,
So I don’t spend my evenings playing Solitaire
I’m not one to boast, but you can take my word,
When the going gets tough, I’m shaken not stirred!

Some say my mouth has a cruel line,
But given my profession that suits me fine
The three inch scar on my right cheek,
To remind me there is no mercy for the weak
One on my right shoulder and on the back of my right hand,
And others incurred when things didn’t go as planned
In the game I’ve chosen there are no holds barred,
We all deal seconds and death the final card

Roulette, Baccarat or a game of Dominoes,
The shows not over till the Iron Curtain falls
When the stakes are high I remain undeterred,
Take it to the limit, I’m shaken not stirred!

A hot bath followed by an ice cold shower,
A process of remarkable restorative power
With hair like mine you should always shave twice,
But old habits die hard, so once will suffice
I slip into my sea-island cotton shorts,
A heavy silk evening shirt, white of course
Dark blue trousers of navy serge,
Nothing to flashy if you want to merge
A knitted silk tie in a tasteful pattern,
Or a thin double ended bow of black satin
Appropriate dress for the occasion is a must,
But men who use the Windsor knot I distrust

Danger and the high-life, I take them as they come,
I’ve seen the world through the sight of my gun
They may seem outrageous, the stories you’ve heard,
But you better believe it; I’m shaken not stirred

I wear a Rolex Oyster perpetual watch,
And carry a flat light gun metal box
It holds fifty cigarettes, the Moreland brand,
Macedonian blend with the triple gold band
I light them with my jet black oxidised Ronson,
Check if it needs fuel by snapping the action
I slip the case into my left hip pocket,
Remove my billfold of notes and count it
The pressure is on but I need to relax,
Have one stiff drink and review the facts

Everyday could be my last so I Never Say Never,
Life is short and only Diamonds Are Forever
I’m no wise guy but here’s the word,
There’s no doubt about it; I’m shaken not stirred!

Take out the light chamois leather holster,
Slip it on to sit just below my left shoulder
Point 25 Berretta with a skeleton grip,
Semi-automatic, eight rounds in the clip
Pump the cartridges out on to the bed,
An ounce of prevention as someone once said
Inspect the gun; whip the action too and fro,
If something’s going to stick I need to know
Squeeze the trigger on the empty chambers,
Practise my draw on imaginary strangers
Carefully repack the spring-loaded magazine,
I invariably follow the same routine
Put up the safety catch and make a mental note,
Slip into my single-breasted dinner jacket coat
Verify in the mirror that the gun doesn’t show,
A last adjustment to my tie and I’m ready to go

There’s no room for sentiment in the life of a spy,
And no second chances so Live and Let Die
To say I’m a superhuman, well that’s just absurd,
Ice cool in a crisis, I’m shaken not stirred!

The toecaps of my shoes are lined with steel,
Patent leather uppers with a blade in the heal
I have been known to carry a knife,
On more than one occasion it has saved my life
Strapped to my forearm in time of need,
It’s comforting to know that I have something up my sleeve
Finally I take a tablet of Benzedrine,
To provide endurance and keep my senses keen
Attention to detail is the key to it all,
To succeed takes more than just Thunderballs

It’s my belief that You Only Live Twice,
When you’re born and when you look death in the face
They say that actions speak louder than words,
So decide for yourself, if I’m shaken not stirred!

Adapted from Ian Fleming by Seve


  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489

    that go bump

    on a Friday night.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,644
    "He's tall and he's dark
    Like a shark,
    he looks for trouble,
    that's why the zeros double,
    Mister Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!"
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.
    Posts: 8,552
    There is also a James Bond haiku thread and a James Bond limerick thread somewhere out there. Maybe we can somehow consolidate all those.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,644
    Good idea @j_w_pepper I had found this in my drafts and decided to add my poor two cents.
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.
    Posts: 8,552
    Well, @thedove, but your posting was just quoting song lyrics. On the other threads we had some original stuff, just like the OP here. But we should get this organized somehow.
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