The James Bond Guide to Healing a Broken Heart

TripAcesTripAces Universal Exports
in Bond Movies Posts: 4,588
Well, I have it bad, folks. I haven't posted much lately...been busy licking wounds. And I mean, they are huge, gaping wounds. Like most everyone, I have been through this before, but I don't ever recall it being this bad. I mean, it is really bad.

So...how can one draw inspiration from Bond? I keep thinking of Vesper's line to Bond in CR: "You're not going to let me in there, are you? You've got your armor back on." Is that the key? To box it up? Or do I need to drink my way out of it, as Bond attempts to with Mathis on the plane?

Then there's the old saying: "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone." Bond certainly does a lot of that. (But i don't look like Bond.) I'm not sure that'll work. Besides, as Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys says, "I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new."

Comments

  • Posts: 5,745
    Ignore them and replace them with something.

    While Bond can always manage to "get under someone", and you may not be able to, you (as I have) can replace the person you are without with other things: friends, exercise, movies, sports, etc. The goal is to work away from them. Minimizing the moments you feel alone will greatly decrease your longing for what you had.

    Also, delete them from all social media. Delete their friends if you have to. One of the hardest things for me to do is not "check up on them" after a breakup. But don't. You'll see them with someone else, or you'll see them having fun and being happy without you and it will do no good. Move on. Make yourself move on.

    Don't try to replace them. You should be focused on making yourself feel better (not alcohol or drugs or excessive food, but rather activities and things you enjoy; hobbies), you don't want to try and make yourself feel like you did. You can't replace their feeling, but you can find something else.

    My last tip is to be aware. Be objective. When you start to think about the situation, or them, or any aspect of the relationship - recognize it. Tell yourself it doesn't matter anymore. Tell yourself you've had enough. Tell yourself you want to be doing something else besides feeling sorry for yourself. Eventually the thoughts stop.

    In short: stay busy, be patient. It takes time, but as even you said, you've been through it before and you found something else. Work towards doing just that again.
  • doubleoegodoubleoego #LightWork
    Posts: 11,139
    First of all, getting women isn't about how you look but more about how you act. You don't need to look like Bond to get with and to sleep with women. Good looks are a contributing factor but it serves less than 50% of hooking up with women. Sex appeal is more about attitude than looks.
    Secondly, never allow yourself to ever be fully emotionally invested. That's not to say you need to be distant or a sociopath when it comes to relationships but just remember, life can fuck you at any given time, the trick is to even the odds and if things go sour, sure it's unfortunate but it's nothing to mope about. The world is too big and life is too short to allow another human being to leave you in a state of emotional wreckage. Take a holiday trip, spend time with friends, watch how your bank account isn't depleting as much and and appreciate the fact that there are so many more fish in the sea that you can not only have a better time with but not have to compromise a great deal on time and money. Learn to appreciate your own time and space, catch up with yourself and as @JWESTBROOK said be patient. We're all different people with different tastes and attitudes and I suppose it depends on what you're looking for but honestly speaking, my advice may not be popular to some but it has worked for me and I'm all the more happier for it. Never let anyone dictate your happiness and peace of mind. Be a man, set and live by your own rules. When you start investing all your emotion into someone that's the day you're screwed. I'm pretty sure your ex is reasonably ok and not feeling as devestated if at all so why should you? Go out, go somewhere, spend time with friends, meet new people and smile. Build up your confidence and watch how the women will come flocking to you. There's no time for heartache. Treat yourself to a good meal and drink and then go conquer the world!
  • Posts: 6,011
    Remember the good times, first and foremost. Try to forget the bad. Here's a song that sums up that philosophy perfectly :

  • Posts: 7,507
    I am sorry to hear that, @TripAces!

    Maybe travelling could be an idea? Bond is always on the run somewhere across the globe exploring stuff. Maybe that could give some new motivation? Exploring nature or other cultures has always worked for me when I feel down.
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