James Bond haiku-anything goes

Comments

• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  October 2020 Posts: 12,988

  Easy to forget
  Valuable things we have.
  This month October.
  
  
  

  I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.
  --Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  November 2020 Posts: 12,988

  Noted separately by @Thunderfinger, remembering haiku master Matsuo Bashō passed this date in 1694.
  
  
  
  Don't wait for it to--
  Don't even want it to happ'n.
  Just watch what does happ'n.
  
  
  
• IGotABrudder UK

  November 2020 Posts: 631

  I think of a quote
  for the quote thread. Then someone
  else beats me to it
• Gatecrasher Classified

  November 2020 Posts: 265

  His name’s Bond, James Bond
  He likes his martinis dry
  Yeah, shaken...not stirred.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  December 2020 Posts: 12,988

  You can consider
  "Gurney" is a funny word.
  Unless you're on one.
• Thrasos

  December 2020 edited December 2020 Posts: 1,469

  Nick Nack, Tabasco!
  But the hot sauce really is
  sexy Andrea...............................................
  
  M grounds Bond. But Bond,
  undeterred, still seeks Blofeld.
  In the end, Bond wins.
  
  Back to the salt mines!
  Let us continue our struggle.
  Your place or mine.
  
  Bond tries to stop Orlov,
  then shoots three soldiers dead!
  Jump on that train fast!
  
  Who the hell does Doctor
  No think he is? He won't
  get away with it.
  
  Four Vespers coming
  right up. One says "Keep the fruit".
  Shall we play cards now?
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 2021 Posts: 12,988

  Twenty twenty-one.
  But still there's something missing.
  No No Time To Die.
• j_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.

  January 2021 Posts: 8,677

  RichardTheBruce wrote: »

  Twenty twenty-one.
  But still there's something missing.
  No No Time To Die.

  
  Are you so surprised?
  There's something holding it up
  Coronavirus.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 2021 Posts: 12,988

  My thinking here is
  To just watch what does happen.
  It'll be worth the wait.
  
  
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 2021 edited January 2021 Posts: 12,988

  Apted legacy.
  Documentaries and Bond.
  And number seven.
• Thunderfinger Das Boot Hill

  January 2021 Posts: 45,489

  These are all very good.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 2021 Posts: 12,988

  Now Tanya Roberts.
  Gorgeous. The lady can cook.
  Angel in Heaven.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  February 2021 Posts: 12,988

  Life's small challenges.
  Waiting for Bond 25.
  Our own Groundhog Day.
  
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  November 2022 Posts: 12,988

  East Bay Times reports winners in the James Bond Haiku Contest. 2008.
  

  

  Winners in the James Bond haiku contest

  See the complete article here:
  

  https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2008/11/07/winners-in-the-james-bond-haiku-contest/

  
  
  Daniel Craig is the latest James Bond.
  By Jackie Burrell | [email protected] | Bay Area News Group
  PUBLISHED: November 7, 2008.
  
  We must have the cleverest readers on the planet. From Moneypenny to M, Q’s gadgets and those amorously named Bond girls, your James Bond haiku tweaked every aspect of Ian Fleming’s oeuvre. Compared to these, the newest Bond flick, “Quantum of Solace,” is bound to disappoint!

  James, you’re my Double-O,
  I am your Moneypenny.
  Please choose ME this time.
  — Kat Mulkey, Lafayette
  
  I purr, “Bond, James Bond,”
  as she warmly asks my name,
  and my wife kicks me.
  — Bruce Roberts, Hayward
  
  Bond’s sexy symbols
  A tux, a cocktail, a gun
  Leave me shakn’ AND stirred
  — Debbie Sager, Pleasanton
  
  Double 0 seven.
  Bond, gets all the attention.
  Neglected. 0 six.
  — Pete Cuddyre, Oakland
  
  Our man, Bond, James Bond
  bests SPECTRE’s latest effort, then follows his heart.
  — Matt Cummings, Oakland
  
  Sean had such elan
  Pierce was suave in stylish duds
  “I’m Bond “… James,” they purred.
  — Norma J. Shattuck, Oakland
  
  Venti mocha, please,
  Shaken, not stirred. Yes, I’ll wait
  while you ponder that.
  — Bruce Roberts, Hayward
  
  Oh, to be a Bond
  girl. But even young, I was
  no Halle Berry.
  — Sherry Sheehan, Crockett
  
  Sean, Roger, Pierce, Tim
  Hang up the black tuxedo
  Blond Bond, oh those eyes.
  — Stacey Gustafson, Pleasanton
  
  On missions for M
  Gorgeous girls all around him
  His choices conflict.
  — Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
  
  Super Brit is back!
  Sleek, sexy, facing vile foes;
  Fans groove on escape.
  — Norma J. Shattuck, Oakland
  
  Obtain decoder,
  Kill SPECTRE agent on train
  From Russia With Love
  — Tim Hurson, Livermore
  
  Bond, James Bond’s beauty.
  Sleek, gimmicked, chasing evil.
  Aston Martin wheels.
  — Rodney Bittencurt, Livermore
  
  All those Bond ladies
  With curious names ‘Galore’
  Which do you recall?
  — Mike Takayanagi, Fremont
  
  “Bond, James Bond,” he says.
  Then, “Shaken, not stirred,” while I,
  eyes on screen, am both.
  — Sherry Sheehan, Crockett
  
  In Aston Martin
  Bond presses button, launching
  multiple missiles.
  — Vernon Parsley, Walnut Creek
  
  “Sorry I blew up
  your car, Officer. Q said
  it couldn’t be done.”
  — Bruce Roberts, Hayward
  
  That most famous drink,
  “Shaken not stirred,” certainly
  No appletini!
  — Belinda M. Danielson, Pleasant Hill
  
  Bond does not stir me.
  He’s a man’s fantasy spy.
  Give me Jason Bourne.
  — Judy Pietrzak, Oakland

  
  Runners-up in the James Bond Haiku Contest

  Double Agent Man
  Working for the enemy
  Short is your life span
  – Bethanne Keirnan, Pleasanton
  
  Casino Royale
  Win at Baccarat, hit eight
  The first was the best
  – Vernon Parsley, Walnut Creek
  
  Her lips brush his neck.
  James is shaken, but not stirred.
  She is M’s suspect.
  – Rodney Bittencurt, Livermore
  
  Craig, Connery, one
  Moore. Blond? Scottish? Londoner?
  Which suit is dealt now?
  – Sherry Weaver Smith, San Ramon
  
  Oh, James! Twenty one
  Beautiful Bond girls there’ve been.
  Skimpy wardrobes all!
  – Belinda M. Danielson, Pleasant Hill
  
  Double o seven
  handsome man on a mission
  action, guns, and girls
  – Donna Merry, Knightsen
  
  Sophisticated
  gadget carrying icon
  James Bond – film legend
  – Donna Merry, Knightsen
  
  Fair haired Daniel Craig,
  Latest Double Oh Seven.
  Blond? James Blond? Oh no!
  – Yvette Ratliff, Dublin
  
  Debonair James Bond
  Orders a dry Martini
  Shake, but never stir.
  – Vernon Parsley, Walnut Creek
  
  Martini in hand
  kills without batting an eye
  man of action Bond
  – Donna Merry, Knightsen
  
  Brave One Needling Death.
  Juggling Amorous Moves, Else Stealth.
  Babes Or Nasty Dudes.
  – Rodney Bittencurt, Livermore
  
  Down the bar I heard
  “Martini, shaken not stirred”
  Was it James – James Bond?
  – Mike Takayanagi, Fremont
  
  Created by I.
  Fleming in the fifties, Bond
  still energizes.
  – Sherry Sheehan, Crockett
  
  The Bond formula
  Mingles danger and desire
  With sly humor too.
  – Norma J. Shattuck, Oakland
  
  Shaken but not stirred,
  Evades grip of Dr. No,
  The name’s Bond, James Bond
  – Tim Hurson, Livermore
  
  James Bond in peril
  Evil and traps surround him
  Saved by Q’s magic.
  – Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
  
  Trained to save England
  No matter what it costs him
  The price is too high.
  – Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
  
  With girls and gadgets
  Bond travels the world over,
  One last adventure.
  – Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
  
  Sharp and debonair,
  dubious fiends beware, the
  secret agent man!
  – Matt Cummings, Oakland
  
  Urbane to the max
  Bond is a man of culture
  Manners are his thing
  – Pat Hobbs, Dublin
  
  A rugged man’s man,
  A hot lover of women,
  Double “O” Seven.
  – Jo Ann Lew, Union City
  
  In movies and books
  Double O Seven a spy
  Lived dangerously.
  – Charles Minshall
  
  The Spy Who Loved Me,
  Never Say Never Again,
  From Russia With Love
  – Shirley Sprague, Concord
  
  Bond’s star is rising
  Box-office bucks burgeon
  His namesake’s falling
  – John Barry, Danville
  
  Early Bonds are best
  Those flicks’ soundtracks’ composer
  The great John Barry
  – John Barry, Danville
  
  Hollywood action
  3 lines of 5-7-5
  can’t describe James Bond!
  – Nona Mock Wyman, Walnut Creek
  
  James, I drive a Ford,
  You drive an Aston-Martin –
  It’s as if we’re twins!
  – Bruce Roberts, Hayward
  
  As my new helper,
  May I call you Pussy Galore?
  Harassment? No, why?
  – Bruce Roberts, Hayward
  
  Seductive women,
  Dangerous gadgets, fast cars –
  007!
  – Bruce Roberts, Hayward

  After nine consecutive weeks of haiku, we’re going to try something new. This time around, we’re seeking limericks inspired by Thanksgiving — pilgrims, pumpkin pie, Aunt Mildred, or whatever evokes the holiday for you and does not involve the word “Nantucket” or anything, er, similar. Send your non-naughty limerick(s) — Google “how to write a limerick” if you need a primer on rhyme schemes — to [email protected] by noon Thursday, Nov. 20. The winner reaps the usual immortal glory and his or her choice from our selection of just-published hardcover books.

  
  
  
• j_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.

  November 2022 Posts: 8,677

  We could have written those, couldn't we?
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  November 2022 Posts: 12,988

  Excepting the last,
  The prose in this discussion
  Is superior.
• j_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.

  November 2022 Posts: 8,677

  Let's keep it that way
  But be sure of our prowess
  To be just better. :-)
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  December 2022 Posts: 12,988

  Yuletide adventure.
  Bond in season once again.
  O-H-M-S-S.
• j_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.

  December 2022 Posts: 8,677

  You're totally right
  Still we chose to watch last night
  Beverly Hills Cop.
• NickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada

  December 2022 Posts: 7,526

  My next film will be
  Spectre again, probably,
  Despite the season.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 2023 Posts: 12,988

  When it's winter sports.
  Snowbody does it better.
  Even in Spectre.
• j_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.

  January 2023 Posts: 8,677

  A Happy New Year!
  Don't expect it this year but
  James Bond will return.
• Jedothek Pittsburgh USA

  September 2023 Posts: 1

  Call me picky if you want, but I wish to correct your presentation of Fleming's haiku because as you quote it it's not 17 syllables and so makes him look sloppy. it's really
  
  You only live twice:
  Once when you're born,
  Once when you look death in the face.
  
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  September 2023 Posts: 12,988

  @Thunderfinger's post
  Does quote Fleming correctly
  Following the book.
  
  Really by design
  The number of syllables
  Will not be exact.
  
  But the idea
  Of @Thunderfinger's return
  Is a great notion.
  
  

  In the novel You Only Live Twice, James Bond makes an attempt at writing a haiku poem written in the Basho style:
  
  You only live twice
  Once when you are born
  And once when you look death in the face
  
  A traditional haiku consists of 17 syllables-five in the first line, seven syllables in the second line and five syllables in the third and final line. Bond himself deviated from this(5-5-9), and so can we. I thought it would be fun to see what you well-spoken people can come up with, inspired by the various films. We should keep it to three lines and less than 20 syllables in total however. It is all for fun, so anything goes.

  
  
  
  

  You Only Live Twice, Ian Fleming, 1964.
  "Chapter 11 - Anatomy Class"

  Tiger was in a lecturing mood. He was determined to correct Bond's boorish ignorance of Japanese culture. 'Bondo-san, I wonder if I will ever get you to appreciate the nuances of the Japanese tanka, or of the haiku, which are the classical forms of Japanese verse. Have you ever heard of Basho, for instance?'
  
  'No,' said Bond with polite interest. 'Who's he?'
  
  'Just so,' said Tiger bitterly. 'And yet you would think me grossly uneducated if I had never heard of Shakespeare, Homer, Dante, Cervantes, Goethe. And yet Basho, who lived in the seventeenth century, is the equal of any of them.'
  
  'What did he write?'
  
  'He was an itinerant poet. He was particularly at home with the haiku, the verse of seventeen syllables.' Tiger assumed a contemplative expression. He intoned:

  
  'In the bitter radish
  that bites into me, I feel
  the autumn wind.
  

  'Does that not say anything to you? Or this:

  
  'The butterfly is perfuming
  its wings, in the scent
  of the orchid.
  

  'You do not grasp the beauty of that image?'
  
  'Rather elusive compared to Shakespeare.'

  
  'In the fisherman's hut
  mingled with dried shrimps
  crickets are chirping.'
  

  Tiger looked at him hopefully.
  
  'Can't get the hang of that one,' said Bond apologetically.
  
  'You do not catch the still-life quality of these verses? The flash of insight into humanity, into nature? Now, do me a favour, Bondo-san. Write a haiku for me yourself. I am sure you could get the hang of it. After all you must have had some education?'
  
  Bond laughed. 'Mostly in Latin and Greek. All about Caesar and Balbus and so on. Absolutely no help in ordering a cup of coffee in Rome or Athens after I'd left school. And things like trigonometry, which I've totally forgotten. But give me a pen and a piece of paper and I'll have a bash, if you'll forgive the bad joke.' Tiger handed them over and Bond put his head in his hands. Finally, after much crossing out and rewriting he said, 'Tiger, how's this? It makes just as much sense as old Basho and it's much more pithy.' He read out:

  
  'You only live twice:
  Once when you are born
  And once when you look death in the face.'
  
  

  Tiger clapped his hands softly. He said with real delight, 'But that is excellent, Bondo-san. Most sincere.' He took the pen and paper and jotted some ideograms up the page. He shook his head. 'No, it won't do in Japanese. You have the wrong number of syllables. But it is a most honourable attempt.' He looked keenly at Bond. 'You were perhaps thinking of your mission?'
  
  'Perhaps,' said Bond with indifference.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  December 2023 Posts: 12,988

  
  Twenty twenty three.
  Higson. Dynamite. IO.
  James Bond will return.
  
  
  
  

  
  
• LucknFate 007 In New York

  January 1 Posts: 1,427

  JWESTBROOK wrote: »

  Quantum Of Solace
  The quest for a lover's peace
  Through vengeance of death

  JWESTBROOK wrote: »

  Adrift but not missed
  Shadows call him back
  The aging spy is resurrected
  
  The day of Sky Fall
  From shadows death crawls
  And only brave men stand tall.

  JWESTBROOK wrote: »

  Goodnight Goodnight sleep well my dear James
  Tomorrow brings you
  The world to save

  JWESTBROOK wrote: »

  The World's a target
  And the threat is real
  You can depend on one man

  JWESTBROOK wrote: »

  Comfort through distance
  And skill with a scope
  A view to a kill
  
  A deafening crack
  The birds fly as the man falls
  To live and let die
  
  A mission complete
  Never nervous is the spy
  On Her Majesty's Secret Service
  
  

  
  These are quite good when trying, as are many of the others. Here's a new one:
  
  Tomorrow Brings The World
  Danger, Love, and Adventure
  James Bond Will Return
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 20 Posts: 12,988

  
  Twenty twenty-four.
  Dynamite. La La. Sherwood.
  James Bond has returned.
  
  
  
  

  
  
• j_w_pepper Born on the bayou. I can still hear my old hound dog barkin'.

  January 20 edited January 20 Posts: 8,677

  Bond's fate intertwines,
  No Time to Die, secrets waltz,
  Echoes of gunfire.
  
  Disclosure: This is the result of me asking ChatGPT to write a haiku about NTTD.
  
  And here's its take on writing a sonnet about GE:
  
  In shadows cast on screens of gleaming gold,
  A world unfolds, where secrets tightly held,
  GoldenEye spies a tale to be told,
  Through echoes of the past, a story swelled.
  
  Piercing the night with steel and steady gaze,
  Bond stands amidst a dance of smoke and flame,
  A flicker in his eye, a daring blaze,
  In every move, a touch of lethal aim.
  
  Through corridors of deceit, he strides,
  Reflections shimmer in a cold façade,
  A chessboard of intrigue where danger hides,
  Yet 007, unyielding, plays his card.
  
  GoldenEye's legacy, a timeless quest,
  In pixels and in deeds, the spy is best.
  
  Not bad. Not bad at all. And finally for now, an AI limerick about LALD:
  
  In the world where secrets conspire,
  Bond faced danger, flames, and fire.
  With voodoo and crime,
  In the tropics' hot clime,
  Live and Let Die, his wit did inspire.
• RichardTheBruce I'm motivated by my Duty.

  January 20 edited January 20 Posts: 12,988

  That is pretty good,
  @j_w_pepper.
  Sans humanity.
• LucknFate 007 In New York

  January 21 Posts: 1,427

  Pretty good until you realize Bond is playing cards at a chess match.