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mattjoes

New BLOFELD microwave, with SPECTRE henchman countdown timer!

About

Username: mattjoes
Location: SOMEDAY CONNERY (thanks RichardTheBruce)
Joined: January 2012
Visits: 5,505
Last Active: 11:58am
Roles: Member
Location: SOMEDAY CONNERY (thanks RichardTheBruce)
Favourite Fleming Novel: -Classified-
Favourite Bond Film: -Classified-
Favourite Bond Actor: -Classified-
Posts: 6,844

Activity

mattjoes changed his profile picture.

May 28
- Dragonpol
  James Bond Will Return in A Close Shave (1991).
  
  May 28
- mattjoes
  We must beard that in mind.
  
  May 28
- QBranch
  He had a five o'clock shadow due to the light at eleven o'clock.
  
  May 29
- mattjoes
  "Yo, Kamran, I need some more of that s**t, I swear I'll pay you back. Here, take Kara as insurance!"
  
  May 29
- Dragonpol
  Timothy Dalton patiently waiting for his third Bond film.
  
  May 29
- mattjoes
  Timothy Dalton IS Burt Kowalski.
  
  May 29
- Dragonpol
  Timothy Dalton will Return as James Bond in Without a Shadow of a Doubt.
  
  May 29
- mattjoes
  "I don't need no Jamsh Bond roluh, **hiccup**, if they don't want me I'll shust go bacc to my **hiccup** Shakesperreyan actingg."
  
  May 30
- Dragonpol
  "A razor? What's that?!"
  
  May 30
- QBranch
  Stubble Oh Seven.
  
  May 31
mattjoes

Sturdy and reliable.

May 7
- Benny
  Q - You describe it, and I'll enter the information into the computer.
  
  Bond - Padlock. Brass. Key to unlock. Stainless steel locking mechanism.
  
  May 7
- Dragonpol
  In before the Activity Page Locque.
  
  May 8
- mattjoes
  Q: "Thank you, Sharon. You can go, I'll Locque up."
  
  May 11
- mattjoes
  In Gothard City, don't forget to Locque the door at night.
  
  May 12
- Dragonpol
  Just a comment to padlock out the Activity Page.
  
  May 12
- QBranch
  mattjoes Good catch with "I'll Locque up". Do you think it was an intended reference?
  
  May 18
- mattjoes
  I don't know. It's subtle enough that it could have been a coincidence.
  
  May 18
- Dragonpol
  Is it strong and stable?
  
  May 18
- mattjoes
  Tough and unbreakable.
  
  May 21
- QBranch
  Hardened, and with more brass than brains.
  
  May 22
- mattjoes
  If only they were cheeks.
  
  May 22
- Dragonpol
  Are they brasshats or...?
  
  May 22
- mattjoes
  More like asshats.
  
  May 22
- Dragonpol
  I was too polite to say that...but yes.
  
  May 22
- mattjoes
  Oops. Guess it's time to Locque this conversation.
  
  May 22
- Dragonpol
  Let's Locque to the future.
  
  May 23
- mattjoes
  Here's to the next Emile-llion posts.
  
  May 24
- Dragonpol
  We've got a Locque in common. I also escaped from prison by strangling my psychiatrist.
  
  May 24
- mattjoes
  Now you and I have something in common. I also strangled your psychiatrist. I didn't do it to escape though, just as a hobby.
  
  May 25
- Dragonpol
  Oh, thanks for that. That guy was such a bore.
  
  May 25
- mattjoes
  He never bore that in mind, despite my repeated warnings.
  
  May 25
- Dragonpol
  I bored into his skull with my intense gaze.
  
  May 26
mattjoes

New BLOFELD microwave, with SPECTRE henchman countdown timer!

May 13
- Dragonpol
  Ping!
  
  May 13
- Dragonpol
  I put a roll of tin foil in for 10 minutes. It's going to BLO!
  
  May 14
- mattjoes
  The explosion will be FELD for miles.
  
  May 14
- Dragonpol
  Heating a meal in 4 minutes? A microwave would have seemed like a weapon of mass destruction were James Bond villains around in 1900.
  
  May 14
- mattjoes
  I remember the villain's plan involved microwaves in Batman Begins. Nolan's got you covered.
  
  May 14
- Dragonpol
  Jack Jersawitz: Weren't you the Penguin in Batman Part 2?
  
  May 15
- mattjoes
  He was even a candidate for mayor, like the real Penguin.
  
  May 17
- Dragonpol
  I'm his Number 1 caller. You know what I'm saying?
  
  May 17
- QBranch
  Press 'Reset' on Blofeld.
  
  May 20
- Dragonpol
  Blofeld will have a new identity in just 4 minutes.
  
  May 20
- mattjoes
  Dr. Evil was cryogenically frozen, but a fellow evil mastermind has just what it takes to help him come in from the cold.
  
  May 21
- Dragonpol
  Ding loved to hear that Ping. It meant yet another TV dinner was ready.
  
  May 21
- mattjoes
  Mr. Ling agreed, as did the Queen.
  
  May 21
- Dragonpol
  Mr Ling heard a Ping while listening to some Bing on the Ning-Po. It turned out it was his Ring. What a curious Fing!
  
  May 22
mattjoes changed his profile picture.

May 19
- TheSkyfallen06
  "I'm not like other women, Mr. Bond. I don't need a man to-"
  Two Minutes Later:
  
  May 19
- mattjoes
  "I'd rather get on the centrifuge trainer with Chang at the controls that listen to you."
  
  May 19
- Dragonpol
  "Phuyuck!"
  
  May 19
- mattjoes
  When facelifts go wrong.
  
  May 19
- mattjoes
  "No, Mister Moore, don't take your anger out on me! Get back, get back! Mi-- Mister Moore, noooooooo!"
  
  May 20
- Dragonpol
  "I shouldn't have had those fish cakes."
  
  May 21
mattjoes changed his profile picture.

May 13
- mattjoes
  Lovers' Rosy Stain
  
  May 13
- QBranch
  Splattroes.
  
  May 13
- mattjoes
  Think Pink.
  
  May 13
- Dragonpol
  Schloss Drache does Pride?
  
  May 13
mattjoes changed his profile picture.

May 2
- Dragonpol
  Blofeld's latest disguise was a corker!
  
  May 2
- Benny
  Looks like he’s on the jazz again
  
  May 2
- mattjoes
  Sheriff JW Peppard
  
  May 2
- Benny
  Breakfast At Ernst's?
  
  May 3
- Dragonpol
  Look what the cat dragged in.
  
  May 3
- mattjoes
  George J.W. Peppard as John Hannibal Smith
  Dink Benedict as Templeton "Face" Peck
  Dwight Schultz as H.M. "Howling Mad" Roger Moore-dock
  and
  Mr. Big as B.A. Baracus
  
  May 3
- Benny
  The next Bond girl revealed.
  
  May 5
- Dragonpol
  Rosa Klebb was ready to paint the town Red.
  
  May 5
- mattjoes
  She's got a face like a pig.
  
  May 5
- Dragonpol
  David Dragonpol: International Master of Disguise.
  
  May 5
- mattjoes
  Michael G. Wilson's cameos were getting more and more outrageous.
  
  May 7
- Dragonpol
  Mind the Gap.
  
  May 9
- mattjoes
  Starring David Letterman as John "Hannibal" Smith
  
  May 10
mattjoes changed his profile picture.

April 18
- mattjoes
  Kicking: Impossible
  
  April 18
- Dragonpol
  They made Bond's scrambled eggs wrong yet again!
  
  April 18
- mattjoes
  He got off on the wrong foot.
  
  April 19
- QBranch
  "Allow me to clear the table."
  
  April 20
- Dragonpol
  "Out of my way. I'm after that dine and dasher!"
  
  April 20
- mattjoes
  It was a recipe for disaster.
  
  April 20
- Dragonpol
  "An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this...LIQUID FILTH!"
  
  April 21
- mattjoes
  PSA: Always check there are no banana peels in your way. Otherwise, this happens.
  
  April 22
- Dragonpol
  A banana is a berry but a strawberry is not.
  
  April 22
- mattjoes
  He took the fall.
  
  April 22
- mattjoes
  "Health Department, surprise inspection!"
  
  April 23
- Dragonpol
  James Bond Will Return in Cook Fall.
  
  April 23
- QBranch
  And once again, poor old Felix was left to pick up the broken crockery.
  
  April 25
- mattjoes
  If you can't stand the kick, stay out of the kitchen.
  
  April 25
- mattjoes
  "Think on your sins!!"
  
  April 26
- QBranch
  "Waiter, there's a fly kick in my soup."
  
  April 27
- mattjoes
  Kung Food.
  
  April 27
- Dragonpol
  No one ever expects the Environmental Health inspection!
  
  May 6
mattjoes

April 9
- mattjoes
  After the sunset, Woody gets Pierced.
  
  April 9
- TheSkyfallen06
  How did you manage to leak my Dr. Fate x Carnage fanfiction? Oh, well, nevermind...
  
  April 9
- Benny
  And Pierce strikes like Thunderball!
  
  April 9
- mattjoes
  Die Another Gay
  
  April 10
- Dragonpol
  "Have I ever shown you my pincer movement?"
  
  April 10
- mattjoes
  After the sunset, Pierce gets Woody.
  
  April 10
- Dragonpol
  FBI stands for Former Bond Indecency.
  
  April 10
- mattjoes
  -Your PPK is digging into my back.
  -I am not carrying a gun.
  -Oh.
  
  April 11
- Dragonpol
  Scarpine was enjoying his day off from Zorin Industries.
  
  April 12
mattjoes changed his profile picture.

April 12
- Dragonpol
  mattOJes.
  
  April 12
- mattjoes
  I got nothing to say after that. How could I improve on that caption?
  
  April 13
- Dragonpol
  It just came to me. I suppose years of avatar commenting occasionally produces brilliance. 😉
  
  April 13
- QBranch
  No way, OJ.
  
  April 24
- Dragonpol
  If the avatar comment fits you must acquit.
  
  April 24
- QBranch
  From Rusher with Glove.
  
  April 26
- Dragonpol
  OJ RIPped a whole in the justice system.
  
  April 27
- Dragonpol
  *hole
  
  April 27
- QBranch
  *RIP to the 'w'.
  
  April 30
- Dragonpol
  In the modern parlance you are a W member, QBranch. 🙂
  
  April 30
- QBranch
  I get it. I'm a bit of a member, like Dubya.
  
  May 4
- Dragonpol
  John Gardner's Founder Member.
  
  May 8
mattjoes changed his profile picture.

April 7
- Dragonpol
  Chuck him on the barbie.
  
  April 7
- mattjoes
  He's everywhere!
  
  April 7
- Dragonpol
  He's a Chuck of all trades.
  
  April 7
- Benny
  Octochucky
  
  April 7
- mattjoes
  That was Moore Farrel than he could handle.
  
  April 8
- Dragonpol
  Permanent brain damage was an unfortunate side effect of Kamal's methods.
  
  April 8
- mattjoes
  Chuck and Rog in "Curare Dreams".
  
  April 8
- Dragonpol
  "Darling, I give you very best Chuck."
  
  April 8
- mattjoes
  He got Chucked to death.
  
  April 8
- Dragonpol
  "Come on Chuck, you know the drill. Chuck?"
  
  April 8
- mattjoes
  He never was too reliable when it came to physical tasks. Always running out of breath.
  
  April 9
- Benny
  Bond and Farrel are a BullsEye!
  
  April 9
- Dragonpol
  Chuck him in a sack. Job done.
  
  April 9
- mattjoes
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWtfgltJGsc&t=2923s
  
  April 9
- Dragonpol
  He really shouldn't have had that stuffed sheep's head.
  
  April 9

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