BOND FILM STATISTICS #09 Forklift/Ground Conveyor Appearances

BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
edited February 11 in Bond Movies Posts: 9,029
On an approximately monthly basis we will give you interesting, fun and unusual statistics about the James Bond movies.

Overview:
#01 Time, when James Bond, the character, first appears on screen and when he talks - for each movie, presented by @BondJasonBond006 and @PropertyOfALady
#02 First flirts, kills, and sexy time for Mr Bond in each film, presented by @PropertyOfALady
#03 Moneypenny, everything about Lois, all about Eve, it’s a Bliss to watch Bond. presented by @BondJasonBond006 and @PropertyOfALady
#04 Moneypenny speaks! presented by @MooseWithFleas and @PropertyOfALady

on PAGE 6 top you will find:
#05 THE ANIMALS OF BOND presented by @Birdleson

on PAGE 8 top you will find:
#06 POP CULTURE and ART REFERENCES IN BOND presented by @all

on PAGE 10 top you will find:
#07 SONGS, MUSIC, THEMES used or referenced IN BOND presented by @all

on PAGE 10, scroll down, you will find:
#08 LONGEST TAKE in every BOND film @BondAficionado

on PAGE 11, scroll down, you will find:
#09 Forklift/Ground Conveyor Appearances

#01 Time, when James Bond, the character, first appears on screen and when he talks - for each movie, presented by @BondJasonBond006 and @PropertyOfALady

Appears / Talks
07:21 DN 07:50 / "I admire you're courage, Miss... uh...?"
17:59 FRWL 18:04 / "I couldn't agree with him more." (Bond only appears after the PTS)
01:03 GF 03:05 / "Thank you."
00:44 TB 00:50 / "At this moment. Rather him than me."
05:01 YOLT 05:08 / "Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?"
01:40 OHMSS 04:34 / "Good morning! My name's Bond. James Bond."
01:31 DAF 00:55 / "Where is he?" (You only hear Bond and only see him later)
07:41 LALD 08:12 / "You're not married by any chance, are you?"
10:50 TMWTGG 10:50 / "Good morning, sir. Colthorpe. Chief of Staff.
04:48 TSWLM 05:01 / "Let me try and enlarge your vocabulary."
02:35 MR 02:47 / "I don't think I'm ever going to fly with anyone else."
00:45 FYEO 01:18 / "It usually is. Thank you."
01:07 NSNA 04:38 / "Not to shabby, sir."
00:37 OP 01:37 / "You didn't tell me, that there's going to be this much security.
00:54 AVTAK 05:19 / "There was a heck of a crowd on the piste."
03:31 TLD 07:14 / "I need to use your phone. She'll call you back."
01:18 LTK 01:25 / "Relax, Felix."
01:09 GE 03:07 / "Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock."
04:45 TND 04:50 / "Filthy habit."
00:28 TWINE 00:54 / "If you can't trust a Swiss banker, what's the world come to?"
01:51 DAD 04:58 / "Me too. My African military friends owe you many thanks. Colonel Moon."
01:15 CR 01:14 / "M really doesn't mind you earning a little money on the side, Dryden."
00:55 QOS 04:08 / "It's time to get out."
00:39 SF 01:26 / "Ronson's down. He needs medical evac."
01:25 SP 03:55 / "I won't be long."

Gaps between appearance and talking in seconds ranking:
1-5: TMWTGG 0 / CR 1 / FRWL 5 / TND 5 / TB 6
6-10: LTK 7 / YOLT 7 / MR 12 / TSWLM 13 / TWINE 26
11-15: DN 29 / LALD 31 / FYEO 33 / DAF 36 / SF 47
16-20: OP 60 / GE 118 / GF 122 / SP 150 / OHMSS 174
21-25: DAD 3m7s / QOS 3m13s / NSNA 3m31s / TLD 3m43s / AVTAK 4m27s

Ranking:
Appearance:
01 TWINE 0:28
02 OP 0:37
03 SF 0:39
04 FYEO 0:43
05 TB 0:44
06 AVTAK 0:54
07 QOS 0:55
08 GF 1:03
09 NSNA 1:07
10 GE 1:09
11 CR 1:15
12 LTK 1:18
13 SP 1:25
14 DAF 1:31
15 OHMSS 1:40
16 DAD 1:51
17 MR 2:35
18 TLD 3:31
19 TND 4:45
20 TSWLM 4:48
21 YOLT 5:01
22 DN 7:21
23 LALD 7:41
24 TMWTGG 10:50
25 FRWL 17:59
If you count the fake James Bond played by Connery as first appearance in FRWL at 00:34 it's the second fastest appearance.

Talking:
01 TB 0:50
02 TWINE 0:54
03 DAF 0:55
04 CR 1:14
05 FYEO 1:18
06 LTK 1:25
07 SF 1:26
08 OP 1:37
09 MR 2:47
10 GF 3:05
11 GE 3:07
12 SP 3:55
13 QOS 4:08
14 OHMSS 4:34
15 NSNA 4:38
16 TND 4:50
17 DAD 4:58
18 TSWLM 5:01
19 YOLT 5:08
20 AVTAK 5:19
21 TLD 7:14
22 DN 7:50
23 LALD 8:12
24 TMWTGG 10:50
25 FRWL 18:04


#02 First flirts, kills, and sexy time for Mr Bond in each film, presented by @PropertyOfALady

Dr No
1st flirt - Sylvia Trench - 8 minutes 57 seconds - "Tell me, Miss Trench, do you play any other games? I mean, er, besides chemin de fer."
1st bedding - Miss Taro - 53 minutes 43 seconds OR Sylvia Trench - 16 minutes 15 seconds
1st kill - Tarantula - Slipper - 44 minutes 18 seconds, Professor Dent - Walther PPK, 1 shot to the chest, 1 to the back - 58 minutes 36 seconds

From Russia With Love
1st flirt - Sylvia Trench - 18 minutes 4 seconds - "I couldn't agree with him more"
1st bedding - Sylvia Trench - 18 minutes
1st kill - Member of Morenzy's attack force at the gypsy camp - Walther PPK - 1 shot to the chest - 44 minutes 43 seconds

Goldfinger
1st flirt - Jill Masterson - "I'm so glad. You're much too nice to be mixed up in a thing like this you know." - 12 minutes 53 seconds
1st bedding - Jill Masterson 14 minutes 32 seconds
1st kill - Assassin - Electrocution by fan - 4 minutes 41 seconds

Thunderball
1st flirt - Patricia Fearing - "She's the only joy in this dreary place" - 11 minutes 47 seconds
1st bedding - Not really a bedding, but Bond gets jiggly in the Turkish Bath with Patricia Fearing - 17 minutes 21 seconds followed by the Mink Glove scene at 18 minutes 17 seconds which IS in a bed
1st kill - Colonel Jacques Bouvar - broken neck by fireplace poker - 3 minutes 26 seconds

You Only Live Twice
1st flirt - Ling - "Why do Chinese girls taste different than all other girls?" - 5 minutes 10 seconds
1st bedding - Ling - 5 minutes 1 second
1st kill - Dikko Henderson's assassin - Knife - 23 minutes 3 seconds

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
1st flirt – Tracy Bond –“Please stay alive. At least for tonight.” – 13 minutes 39 seconds
1st bedding – Tracy Bond – 18 minutes 35 seconds
1st kill – Piz Gloria guard – Ski – 1 hour 37 minutes 27 seconds

Diamonds Are Forever
1st flirt – Monneypenny – “Anyone seeing you in that outfit, Moneypenny, would most certainly be discouraged from leaving the country.” – 15 minutes 30 seconds
1st bedding – Tiffany Case – 43 minutes 23 seconds
1st kill – “Blofeld’s” plastic surgery patient – 3 minutes 3 seconds

Live and Let Die
1st flirt –Miss Caruso – “Sheer magnetism, darling.” – 12 minutes 33 seconds
1st bedding – Miss Caruso - 7 minutes 37 seconds
1st kill – Snake – Burned to death with aftershave – 34 minutes 36 seconds, Mr Big’s guard – kicked off a cliff – 48 minutes 45 seconds

The Man with the Golden Gun
1st flirt – Moneypenny – “Moneypenny, you are better than a computer.” – 14 minutes 32 seconds
1st bedding – Goodnight – 1 hour 8 minutes 47 seconds
1st kill – Scaramanga, Bond’s only victim – Walther PPK to the chest – 1 hour 52 minutes 25 seconds

The Spy Who Loved Me
1st flirt – Log Cabin Girl – “Let me try and enlarge your vocabulary.” - 5 minutes 2 seconds
1st bedding – Log Cabin Girl – 4 minutes 47 seconds
1st kill – Sergei Barsov – Ski pole to the chest – 7 minutes 9 seconds

Moonraker
1st flirt – Flight attendant – “I don’t think I’m ever going to fly with anyone else.” – 2 minutes 47 seconds
1st bedding – Dr. Holly Goodhead – 25 minutes 45 seconds
1st kill – Pilot – Death by falling without a parachute - 4 minutes 45 seconds

For Your Eyes Only
1st flirt – Moneypenny – “Moneypenny, a feast for my eyes.” – 17 minutes 20 seconds
1st bedding – Countess Lisl – 1 hour 8 minutes 5 seconds
1st kill – Blofeld – Down a chimney – 6 minutes 33 seconds

Octopussy
1st flirt – Penelope Smallbone – “Well, I must say you become more beautiful every day.” – 13 minutes 33 seconds
1st bedding – Octopussy – 43 minutes 23 seconds
1st kill – Kamal Khan’s man – Slammed onto a bed of nails – 37 minutes 6 seconds

A View to a Kill
1st flirt – Kimberly Jones – "Call me James. It's five days to Alaska." – 6 minutes 4 seconds
1st bedding – Kimberly Jones – 6 minutes 2 seconds
1st kill – Two guards in Siberia – Helicopter explosion – 4 minutes 55 seconds

The Living Daylights
1st flirt – Linda – “Better make that two.” – 7 minutes 30 seconds
1st bedding – Kara Milovy in the Ferris wheel – 1 hour 4 minutes
1st kill – Guy in Land Rover – 6 minutes 45 seconds

Licence to Kill
1st flirt – Della Leiter – “I thought it was the other way around.” – 12 minutes 43 seconds
1st bedding – Pam Bouvier – 57 minutes 46 seconds
1st kill –Milton Krest’s guard – Death by fish - 30 minutes 27 seconds

GoldenEye
1st flirt – Caroline – “Let’s try and put that behind us, shall we?” – 15 minutes 30 seconds
1st bedding – Caroline – 17 minutes – “A very thorough evaluation” in the DB5.
1st kill – Guards of General Ouromov – Crushed by barrels – 8 minutes 15 seconds

Tomorrow Never Dies
1st flirt – Danish teacher – “I’ve always enjoyed studying a new tongue, Professor.”- 22 minutes 25 seconds
1st bedding –Danish teacher – 22 minutes 24 seconds
1st kill – USSR pilot – Ejected through another fighter jet – 9 minutes 10 seconds

The World is Not Enough
1st flirt – Moneypenny – “Oh, Moneypenny, the story of our relationship. Close, but no cigar.” – 5 minutes 10 seconds
1st bedding – Elektra King – 50 minutes 44 seconds
1st kill – One of Lachaise’s bodyguards – Walther P99 – Two shots to the chest – 2 minutes 25 seconds

Die Another Day
1st flirt – Jinx Johnson – “Magnificent view.” – 36 minutes 37 seconds
1st bedding – Jinx Johnson – 38 minutes 30 seconds.
1st kill – One of the hovercraft occupants – Hovercraft explosion – 9 minutes 26 seconds

Casino Royale
1st flirt – Solange – “Well, because then they’d be bad.” – 37 minutes 52 seconds
1st bedding – Vesper Lynd – 2 hours 2 minutes
1st kill – Dryden – Walther P99 – One shot to the chest – 3 minutes 25 seconds

Quantum of Solace
1st flirt – Strawberry Fields – “I can’t find the, um, stationery.” – 55 minutes 20 seconds
1st bedding – Strawberry Fields – 56 minutes 7 seconds
1st kill – Mr White’s guys – Heckler & Koch UMP-9 to the chest- 3 minutes 25 seconds

Skyfall
1st flirt – Moneypenny – “I’m not sure I could survive your best.” – 34 minutes 27 seconds
1st bedding – Bond’s Lover – 21 minutes 47 seconds
1st kill – One of Silva’s bodyguards - Percussion Cap Ardesa 1871 Dueling Pistol – One shot to the right shoulder – 1 hour 20 minutes 7 seconds

SPECTRE
1st flirt – Lucia Sciarra – “What a lovely view.” – 34 minutes 3 seconds
1st bedding – Lucia Sciarra – 36 minutes 29 seconds
1st kill – One of Sciarra’s men - Glock 17 (FAB Defense KPOS Glock to Carbine Conversion) – One round to the right shoulder – 5 minutes 57 seconds


#03 Moneypenny, everything about Lois, all about Eve, it’s a Bliss to watch Bond, presented by @BondJasonBond006 and @PropertyOfALady

She is an iconic character for sure. Fleming never gave her a first name, but author Weinberg did and called her JANE.
In Skyfall she was named EVE.

Lois Maxwell played her in Dr. No the first time and the last time in A View To A Kill which makes her the longest serving Moneypenny by far.
14 films from 1962 to 1985.
Caroline Bliss played her two times in both Timothy Dalton films. 1987-1989.
Samantha Bond played her during the Brosnan-era from 1995-2002, four times.
Naomie Harris played her two times so far in Skyfall and Spectre 2012-2015.

Dr. No
Screentime: 1 minute 19 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (at MI6 office)
Best quote: "You never take me to dinner looking like this, James. You never take me to dinner, period."
Nail polish: red

From Russia With Love
Screentime: 2 minutes 14 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (at MI6 office)
Best quote: "Hey, your old case sounds interesting, James."
Nail polish: red

Goldfinger
Screentime: 53 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (at MI6 office)
Best quote: "The only gold I know, is the kind you wear. You know, on the third finger on your left hand."
Nail polish: red

Thunderball
Screentime: 1 minute 54 seconds
Number of scenes: 3 (at MI6 office and in conference room)
Best quote: "Smashing figure. I don’t suppose that has anything to do with your request."
Nail polish: red

You Only Live Twice
Screentime: 1 minute 08 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (on Royal Navy Ship H.M.S. Tenby office)
Best quote: "You’re late as usual, even from your own funeral."
Nail polish: red

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Screentime: 2 minutes 27 seconds
Number of scenes: 3 (M's office (once her voice only) and Bond's wedding)
Best quotes:
"Heartless brute! Letting me pine away without even a postcard."
"My problem is, you never do anything with me."
Nail polish: Clear

Diamonds Are Forever
Screentime: 33 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (at customs office)
Best quote: "A Diamond? In a ring?."
Nail polish: red

Live and Let Die
Screentime: 1 minute dead
Number of scenes: 1 (Bond's flat)
Best quotes: Goodbye, James. Or should I say 'Ciao, Bello'?"
Nail polish not visible due to black leather gloves.

The Man with the Golden Gun
Screentime: 44 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (M's office)
Best quotes:
Bond: "Moneypenny, Fairbanks."
"Alaska."
Bond "No: Bill Fairbanks, 002"
Nail polish: Red

The Spy Who Loved Me
Screentime: 15 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (M's office, M's Egypt office)
Best quote:
"Must have been quite the party."
Nail polish: Clear

Moonraker
Screentime: 34 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (M’s office and M’s Rio office)
Best quote: James, you look as though you’ve just fallen off a mountain
Nail polish: Pink

For Your Eyes Only
Screentime: 55 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (M’s office)
Best quote:“What about the rest of you?”
Nail polish: Peach

Octopussy
Screentime: 42 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (M’s office with Penelope Smallbone)
Best quote: “You’re such a flatterer, James
Nail polish: Red

A View to A Kill
Screentime: 1 minute 40 seconds
Number of scenes: 3 (M's office (x2) and the Ascot races)
Best quote: "Come on Fluke! Move your arse!"
Nail polish: Red

The Living Daylights
Screentime: 1 minute 23 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (at Q's laboratory)
Best quote: "I didn’t know you were such a music lover James. Anytime you want to drop by and listen to my Barry Manilow collection."
Nail polish: clear

Licence To Kill
Screentime: 41 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (at MI6 office)
Best quote: "Sorry, Sir. I did, Sir. I thought you’d be worried about James. He’s gone missing. Yes, Sir."
Nail polish: clear

GoldenEye
Screentime: 1 minute 05 seconds
Number of scenes: 1 (at MI6 office and hallway)
Best quote: "I know you’ll find this crushing 007, but I don’t sit at home every night, praying for some international incident, so I can run down here all dressed up to impress James Bond."
Nail polish: clear

Tomorrow Never Dies
Screentime: 1 minute 32 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (in MI6 situation room London and in M's car)
Best quote: "You always were a cunning linguist, James."
Nail polish: clear

The World Is Not Enough
Screentime: 1 minute 38 seconds
Number of scenes: 3 (at MI6 office, at the funeral, at MI6 headquarters, Scotland)
Best quote: "James, have you brought me a souvenir from your trip? Chocolates? An engagement ring?"
Nail polish: clear

Die Another Day
Screentime: 1 minute 41 seconds
Number of scenes: 2 (at MI6 office, dead, Simulation and at MI6 office)
Best quote: "I was just testing it out."
Nail polish: clear

Moneypenny doesn't appear in Casino Royale or Quantum of Solace.

Skyfall
Screentime: 8 minutes 43 seconds
Number of scenes: 5 (PTS, briefing scene, at the Macau casino, M’s enquiry, the end)
Best quote: “Her will was read today. She left you this. Maybe it was her way of telling you to take a desk job.”
Nail polish: Clear

SPECTRE
Screentime: 5 minutes 17 seconds
Number of scenes: 8 (Ushering C into M’s office, dropping James’s Skyfall personal effects at his flat, helping James during the car chase, looking into Oberhauser, being with M after the 9 Eyes victory, on screen when Blofeld taps into the security cameras, dinner with M and Q at Rules, finale)
Best quote:“It’s called life James, you should try it sometime.”
Nail polish:Red


#04 Moneypenny speaks! presented by @MooseWithFleas and @PropertyOfALady

Lois Maxwell # of Word's Spoken as Moneypenny
Dr. No - 85
From Russia With Love - 69
Goldfinger - 65
Thunderball - 107
You Only Live Twice - 80
On Her Majesty's Secret Service - 123
Diamonds Are Forever - 14
Live And Let Die - 35
The Man With The Golden Gun - 45
The Spy Who Loved Me - 19
Moonraker - 39
For Your Eyes Only - 40
Octopussy - 40
A View To A Kill - 58
Total Words Spoken: 814

Pamela Salem # of Words Spoken as Moneypenny
Never Say Never Again - 55
Total Words Spoken: 55

Caroline Bliss # of Words Spoken as Moneypenny
The Living Daylights - 117
Licence to Kill - 20
Total Words Spoken: 137

Samantha Bond # of Words Spoken as Moneypenny
GoldenEye - 165
Tomorrow Never Dies - 72
The World is Not Enough - 38
Die Another Day - 20
Total Words Spoken: 295

Naomie Harris # of Word's Spoken as Moneypenny
Skyfall - 420
Spectre - 309
Total Words Spoken: 729

Lois Maxwell

DN
Well, see if he’s there, will you? James, where on earth have you been? I’ve been searching London for you. 007 is here, sir. He’ll see you in a minute. Me. Given an ounce of encouragement. You never take me to dinner looking like this, James. You never take me to dinner. Period. Flattery will get you nowhere. But don't stop trying. Strangways. And it looks serious. We’ve been burning the air between here and Jamaica for three hours. Oh. In you go. Good luck.

FRWL
He's been asking for you all morning. Where in the world are you James? I'll tell him. Hey your old case sounds interesting James. It'll be a miracle if he can explain where he's been all day. And one plane ticket, lucky man. I've never been to Istanbul. No. Maybe I should get you to take me there someday. I've tried everything else. Oh really, James? Good luck. Ciao.

GF
Oh the only gold I know about is the kind you wear, you know, on the third finger of your left hand. Well, what about tonight you come around for dinner and I'll cook you a beautiful angel cake. That's the flimsiest excuse you've ever given me. Oh, well, some girls have all the luck. Who is she, James? So there's hope for me yet.

TB
A red square with a spike through it? Oh, sorry sweetie you're off-duty. File it till you get back. On yogurt and lemon juice, I can hardly wait. I can't hear you James have you fainted? You are late! Uh-uh. In the conference room. Something pretty big. Every double o man in Europe's been rushed in. And the Home Secretary too. Smashing figure! I don't suppose that has anything to do with your request. Now James you can't pull the wool over my eyes. You may be able to con the old man but I know better. I could... James, how else will you recognize her? Sir.

YOLT
You'd better go right in. You're late as usual, even from your own funeral. In you go, sir. Oh, by the way, how was the girl? Uh, the Chinese one we fixed you up with. Mm, she'll never know what she missed. Yes, sir. We tried to think of something that you wouldn't forget. I love you. Repeat it please to make sure you get it. James, good luck. Instant Japanese. You may need it.
It'll be a pleasure, Sir.

OHMSS
Well, replies to our Cairo, Amsterdam, and Madrid enquiries all negative, sir. James! Where have you been? Same old James. Oh! Only more so. Heartless brute! Letting me pine away without even a postcard. Oh, I'd adore that. If only I could trust myself. You'd better go in, he's running a very tight ship today. That was a quick conference. How do you expect a girl to keep herself alluring? Ready James. Resignation from what? He wants you James. What did you expect? A Knighthood? Why don't you read it. You didn't really want to resign did you? My problem is that you never do anything with me. Where are you off to? United Nations, sir, red scrambler. I always cry at weddings.

DAF
Mr Franks, your passport is quite in order. A diamond in a ring? Yes.

LALD
Good morning, Sir. Really? I've got your ticket to New York, Q has repaired your wrist watch, and some background material on San Monique. Oh, allow me. Bye, James. Or should I say "Ciao, Bello."

TMWTGG
Alaska. Oh, poor Bill. I miss him. Officially, that was never confirmed. Beirut '69. In a cabaret with a lady called Saida. In all sorts of ways. But you never take advantage of them. Yes, sir. Yes James? Because they couldn't find the bullet, darling

TWSLM
He's on a mission sir, in Austria. Good morning James. Uh-huh. My, it must have been quite a party.

MR
He's on his last leg, sir. James! Why are you so late? Uh, Q and the minister of defense. And you should go right in. James! You look as though you just fallen off a mountain. The other courtyard.

FYEO
James! What about the rest of you? Well, you'd better go in. M's on leave and the Minister's arrived here with the chief of staff and wants to see you immediately. I can hardly wait. Oh, haven't you forgotten something?

OP
I am over here. This is Miss Penelope Smallbone, my new assistant. As I used to be? Oh, you're such a flatterer, James. So you've told me. Take it, dear. That's all you'll ever get from him. In nauseating detail.

AVTAK
Thank goodness you're here, James! I've been trying to reach you all morning. What have you been up to? You're dedication, when you're on the job is most commendable, James. Aahh! Come on, Fluke, move your ar--!! Who's number one? The grey with him? Oh! Come on, Fluke! Oh! Come on, Fluke, get a wiggle on! Oh! Pegasus!


Pamela Salem NSNA
Have you got an assignment, James? Oh. Do be careful. Oh, here you are! James, we both should be. Instead I'm looking everywhere for you. Forget that. M wants to see you right now. It's panic stations upstairs. He's been with the prime minister all day. I think you're back in business, James. Welcome home!


Caroline Bliss

TLD
Well, James, she's just your type! I'll file that with the other secret information around here. It'll have to wait. M wants you out at the Blayden safe house. You'd better hurry. M wants you to stop at Harrod's on the way and pick up a parcel. I didn't know you were such a music lover, James. Anytime you want to drop by and listen to my Barry Manilow collection... Records just sent over this translation: "Kara Milovy, talented scholarship cellist, whose arm was injured in a minor accident during an intermission last week, will be back at the academy on Thursday afternoon playing Borodin's 'String Quartet No 2 in D'. That girl must be very talented!

LTK
Sorry, sir. I did, sir. I thought you'd be worried about James. He's gone missing. Yes, sir. Q Branch please.


Samantha Bond

GE
Transmission begins from Moneypenny. Identification confirmed: Onatopp, Xenia. Ex-Soviet fighter pilot. Current suspected links to the Janus crime syndicate, St. Petersburg. Yacht Manticore is leased to a known Janus corporate front. M authorizes you to observe Miss Onatopp, but stipulates no contact without prior approval. End of transmission, Moneypenny. Goodnight, James. I trust you'll stay Onatopp of things. Good evening, James. M will meet you in the Situation Room, I'm to take you straight in. Thank you, James! I know you'll find this crushing, 007, but I don't sit at home every night praying for some international incident so I can run down here all dressed up to impress James Bond. I was on a date, if you must know, with a gentleman. We went to the theater together. As far as I can remember, James, you've never had me. You know, this sort of behaviour could qualify as sexual harassment. Someday you have to make good on your innuendos. No, I insist. You first.

TND
James? James? Where are you? I'm afraid you're gonna have to kiss off your lesson, James. We've got a situation here at the Ministry of Defense. We’re sending the fleet to China. Make that thirty minutes. You always were a cunning linguist, James. Don't ask. James. Your ticket, cover story, and rental car reservation. Sign here, please. Queen and country, James! You'll just have to decide how much pumping is needed, James.

TWINE
James, have you brought me a souvenir from your trip? Chocolates? An engagement ring? How romantic. I know exactly where to put that. M. I'm sure she was touched by his dedication...to the job in hand. The car.

DAD
All I got was a storm warning. James! Oh, James. Erm... I was erm... just testing it out. Yes, very.


Naomie Harris

SF
He's in the black Audi. What about Ronson? I wasn't using that one either. Just get clear! Tanner, which way? Down, sir! They're on the train, ma'am! I mean they're on top of a train. I'm still with them. VW Beetles. I think. Bond! He's uncoupling the cars! It's rather hard to explain ma'am. 007's still in pursuit! Looks like there isn't much more road! I don't think I can go any further I may have a shot. It's not clean. Repeat, I do not have a clean shot. There's a tunnel ahead. I'm going to lose them. Negative, there's no time. I can't, I may hit Bond. Agent down. She's ready for you. I'm the one who should say sorry. I've been reassigned. Temporary suspension from field work. Hmm! Something to do with killing 007. That was hardly my best shot. I doubt you'll get the chance. I'm assisting Gareth Mallory in the transition, and then I'll be back in the field. Yes, of course. Then you better keep moving. Room service. I've got some new information. It's all part of the learning curve. And Q's afraid of flying. So whoever stole the list has already decrypted it. They posted the first five names on the web. Well, that's just the start. They're posting five more next week, and the week after. It's some kind of sadistic game. Cutthroat razor. How very traditional. Sometimes the old ways are the best. Are you putting your life in my hands again? My official directive was to help in any way I can. You know, Mallory's not as bad as you think. You should do your homework. Gareth Mallory was a lieutenant colonel. So there's more to him than meets the eye. Keep still. This is the tricky part. Now that's better. You look the part now. Mm. Old dog, new tricks. Evening. I've got them covered. You don't scrub up so bad yourself. You're telling me. I like a little flutter now and then. Who doesn't like to take chances? She's pretty. If you like that sort of thing. Go, go, go, go! Move! Move! Go! Move! Wow. I didn't even know you could come up here. I can see why. I declined. You said it yourself, fieldwork's not for everyone. Her will was read today. She left you this. Maybe it was her way of telling you to take a desk job. Oh! Well, my name's Eve. Eve Moneypenny. Me, too. I'm sure we'll have one or two close shaves.

SP
James. So? How was the meeting? Here. Forensics finally released this. It's personal effects they recovered from Skyfall. What do you mean? Evening. Have you just moved in? Well, I like what you've done with the place. Your delivery. No, thanks. I'm not staying. What's going on, James? There's not one person at MI6 who isn't talking about it. That what you did in Mexico was one step too far. That you're finished. I think you're just getting started. All right. I think you've got a secret. And it's something you won't tell anyone. Because you don't trust anyone. Jesus. Where did you get it? Well, she was never short of surprises. And what have you found? When's the funeral? If you think M's signing off on that, you're insane. He won't let you out of his sight. You want me to be your mole. And what makes you think you can trust me? Oh, it's just something from an admirer. No, sir. That was last week. Bond? So, she was right. I ran that check. Oh, my boss had his credit card stolen. It's nothing. Why don't you go back to sleep. No one. It's just a friend. It's called life, James. You should try it sometime. The Pale King. It looks like you had dealings with him before. Quantum. That's him. Last unconfirmed sighting, Altaussee in Austria, four months ago. Yeah. Okay. Go. After his death? What are you talking about? Bond? I ran that check. Looks like you've had dealings with him before. Quantum. Last unconfirmed sighting, Altaussee in Austria. Good evening, sir. Sorry to interrupt your supper, but we have some news. See, every known map registers it is empty desert. But, sir, we know where he's heading. Sir, we can't just desert Bond. They've seen us! Reverse! No. But I can hazard a guess.
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Comments

  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Christmas Jonestown
    Posts: 28,757
    Congratulations on this thread. Very fun idea and looking forward to following it.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation Co-Founder
    edited May 2016 Posts: 2,782
    First flirts, kills, and sexy time for Mr Bond in each film

    Dr No
    1st flirt - Sylvia Trench - 8 minutes 57 seconds - "Tell me, Miss Trench, do you play any other games? I mean, er, besides chemin de fer."
    1st bedding - Miss Taro - 53 minutes 43 seconds OR Sylvia Trench - 16 minutes 15 seconds
    1st kill - Tarantula - Slipper - 44 minutes 18 seconds, Professor Dent - Walther PPK, 1 shot to the chest, 1 to the back - 58 minutes 36 seconds

    From Russia With Love
    1st flirt - Sylvia Trench - 18 minutes 4 seconds - "I couldn't agree with him more"
    1st bedding - Sylvia Trench - 18 minutes
    1st kill - Member of Morenzy's attack force at the gypsy camp - Walther PPK - 1 shot to the chest - 44 minutes 43 seconds

    Goldfinger
    1st flirt - Jill Masterson - "I'm so glad. You're much too nice to be mixed up in a thing like this you know." - 12 minutes 53 seconds
    1st bedding - Jill Masterson 14 minutes 32 seconds
    1st kill - Assassin - Electrocution by fan - 4 minutes 41 seconds

    Thunderball
    1st flirt - Patricia Fearing - "She's the only joy in this dreary place" - 11 minutes 47 seconds
    1st bedding - Not really a bedding, but Bond gets jiggly in the Turkish Bath with Patricia Fearing - 17 minutes 21 seconds followed by the Mink Glove scene at 18 minutes 17 seconds which IS in a bed
    1st kill - Colonel Jacques Bouvar - broken neck by fireplace poker - 3 minutes 26 seconds

    You Only Live Twice
    1st flirt - Ling - "Why do Chinese girls taste different than all other girls?" - 5 minutes 10 seconds
    1st bedding - Ling - 5 minutes 1 second
    1st kill - Dikko Henderson's assassin - Knife - 23 minutes 3 seconds

    On Her Majesty's Secret Service
    1st flirt – Tracy Bond –“Please stay alive. At least for tonight.” – 13 minutes 39 seconds
    1st bedding – Tracy Bond – 18 minutes 35 seconds
    1st kill – Piz Gloria guard – Ski – 1 hour 37 minutes 27 seconds

    Diamonds Are Forever
    1st flirt – Monneypenny – “Anyone seeing you in that outfit, Moneypenny, would most certainly be discouraged from leaving the country.” – 15 minutes 30 seconds
    1st bedding – Tiffany Case – 43 minutes 23 seconds
    1st kill – “Blofeld’s” plastic surgery patient – 3 minutes 3 seconds

    Live and Let Die
    1st flirt –Miss Caruso – “Sheer magnetism, darling.” – 12 minutes 33 seconds
    1st bedding – Miss Caruso - 7 minutes 37 seconds
    1st kill – Snake – Burned to death with aftershave – 34 minutes 36 seconds, Mr Big’s guard – kicked off a cliff – 48 minutes 45 seconds


    The Man with the Golden Gun
    1st flirt – Moneypenny – “Moneypenny, you are better than a computer.” – 14 minutes 32 seconds
    1st bedding – Goodnight – 1 hour 8 minutes 47 seconds
    1st kill – Scaramanga, Bond’s only victim – Walther PPK to the chest – 1 hour 52 minutes 25 seconds

    The Spy Who Loved Me
    1st flirt – Log Cabin Girl – “Let me try and enlarge your vocabulary.” - 5 minutes 2 seconds
    1st bedding – Log Cabin Girl – 4 minutes 47 seconds
    1st kill – Sergei Barsov – Ski pole to the chest – 7 minutes 9 seconds

    Moonraker
    1st flirt – Flight attendant – “I don’t think I’m ever going to fly with anyone else.” – 2 minutes 47 seconds
    1st bedding – Dr. Holly Goodhead – 25 minutes 45 seconds
    1st kill – Pilot – Death by falling without a parachute - 4 minutes 45 seconds

    For Your Eyes Only
    1st flirt – Moneypenny – “Moneypenny, a feast for my eyes.” – 17 minutes 20 seconds
    1st bedding – Countess Lisl – 1 hour 8 minutes 5 seconds
    1st kill – Blofeld – Down a chimney – 6 minutes 33 seconds

    Octopussy
    1st flirt – Penelope Smallbone – “Well, I must say you become more beautiful every day.” – 13 minutes 33 seconds
    1st bedding – Octopussy – 43 minutes 23 seconds
    1st kill – Kamal Khan’s man – Slammed onto a bed of nails – 37 minutes 6 seconds

    A View to a Kill
    1st flirt – Kimberly Jones – "Call me James. It's five days to Alaska." – 6 minutes 4 seconds
    1st bedding – Kimberly Jones – 6 minutes 2 seconds
    1st kill – Two guards in Siberia – Helicopter explosion – 4 minutes 55 seconds

    The Living Daylights
    1st flirt – Linda – “Better make that two.” – 7 minutes 30 seconds
    1st bedding – Kara Milovy in the Ferris wheel – 1 hour 4 minutes
    1st kill – Guy in Land Rover – 6 minutes 45 seconds

    Licence to Kill
    1st flirt – Della Leiter – “I thought it was the other way around.” – 12 minutes 43 seconds
    1st bedding – Pam Bouvier – 57 minutes 46 seconds
    1st kill –Milton Krest’s guard – Death by fish - 30 minutes 27 seconds

    GoldenEye
    1st flirt – Caroline – “Let’s try and put that behind us, shall we?” – 15 minutes 30 seconds
    1st bedding – Caroline – 17 minutes – “A very thorough evaluation” in the DB5.
    1st kill – Guards of General Ouromov – Crushed by barrels – 8 minutes 15 seconds

    Tomorrow Never Dies
    1st flirt – Danish teacher – “I’ve always enjoyed studying a new tongue, Professor.”- 22 minutes 25 seconds
    1st bedding –Danish teacher – 22 minutes 24 seconds
    1st kill – USSR pilot – Ejected through another fighter jet – 9 minutes 10 seconds

    The World is Not Enough
    1st flirt – Moneypenny – “Oh, Moneypenny, the story of our relationship. Close, but no cigar.” – 5 minutes 10 seconds
    1st bedding – Elektra King – 50 minutes 44 seconds
    1st kill – One of Lachaise’s bodyguards – Walther P99 – Two shots to the chest – 2 minutes 25 seconds

    Die Another Day
    1st flirt – Jinx Johnson – “Magnificent view.” – 36 minutes 37 seconds
    1st bedding – Jinx Johnson – 38 minutes 30 seconds.
    1st kill – One of the hovercraft occupants – Hovercraft explosion – 9 minutes 26 seconds

    Casino Royale
    1st flirt – Solange – “Well, because then they’d be bad.” – 37 minutes 52 seconds
    1st bedding – Vesper Lynd – 2 hours 2 minutes
    1st kill – Dryden – Walther P99 – One shot to the chest – 3 minutes 25 seconds

    Quantum of Solace
    1st flirt – Strawberry Fields – “I can’t find the, um, stationery.” – 55 minutes 20 seconds
    1st bedding – Strawberry Fields – 56 minutes 7 seconds
    1st kill – Mr White’s guys – Heckler & Koch UMP-9 to the chest- 3 minutes 25 seconds

    Skyfall
    1st flirt – Moneypenny – “I’m not sure I could survive your best.” – 34 minutes 27 seconds
    1st bedding – Bond’s Lover – 21 minutes 47 seconds
    1st kill – One of Silva’s bodyguards - Percussion Cap Ardesa 1871 Dueling Pistol – One shot to the right shoulder – 1 hour 20 minutes 7 seconds

    SPECTRE
    1st flirt – Lucia Sciarra – “What a lovely view.” – 34 minutes 3 seconds
    1st bedding – Lucia Sciarra – 36 minutes 29 seconds
    1st kill – One of Sciarra’s men - Glock 17 (FAB Defense KPOS Glock to Carbine Conversion) – One round to the right shoulder – 5 minutes 57 seconds
  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 2,267
    Love this thread and looking forward to these installments. Great work both! One that I always wanted to start but could never get steam on was minutes/seconds of screentime for Q, M, and Moneypenny.
  • BirdlesonBirdleson San Jose, CA
    Posts: 23,466
    This is a great idea for a thread.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 15,625
    All I can say is WOW!
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.
    edited May 2016 Posts: 30,290
    Stuff like this really helps you appreciate the fine details, no matter how unusual the statistic may be. I remember counting up all the numbers on screen for some of the films, having to really look into parts of scenes that I may not have focused on much before.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 15,625

    The Living Daylights
    1st flirt – Linda – “Better make that two.” – 7 minutes 30 seconds
    1st bedding – Kara Milovy in the Ferris wheel – 1 hour 4 minutes
    1st kill – Guy in Land Rover – 6 minutes 45 seconds

    Error. Error. Must re-evaluate...
  • BirdlesonBirdleson San Jose, CA
    Posts: 23,466
    I'll keep track of joints smoked, arousals had, times I want to shoot myself, calculated urine runs and texts to that she-male @Creasy47 throughout my next Bond-A-Thon .
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation Co-Founder
    Posts: 2,782
    chrisisall wrote: »

    The Living Daylights
    1st flirt – Linda – “Better make that two.” – 7 minutes 30 seconds
    1st bedding – Kara Milovy in the Ferris wheel – 1 hour 4 minutes
    1st kill – Guy in Land Rover – 6 minutes 45 seconds

    Error. Error. Must re-evaluate...

    Congratulations, you've spotted one of 5 deliberately placed errors. If you find the other 4 you can have lunch with James Bond.

    No, I must admit you've lost me.What's the error? Want to join the team?
  • BirdlesonBirdleson San Jose, CA
    Posts: 23,466
    I would say it's more than strongly applied that he got some at the end of the PTS.
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,029
    It's sometimes a bit tricky to decide on a certain scene. I agree that Bond gets laid on the boat in the PTS but you don't see anything at all.
    On the ferris wheel Kara and Bond "go down" to the floor that implies something sexual may happen but again not clearly. TLD is special in that regard. The HIV awareness was very strong in the second half of the 80s and I think they wanted Bond to be more "reasonable" concerning bedding women.
  • ggl007ggl007 www.archivo007.com Spain, España
    Posts: 1,939
    =D> =D> =D>
    Great thread!! Congratulations to all!!
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.
    Posts: 30,290
    Birdleson wrote: »
    I'll keep track of joints smoked, arousals had, times I want to shoot myself, calculated urine runs and texts to that she-male @Creasy47 throughout my next Bond-A-Thon .

    These are exciting, solid numbers that must be shared ASAP.

    @BondJasonBond006, I figured you'd be reaching quite a few moments where you have to decide for yourself, as not everything you're calculating is black and white, I'm sure.
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    edited May 2016 Posts: 9,029
    Creasy47 wrote: »
    Birdleson wrote: »
    I'll keep track of joints smoked, arousals had, times I want to shoot myself, calculated urine runs and texts to that she-male @Creasy47 throughout my next Bond-A-Thon .

    These are exciting, solid numbers that must be shared ASAP.

    @BondJasonBond006, I figured you'd be reaching quite a few moments where you have to decide for yourself, as not everything you're calculating is black and white, I'm sure.

    I'm especially interested n the arousals numbers :))

    Yes @Creasy47 , some data is easy to get like first talking, first appearance was more tricky.
    In the end I decided that as soon as you see either Bond's whole body or his face I collect the data. OHMSS was tricky as you see Bond's head from behind and in dark lighting in his car first. Was that enough to recognise him or only later on? But I decided to go with it as it was obvious it is him.
    SF has Bond walking towards the camera but blurry for some time, still I got the time right away as it is obvious it must be him imo.
    I and PropertyOfALady will take the freedom to decide on such things but we are glad to amend data if something is disputed :)
    It was big fun to do this and boy am I glad to have the iTunes files, imagine I had to put in and out the Blu-rays :D

    Next I'm doing Bonds first drink/ordering drink, that'll be fun!
  • Posts: 3,041
    Great thread :)
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation Co-Founder
    edited May 2016 Posts: 2,782

    It was big fun to do this and boy am I glad to have the iTunes files, imagine I had to put in and out the Blu-rays :D


    You mean like I have to do?
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!
    Posts: 15,333
    Great idea for a thread, guys!!!! I love this stuff. Thanks. :>
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited May 2016 Posts: 11,930
    Fantastic thread! You guys are nuts - I love this!

    Can you try finding out the time to each film's first explosion?
  • Posts: 10,496
    Agreed, great thread. Some fascinating reading ! =D>
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,029
    so many thanks for the kind words :)
    and remember, if you need to know what colour Moneypenny's finger nail polish is in each film give us a call!
  • BMW_with_missilesBMW_with_missiles Reminder: Unsafe driving will void warranty!
    Posts: 2,308
    How about "Time until Bond draws his pistol." I think MR will be interesting since, to my memory, he never does.
  • edited May 2016 Posts: 2,907
    Thanks gentlemen for starting up this thread.

    I look forward to you providing information on some of the other bizarre and pointless items I requested in the "Bond Films By Length" thread.

    Now, I've never thought that Bond gave Kara his very best duck on the Ferris Wheel in TLD, but I always thought he did get jiggy with Sylvia early on in Dr No. Does that not count as his very first on screen adventure??
  • BirdlesonBirdleson San Jose, CA
    Posts: 23,466
    How about "Time until Bond draws his pistol." I think MR will be interesting since, to my memory, he never does.

    He doesn't (aside for the opening gun barrel). One of the reason I was so disappointed in 1979.
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation Co-Founder
    edited May 2016 Posts: 2,782
    vzok wrote: »

    Now, I've never thought that Bond gave Kara his very best duck on the Ferris Wheel in TLD, but I always thought he did get jiggy with Sylvia early on in Dr No. Does that not count as his very first on screen adventure??

    Well, as you don't see Bond lie down immediately, I didn't count it, but if you want I could. I added her just now.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Christmas Jonestown
    Posts: 28,757
    Can you count how many cigarettes Bond smokes in each film? Count the cigars and licorice pipes, too.
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,029
    Sure. We can do anything.
  • DragonpolDragonpol Schloss Drache.
    Posts: 12,156
    Great idea for a thread - I wish the two contributors all the best and commend them on their dedication to Bondism. :)
  • PropertyOfALadyPropertyOfALady Colders Federation Co-Founder
    Posts: 2,782
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    Great idea for a thread - I wish the two contributors all the best and commend them on their dedication to Bondism. :)

    Join up. Help is always welcome.
  • TokolosheTokoloshe Under your bed
    Posts: 2,667
    Excellent thread. I'm a stats nerd myself, hence my projects of the Named Character List, Bond By Numbers and the Unique Connections Between Two Bond Films.

    This is another worthy addition to the collection of information that nobody of sound mind and body should ever care about ;-)
  • BirdlesonBirdleson San Jose, CA
    Posts: 23,466
    Next Bond-A-Thon I'll try to tackle one or two.
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