How would you edit Octopussy?

SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
in Bond Movies Posts: 1,138
For starters, this is purely a hypothetical. I was watching Octopussy last night with a mind toward how to turn what I think is a very good Bond adventure into a great one. So I was thinking of edits I would hypothetically make to the film. I'm only about halfway through, but so far I've come up with:

PTS-Cut the bit where the missle flies past Bond. It doesn't make any sense that Bond is able to outfly the missile but suddenly it flies right past him.

Cut out the plane flying through the hanger, just have it going in and out. This bit takes way too long. It'd take less than a second for the plane to fly through the hanger. It adds nothing to the scene.

Cut out the gas gauge reading empty. Cut out the “fill her up” gag. Go straight to credits instead.

Arriving in India-change the flute song Vijay plays as a signal. It can be just about any flute tune, viewers understand that Bond recognizes the tune as a code signal.

Cut out ‘keep you in curry’ line. Apparently a lot of people find this one offensive. Not being English or knowing many Indians I never saw the point.

Cut out the ‘tennis moment’ in the fight on the tuk-tuk. Very easy to cut.

Cut of Bond’s “ohh ohh ohh” as he’s walking across the coals-he’s wearing shoes dammit!

Cut out the “get off my bed!” line.

I'll add more after I finish watching today.

What would you change to take Octopussy from a good Bond film to a great one?

Note: if you don't think Octopussy is at least a pretty good film please don't comment. This isn't a thread to debate Moore's tenure.
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Comments

  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    @Sark, as I've said elswhere, I think OP is one of the most entertaining movies in the franchise. I can never tire of watching it. However, I admit there are some goofy bits, and I'd try to edit most if not all of them out.

    RE: Pretitles - I actually love it just the way it is. It looks great on film, has no crappy CGI and is suitably modern for its time. The plane is great IMO so they should leave in as much of it as possible. I actually like the bit where Bond evades the missile, because the special effects are reasonably good (despite obvious green screen). I love the 'fill er' up line too, but that's me.

    What I would cut out is nearly all the stupid stuff outdoors in India (although I realize that would mess up the story somewhat). It's just way too in your face and too much imo.

    -I like your idea of not having the Bond tune played by Vijay. Great suggestion.
    -I'd dump the bit with the people turning back and forth as Vijay uses the tennis racket. Him using it is ok....it's the turning back and forth to see the action with the fake crowd cheers that's stupid IMO
    -I'd try to dump the obvious 'sit' and tarzan yell nonsense from the jungle scene. The snake they can leave in, but dump the 'hiss off'.
    -yes, cut off the 'get off my bed' line
    -agreed. 'keep you in the curry' is silly and should be removed.
    -I'd even remove the 'rupiah' line but keep him throwing the money away and showing the people running for the cash.

    So I would just try to cut out as much of the stupid stuff in India. That's the bit that grates me because it's a little tiresome and lazy.

    I found the finale fight between the goons and OP's circus girls at the end a little silly too and would try to edit that down, perhaps using more footage of the plane sequence to fill in.

    I'd keep Bond trying to save his nuts while sliding down the stairs. I love that bit.

    I did not mind the clown suit, and I did not mind the gorilla disguise, at all.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Certainly cutting anything from the PTS is nitpicky on my part.
    Do you mean the 'rupiah' line where Bond throws all the cash in the air to get the people to chase it and hold up the thugs? Because I've always liked his quick thinking there.

    I love love love the Backgammon scene. Probably my favorite gambling scene in the series.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    Yes, you're probably correct re: 'rupiah'. It makes sense in the context of the scene, as the poor folks are alerted to the money and then run towards it. It's just that there are so many bad jokes/gags in that whole chase sequence (nearly every other scene) that it all gets too much for me. However, in the context of that scene, it works.

    A lot of folks don't like the pretitles, thinking it too playful, including the 'fill er up'. I do however, and actually prefer this pretitles to FYEO, although Barry's scoring during it is about 80% of the reason.

    Agreed on the Backgrammon. Love that bit, along with the Auction scene. Both classics for the series. That's why OP is a bit of a disappointment. If they'd just kept it more serious, I truly believe this movie would have been one of the Bond greats.
  • Posts: 246
    Don't think I'd want to drop all the gags. Can't have a po-faced Roger Moore Bond can we?

    But there are a couple of edits I'd like to be able to make. Octopussy's exposition regarding Bond's previous encounter with her dad is so crowbar'ed in; and worst of all ends so anticlimactically.

    The other one is the boob-zoom video watch gag which was just seedy coming from a 55 year old.

    I like everything else as it is though.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    Anon wrote: »
    Don't think I'd want to drop all the gags. Can't have a po-faced Roger Moore Bond can we?

    But there are a couple of edits I'd like to be able to make. Octopussy's exposition regarding Bond's previous encounter with her dad is so crowbar'ed in; and worst of all ends so anticlimactically.

    The other one is the boob-zoom video watch gag which was just seedy coming from a 55 year old.

    I like everything else as it is though.

    I forgot about this one. It was a little disturbing no doubt.

    I agree, we need the jokes in a Rog bond. I just found all those gags one after the other in the chase sequence and the jungle sequence in India particularly bad - sort of cheesy and lacking in quality. They were, dare I say, almost DAD bad. The 'boob-zoom' is indicative of the problem. I would have preferred a little more mature humour throughout the India sequences, because OP is one of my favourite Bonds (entertainment wise) and I think a lot of people would appreciate the movie more if it was a little more mature in the joke dept. The aforementioned Backgammon and Auction scenes for example are up there with the best the series has offered, along with the much maligned clown circuis bomb defusal IMO.
  • Posts: 246
    Maybe there were one or two too many gags in sequence - could seem a little relentless in retrospect, but that was the flavour of the day back then. And Roger was a master at selling those outrageously self-deprecating moments of light-hearted humour.

    I don't think the movie would benefit from a wholesale dumping of jokes. Would smack of revisionism in the face of the current vogue for more humourless Bond films.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Even if we cut out all the moments mentioned so far OP would still have more humor than all three of Craig's films.
    That's why OP is a bit of a disappointment. If they'd just kept it more serious, I truly believe this movie would have been one of the Bond greats.

    I feel similarly about AVTAK. The plot is solid, the villain is great. Obviously Roger is too old and Stacy is annoying as hell, but there's a lot there to work with.
  • Posts: 2,341
    Leave the humor. OP is fine the way it is. Humor was a big part of the Moore films and they just don't seem the same without it. Of course MR went way overboard but TSWLM, OP, FYEO had the right blend of humor and suspense.

    OP remains my favorite Moore Bond. I would not change anything.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    I think tarzan yells are a bit much.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,330
    Some quips are fine. Remove the slapstick.
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,421
    Remove the boob-zoom
    Remove the Tarzan yell
    Remove the "tennis match"

    There. A perfect Moore-era film. ;-)
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,330
    Hey now...that Zoom was a key plot point. :))
    Octopussy-Seiko2.jpg
  • Posts: 832
    I think that the tarzan thing needs to go, and the tennis match is kinda stupid. Octopussy is one of my favorites, but I think that each of the moore films goes a bit overboard with the exceptions MR and AVTAK.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 17,804
    Murdock wrote: »
    Hey now...that Zoom was a key plot point. :))
    Octopussy-Seiko2.jpg

    No, that was the series' lowest point for me. ;)
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,330
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    No, that was the series' lowest point for me. ;)
    Hey, If I was out in the field, I'd like a little pick me up every now and then. =))
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    55 year olds like boobies too ;)
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 267
    The film could have been handled so better. They had a good material to work with and they turned into this very campy, surreal Bond film that I only really watch if I'm desperate to watch a Bond film. Sounds harsh but it's the truth. The film should have had a much better villain and story. I wish the Bond girl hadn't been Octopussy and I really wanted Magda to stay a baddie. She had potential to be a very cool character but instead became a typical pointless Bond girl. IMO.

    They're some good moments in the film, but the film as a whole just didn't work for me.
  • Posts: 246
    Worth remembering that it was written by the author of the Flashman novels - which are outlandish romps with a rather ungentlemanly adventurer of a protagonist. So it's not surprising that the Indian scenes in particular have a marvellously 19th century Kiplingesque feel to them. Roger should have had mutton chops for that one.
  • Posts: 250
    To me you could make a fairly simple fix of the conclusion actually following directly on from the bomb diffusion. So you have Gogol actually catch up to Khan and Gobinda and impede their flight from Germany, Khan... kills Gogol or something to actually lend some weight to the climax but Bond comes in and does away with both of them. You can still do the aeroplane thing, just have it be in Germany as the final leg of the whole madcap operation.

    It always feels to me as though the film regresses when we have the perfunctory return to Khan's palace.
  • Posts: 1,146
    AdaShelby wrote: »
    The film could have been handled so better. They had a good material to work with and they turned into this very campy, surreal Bond film that I only really watch if I'm desperate to watch a Bond film. Sounds harsh but it's the truth. The film should have had a much better villain and story. I wish the Bond girl hadn't been Octopussy and I really wanted Magda to stay a baddie. She had potential to be a very cool character but instead became a typical pointless Bond girl. IMO.

    They're some good moments in the film, but the film as a whole just didn't work for me.

    I respect this honest assessment of the picture.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Some more moments that I think could be edited:

    -when Bond lets out an "oomph" when he's thrown in the jeep

    -"sit" to the tiger

    -Tarzan yell

    -Bond looks at his watch-while wearing the gorilla suit!

    -the "see something, look at alcohol bottle" gag with one of the guards

    -Q mobbed by women
  • TripAcesTripAces Universal Exports
    Posts: 4,554
    Ottofuse8 wrote: »
    I think that the tarzan thing needs to go, and the tennis match is kinda stupid. Octopussy is one of my favorites, but I think that each of the moore films goes a bit overboard with the exceptions MR and AVTAK.

    Interesting. I found MR went the most overboard to the point of being unwatchable. It's the one Bond film of which I'll only watch the first act.

    But the Tarzan call in OP is the one that would have to go. The tennis scene and the Bond theme flute, too.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 832
    I found the boob zoom funny... I also actually like the flute thing
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,330
    Yeah I don't mind the boob zoom either. I liked the Bond theme. Hell it's in every single Bond movie. Someone is bound to hear it. ;)
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,691
    Sark wrote: »
    I think tarzan yells are a bit much.
    It's not as bad as a Beach Boys song... but yeah, lose that & the Bond flute tune.
    I'm okay with all the rest.
  • Posts: 832
    TripAces wrote: »
    Ottofuse8 wrote: »
    I think that the tarzan thing needs to go, and the tennis match is kinda stupid. Octopussy is one of my favorites, but I think that each of the moore films goes a bit overboard with the exceptions MR and AVTAK.

    Interesting. I found MR went the most overboard to the point of being unwatchable. It's the one Bond film of which I'll only watch the first act.

    But the Tarzan call in OP is the one that would have to go. The tennis scene and the Bond theme flute, too.

    MR is definitely the most overboard. AVTAK next. The others are, for the most part, good films in my opinion, but they each are weakened by a bit too much humor.
  • Posts: 1,517
    Boob zoom?

    Arguably juvenile from a writing and filmmaking standpoint, but to suggest there is some sort of statute of limitations on older men appreciating the physical attributes of women of any age is ageism.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    CrabKey wrote: »
    Boob zoom?

    Arguably juvenile from a writing and filmmaking standpoint, but to suggest there is some sort of statute of limitations on older men appreciating the physical attributes of women of any age is ageism.

    True. That would be a shame. For all of us, and some sooner than others.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    Posts: 15,690
    If someone points a gun to my face and told me I have chose between removing the Tarzan yell from OP or the slide whistle from TMWTGG or he'll kill me.. The tarzan yell will stay in OP. I never had that much issues with it.
  • How about the adding the missing shots from the pre titles sequence? I've always wanted to see them...
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