Coach the Bond Villains: Keys to Victory

AntiLocqueBrakesAntiLocqueBrakes The edge
in Bond Movies Posts: 538
23 have tried and 23 have failed versus James Bond. From brainaics, to muscle-heads, to the probably insane, all have seen their schemes thwarted by 007.

Advise our past villains. Pick any movies you want. How could they have avoided defeat? Where were the missed opportunities?

Comments

  • TripAcesTripAces Universal Exports
    Posts: 4,554
    Well, most of their missed opportunities were the result of simply not killing Bond when they had the chance:

    Dr. No had him at dinner...could have poisoned or killed him right there on the spot and instead, put him in a cell with an opportunity to escape.

    Grant had him alone, gun on him, and decided to chit-chat.

    Goldfinger decided to play laserbeam to the crotch instead of simply killing him.


    You get the idea. It's not I who can coach the Bond villains...it's Scott Evil who bluntly said, in terms of Austin Powers: "Just shoot him." :-)
  • DariusDarius UK
    Posts: 354
    TripAces wrote: »
    You get the idea. It's not I who can coach the Bond villains...it's Scott Evil who bluntly said, in terms of Austin Powers: "Just shoot him." :-)

    Like this...




  • AntiLocqueBrakesAntiLocqueBrakes The edge
    Posts: 538
    Haha. I was afraid it would come to this.
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    TripAces wrote: »
    Well, most of their missed opportunities were the result of simply not killing Bond when they had the chance:

    Dr. No had him at dinner...could have poisoned or killed him right there on the spot and instead, put him in a cell with an opportunity to escape.

    Grant had him alone, gun on him, and decided to chit-chat.

    Goldfinger decided to play laserbeam to the crotch instead of simply killing him.



    You get the idea. It's not I who can coach the Bond villains...it's Scott Evil who bluntly said, in terms of Austin Powers: "Just shoot him." :-)


    ROFL! Nice! =))
  • ^ This vid is perfect!
  • ForYourEyesOnlyForYourEyesOnly In the untained cradle of the heavens
    Posts: 1,984
    Seems like a fun thread. Stromberg probably had Bond at the table if he shot first instead of talking.

    And Blofeld had so many chances to kill Bond, I wonder why he never decided to do so.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,953
    A different tack on this thread might be tweak the villains plan to increase the likelihood of success.

    For example, if I was Drax and one of my Moonraker shuttles were defective I would just make another one. Why hijack one from Britain and arouse any suspicion. If Drax had merely manufactured another one no hijacking. No hijacking, no Bond to interfere in my plans.

    Failing that, why after first meeting Bond does Drax say "Take Care of Mister Bond. See that some harm comes to him." Wouldn't a better plan be for him to press Bond to cucumber sandwich and provide a tour of the facility and see Bond off to the airport. Why attempt to kill or harm him at all. By doing this Bond's suspicions are raised and the game is afoot.

    So what other misses are there within a villains plan?
  • Posts: 4,023
    Do other movie villains let the hero get away?
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,953
    vzok wrote: »
    Do other movie villains let the hero get away?

    It's a common story line. Look at Lethal Weapon. They are torturing Riggs...why? He can give them no new information. They would be better served killing him. Look at Superman the Movie. Luthor throw kryptonite on Superman (good plan) then proceeds to leave the area and not make sure he's dead. I could go on, but yes often the villain allows a chance of survival to the hero.
  • AntiLocqueBrakesAntiLocqueBrakes The edge
    Posts: 538
    thedove wrote: »
    A different tack on this thread might be tweak the villains plan to increase the likelihood of success.

    For example, if I was Drax and one of my Moonraker shuttles were defective I would just make another one. Why hijack one from Britain and arouse any suspicion. If Drax had merely manufactured another one no hijacking. No hijacking, no Bond to interfere in my plans.

    Failing that, why after first meeting Bond does Drax say "Take Care of Mister Bond. See that some harm comes to him." Wouldn't a better plan be for him to press Bond to cucumber sandwich and provide a tour of the facility and see Bond off to the airport. Why attempt to kill or harm him at all. By doing this Bond's suspicions are raised and the game is afoot.

    So what other misses are there within a villains plan?

    Whoa...resurrected this one.

    Good one. Saving "Just shoot him" for another thread... I would pick the movie right after Moonraker. In For Your Eyes Only, Kristatos needed to have his divers ready to find the ATAC machine on the sunken St. Georges a lot earlier in the film. Similar to what Largo did in Thunderball. He knew when the mine was going to hit the ship. Have the divers ready. Get the ATAC machine. Then the movie becomes about Bond trying to the machine - having no idea initially who has it. By that time, the machine is handed over to the KGB and it's a wrap. Instead, Bond is led directly to the machine and his two most likely suspects and figures out it's Kristatos who is responsible.
  • Posts: 7,500
    I guess this is as good a place as any to reveal my only real gripe story wise with FRWL. We all know the famous line where Grant exclaims; "My orders are to kill you and deliver the Lector. How I do it is my business. The first one won´t kill you, not the second, not even the third. Not until you crawl over here and kiss my foot!" It is a nice intense line, and makes for a dramatic moment, but it makes absolutely no sense at all! Grant "does" have orders on how to kill Bond! It is supposed to look like a suicide!

    It is one of the best scenes in the franchise, but I always feel a little annoyed with that line whenever I watch it...
  • WalecsWalecs On Her Majesty's Secret Service
    Posts: 3,157
    Darius wrote: »
    TripAces wrote: »
    You get the idea. It's not I who can coach the Bond villains...it's Scott Evil who bluntly said, in terms of Austin Powers: "Just shoot him." :-)

    Like this...




    =)) =)) =)) =)) =))
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,953
    jobo wrote: »
    I guess this is as good a place as any to reveal my only real gripe story wise with FRWL. We all know the famous line where Grant exclaims; "My orders are to kill you and deliver the Lector. How I do it is my business. The first one won´t kill you, not the second, not even the third. Not until you crawl over here and kiss my foot!" It is a nice intense line, and makes for a dramatic moment, but it makes absolutely no sense at all! Grant "does" have orders on how to kill Bond! It is supposed to look like a suicide!

    It is one of the best scenes in the franchise, but I always feel a little annoyed with that line whenever I watch it...

    I agree with this totally. I have tried to justify it by this logic. The British government wouldn't want the embarrassment of having one of their agents killed in such a way so they would feed the suicide angle to the police and media. Flimsy I know but only thing that makes sense. Otherwise getting 3-4 bullets in the body will rule out suicide.

    Anyway I think it's the perfect thing to put into this thread.

    I like your thinking @AntiLocqueBrakes I was never sure if that mine was just there by accident or whether the Russians were responsible. If it was indeed the Russians then Kristatos should have jumped right in without delay. Doesn't Gogol say they contacted their "usual representative" in the area?
  • edited August 2019 Posts: 7,500
    thedove wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    I guess this is as good a place as any to reveal my only real gripe story wise with FRWL. We all know the famous line where Grant exclaims; "My orders are to kill you and deliver the Lector. How I do it is my business. The first one won´t kill you, not the second, not even the third. Not until you crawl over here and kiss my foot!" It is a nice intense line, and makes for a dramatic moment, but it makes absolutely no sense at all! Grant "does" have orders on how to kill Bond! It is supposed to look like a suicide!

    It is one of the best scenes in the franchise, but I always feel a little annoyed with that line whenever I watch it...

    I agree with this totally. I have tried to justify it by this logic. The British government wouldn't want the embarrassment of having one of their agents killed in such a way so they would feed the suicide angle to the police and media. Flimsy I know but only thing that makes sense. Otherwise getting 3-4 bullets in the body will rule out suicide.

    Anyway I think it's the perfect thing to put into this thread.

    I like your thinking @AntiLocqueBrakes I was never sure if that mine was just there by accident or whether the Russians were responsible. If it was indeed the Russians then Kristatos should have jumped right in without delay. Doesn't Gogol say they contacted their "usual representative" in the area?


    That at least makes a lot more sense than my explanation: That Bond is a known sado machosist who enjoys torture and would like to go in a painful way ;)

    But there is obviously no point in making sense of it. It is incredible when watching the film to think that the script of FRWL was being rewritten during filming. This is probably the only instance where it really shows. The writers who worked on that scene were obviously not all on the same wavelength.
  • Posts: 4,023
    Could just be that Grant the sadist was lying to Bond.
  • Posts: 7,500
    vzok wrote: »
    Could just be that Grant the sadist was lying to Bond.

    Well, Bond is not stupid is he? He should also spot the contradiction.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,953
    Now if only Goldfinger hadn't been continuing his smuggling operation while plotting and planning Operation Grand Slam. This is why the British government is on to him. Even Felix says at the start of the film "He's clean as far as CIA is concerned."

    Greed is the undoing of many a villain over the course of the series and at least this greed is somewhat explained by Goldfinger over the course of the film. He tells Bond that he "welcomes any enterprise which will increase my stock, which is considerable." But only if he had suspended his smuggling activities like Ling had wanted him to then there is no British agent looking into his activity.
  • AntiLocqueBrakesAntiLocqueBrakes The edge
    Posts: 538
    thedove wrote: »
    Now if only Goldfinger hadn't been continuing his smuggling operation while plotting and planning Operation Grand Slam. This is why the British government is on to him. Even Felix says at the start of the film "He's clean as far as CIA is concerned."

    Greed is the undoing of many a villain over the course of the series and at least this greed is somewhat explained by Goldfinger over the course of the film. He tells Bond that he "welcomes any enterprise which will increase my stock, which is considerable." But only if he had suspended his smuggling activities like Ling had wanted him to then there is no British agent looking into his activity.

    This is a great post! It seems like every villain has at least two illegal agendas. Some sort of front and the real one. Just get to Grand Slam already.
  • edited August 2019 Posts: 7,500
    thedove wrote: »
    Now if only Goldfinger hadn't been continuing his smuggling operation while plotting and planning Operation Grand Slam. This is why the British government is on to him. Even Felix says at the start of the film "He's clean as far as CIA is concerned."

    Greed is the undoing of many a villain over the course of the series and at least this greed is somewhat explained by Goldfinger over the course of the film. He tells Bond that he "welcomes any enterprise which will increase my stock, which is considerable." But only if he had suspended his smuggling activities like Ling had wanted him to then there is no British agent looking into his activity.

    This is a great post! It seems like every villain has at least two illegal agendas. Some sort of front and the real one. Just get to Grand Slam already.

    It seems like a common trait with the villains Fleming created. They have this almost psychotic greed which make it impossible for them to pass up a chance to cheat or break the law, regardless of how minimal the gain is and the risk involved.

    Edit: Come to think of it, it also speeks of an element of grandiose arrogance: That they are above the law, too clever and powerful to be stopped. Especially in the case of Goldfinger who already knows he is being trailed by someone he must assume is an agent of some sort.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,953
    Yes he tells Bond "You've been recognized, lets say by one of your opposite numbers, who is also licence to kill." Which I always wondered who Goldfinger was talking about. It can't be Ling? Could it be someone else within the Chinese Intelligence community?

    Anyway, yes Bond villains all tend to have the fault of thinking they are above any law.

    I think there are a few plots where Bond is merely on a straight forward mission. In some cases the villains are trapping him. FRWL and FYEO fit this bill. There is no other scheme going on. Only in FRWL they are trying to set up Bond and the British Secret Service for a fall.

    Another big miss is for Big/Kananga in LALD. Why kill 3 British agents over the course of a day? I can't remember who died in St. Monique but why have British intelligence find the body? Is it possible to kill someone through headphones? I never understood how the guy at the United Nations would die from that sound.
  • AntiLocqueBrakesAntiLocqueBrakes The edge
    Posts: 538
    thedove wrote: »
    Another big miss is for Big/Kananga in LALD. Why kill 3 British agents over the course of a day? I can't remember who died in St. Monique but why have British intelligence find the body? Is it possible to kill someone through headphones? I never understood how the guy at the United Nations would die from that sound.

    Yeah. That's one of the strangest kills in all Bond-dom. I guess the agents were getting hot on the heroin operation and Kananga needed them out of the way. Similar to the Dr. No opening sequence.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 4,953
    The difference with Kananga and Doc No is that Kananga is also Mr Big. I'd only kill someone who was on to the Saint Monqiue angle. Killing someone who is looking Mr. Big puts him on the sight lines quickly. At least in DN, the good doctor was killing someone who was on to him and it was one person.
  • Posts: 7,500
    In all honesty the plot of LALD is a stupid mess, perhaps the worst dross of a story in the series! Trying to analyse it is a waste of time. Somehow the mood of the film, a decent boat chase, the score and Roger Moore make it a reasonably enjoyable entry, but I still honestly feel a tint of anger evoking every time I hear the name Tom Mankiewitz, thinking of the fact that he was actually allowed to do this to Bond. Talk about having a bad influence on the series...
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